Dream Killing Game

Who?

Any way, you get Keith Richards instead and at first it kicks ass. I mean, you party with a rock star and all the sexy groupies that come with him. But then he trashes your house and your girlfriend finds out about the groupies and THAT'S when shit hits the fan. First she calls Keith Richards' mum who, just like her son, is miraculously still alive, to come and get her naughty son. Then she beats the crap out of the groupies for touching her man (that'd be you), then kicks your ass for touching the groupies finally telling you it is over, you are not worth your time and then proceeds to make you clean up the mess made by Richards and the groupies... even though she already dumped you...
 
dammit! I DO type too much, damn you Invadeeeerrr!!!!

Mega said:
I didn't even notice I had 7 praises :(



Anyway, I wish I could live without sleeping.

Because you can live without sleeping you can party all night. That means you start making very interesting friends. From the sexy nymphomaniac you met at the club, to the syphilitic bum that lives in the alley between the club and the steak house. The disease has progressed and it is starting to show in his exponentially demented state. Because you feel sorry for him you keep him company after the dance club closes, but you are both jumped by a gang of rival bums claiming that it is their cardboard box, not Slappy's (the bum). Slappy being quite out of it because of the syphilis at this point thinks it's true, but you stand your ground... they leave.

You feel pleased for winning the argument and to celebrate you have sex for 48 hours with the sexy nympho from the dance club. Later you learn the gang took Slappy hostage to the warehouse by the docks and will kill him unless you bring them the cardboard box, their homeless, not geniuses... At any rate you bring them the box, but they are coniving motherfuckers and of course it was a trap. They had killed Slappy hours ago and now they kill you and dump your body in the ocean...

I wish people would take pot lucks seriously...
Travis_AKA_fonzbear2000 said:
You live without sleeping, but you're always so tired that you wish you would die.

I wish Maiden would come to my city on their next tour.

They do, you miss the show do to the traffic jam caused by the sensation of having Maiden come to your city.
 
Onhell said:
I wish people would take pot lucks seriously...

They do.  Everyone buys hundreds of dollars worth of unhealthy food.  People binge.  People purge.  Half of them end up in the hospital, and the other half die from massive stomach pains and diarrhea.


I wish I'd heard of this thread when it started instead of just now.  I also wish Onhell would respond to this.  :D
 
Genghis Khan said:
I wish I'd heard of this thread when it started instead of just now.  I also wish Onhell would respond to this.  :D

He does and unlucky for you... it's a long one. You hear about this new thread about killing people's dreams and curious for gratuitous violence you take a peak. To your dismay you find people chucking pebbles at massive monoliths of desire. But then, from the feeble crowd a champion arises! A true Dream Crusher like those from other Epic Poems like the Song of Roland, El Mio Cid and Horton Hears a Who!

Who is this colossus that deftly mows down dreams like your neighbor's father, Burt, mows down his own lawn, methodically and systematically... careful to trim the edges.  Some are entertained, many more are rubbed the wrong way, like when your boxers ride a little to high.  A moderator chastises him and orders him to put equal effort into other people's musings as he did on his, The Finnish Invader has the gall to demand the god among men to shorten his poetry into meaningless babble. Emboldened by the 8 layers of wheat his Wheaties breakfast provides, The Dream Crusher ignores their rantings and continues to trample through the forest of dreams like a Brazilian chainsaw through the Amazon.

But soon people's patience begins to wane, the natives get restless and take over the asylum aided by the mod squad! There is no choice but to band him and they do! Soon the thread degenerates into one sentence haikus while others attempt Iambic pentameter, upon the ashes of the ruins left at the feet of the Colossus of Dream Killing. The thread becomes unimaginative and dry. Soon it is forgotten, then merged into the 100,000 reply thread (just like THE LAST WORD! YOU COMMIES!) and it is lost to the intraweb.... forever... *sniff*


Author's note: part of the fun of this one was my delusion of grandeur... just in case people think I have the ego to have been serious :D

I wish the Last word was still active :(
 
Ura dik is Latin for LC but Latin is formally abolished as a language on Earth.... even by the Vatican.

I wish Onhell would spell "their" as "they're" when English grammer calls for it. Mexicans!
 
Psh, that's the least of my grammatical/spelling worries. I noticed I capitalize about every other word for no reason... nervous twitch I guess.

Anyway, I don't and readers are forever left to guess if I meant "there," "their" or They're." THEIR minds eventually explode as they ponder, "Does he mean location, possession or state of being!!!???" Nobody knows... well, except NPR :D

I wish I had Travis' sig animation, it kicks ass.
 
You have Travis' sig animation but you spontaneously combust.

I wish I knew how to add sig animation.........
 
You do, but the animation you pick is so large it first freezes the site, then causes it to crash... permanently.
 
OH man that is DELICIOUS! There's a pizza joint a block from my house that makes AMAZING eggplant Parmesian, but you are not here so you don't get any.

hmm I should go get some lunch now. I wish I could teleport.
 
You teleport, but your body is split in half.  The one half is just fine dining on the best eggplant parmasano EVER!  The other half is left wondering the world looking for his better half.

I wish I wasn't such a dick!
 
You're not, but now you're a cunt.



I wish I didn't have that pesky wart that I just blew up with a screwdriver.
 
Your wart disappears with massive amounts of Oxy pads.  Unfortunately they dry your skin so much that you need a permanent sprinkler system set up to keep it moisturized.

I wish my Civilization V game wasn't on my wife's laptop.
 
Crap, I knew I should've said vagina.

Anyway, it's not, but it's not on yours either.


I wish I had fat stacks of cash.
I may have already said that.
 
Mega said:
Crap, I knew I should've said vagina.

Vagina.

Mega said:
Anyway, it's not, but it's not on yours either.

Nooooooooooooooooooo!  Does your cruelty know no bounds?

Mega said:
I wish I had fat stacks of cash.
I may have already said that.

The cash flows from heavens and falls and falls.  Then come meatballs with clouds.  The next thing you know your whole city is a garbage dump.  But at least you're rich.  But now everyone is out to get you.
 
Back
Top