Dream Killing Game

You can! But your wonderful writing is masterfully depressing and they stop printing your epic wordsmithery, because people keep killing themselves. The police chief says it's a shame since he's never seen such beauty in the world as those of the suicide scenes. Except maybe that of a plastic bag floating aimlessly.

I wish I had won a laptop at the staff raffle.
 
You can, but after 7 seconds you will come crashing down.

I wish I could snap my fingers and grant my own wishes.
 
Yax said:
You can, but after 7 seconds you will come crashing down.

I wish I could snap my fingers and grant my own wishes.
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One sunny afternoon, you snap your fingers, and to your surprise, your long-held wish of [insert wish here] immediately comes true.

However, since you snapped your fingers clean off, you are unable to replicate this stunt.

I wish I could find really comfy pillows.
 
You can, they´re extremely comfy so you manage to fall asleep very soon but you dream you're eating a gigantic marshmallow and when you wake up the next morning you realise one pillow is missing.

I wish I could climb walls like Spider-Man
 
Your dream comes true, but in return you can no longer walk on floors. It takes you forever to get anywhere because you have to come around from the side of every building you enter.

I wish I could turn invisible
 
November becomes all nice and warm and sunny but every man you meet tells you how their No-Fap November is going.

I wanna get laid.
 
Your crush sends you a single of James’s hit “Laid” and then ghosts you thereafter.

I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me.
 
Flaming Blimp Crash said:
Your stalker shows you as much with their love letter spelled with cut out words from various magazines.

I want my turducken to show up already.
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Your Turducken is delivered by Colonel Sanders, who then swallows it whole and says "That was finger licking good!"

I wish that I lived in a cartoon universe!
 
Enjoy your day off. Your sibling has called and asked you to pick them up from the airport. After you arrive at the airport, the displays show that the flight has been delayed for three hours.

I wish that I could get a new TV
 
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