You are on your way to Wendy's when a Blackhawk helicopter swoops down and blows it to pieces. You barely avoid the 40 car pile up of rubberneckers in front of you and turn on NPR to find out what the hell is going on, because if someone knows what the hell is going on.... it's NPR, yeeeaaah. Turns out the Blackhawk is being piloted by Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre who annoyed by Wendy's campaign, "You know when it's real," they decided to show Wendy's what "Keeping it Real," is really all about. The decision was a bittersweet one for them to make as they, like the stereotypical African American, LOVE chicken, specially the number 6 off the Wendy's menu, but a lesson in gangsta keeping it realness must be taught. If not when will it stop? WHEN I ASK YOU? Nobody knows, except NPR of course... yeeeaaah.
But not all hope is lost! What's this? NPR just announced that the systematical removal of all the Wendy's nationwide has inspired Dave Chappelle to return to TV. You catch the tail-end of the interview before Dr. Dre blows down the radio towers... "So Dave... what did you find so inspiring about Dr. Dre's and Snoop's recent rampage?" "You see Bob, This is EXACTLY what I invisioned in my skits 'when keeping it real goes wrong!' I mean, what's more wrong than one black man denying another his chicken! That's just wrong! I'm rich bitch!...."
As the radio transmission ends you decide to stop by Subway instead, get a $5 dollar foot long and you chuckle as it reminds you of the internet porn you spanked your monkey to earlier, then head home. When you turn on the TV Anderson Cooper has replaced Wolf Blizter and he reports Dave Chappellle was gunned down by Snoop Dogg and Dre after his interview for "being a sell-out." In a surprising turn of events instead of being prosecuted and jailed, Dre and Dogg are given medals for their efforts. The President of the United States explained, "Well, they're rappers... I mean c'mon, that was gangsta... and real. Not to mention, who the fuck goes to Wendy's for chicken? KFC muthafuckas!" When asked about the murder of Dave Chapelle Obama responded, "Fuck him, he was a sell-out. no further comments."
Obamaj, Dre and Dogg can still be seen at the local KFC downing some double down chicken sadwiches and downing some Dr. Pepper. Wendy's never recovered and you occasionally spank your monkey to some 5 dollar foot long porn... specially when the wife is not looking.
Hmm... I wish I had a monkey.
Edit: I fucking love this game