Dream Killing Game

You do, but then you mistakenly cut a precious member of your body with that :D

I wish I could go to the moon and come back.
 
You obtain a craft that provides the capability to do this but you mistakenly program the coordinates for the Sun in instead of the Moon. The Sun is incredibly hot, even at night.

I wish peanut butter didn't exist.
 
Negative, you receive a huge heritage of peanuts fields in Bolivia

Deano said:
You obtain a craft that provides the capability to do this but you mistakenly program the coordinates for the Sun in instead of the Moon. The Sun is incredibly hot, even at night.
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Negative. I said go to the moon and come back, you gotta answer to this  :P

I wish I'd possessed an aircraft carrier
 
OK, OK.

You go to the Moon and back but you return to Earth with Moon cooties and infect the entire population thus rendering humanity extinct forever.

I wish I'd possessed an aircraft carrier
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You possess an aircraft carrier but not like you think; you are really dead and your spirit possesses the onboard computer navigation system. You have high ambitions but all you end up doing is sailing around the Indian Ocean tooting your horn.

I wish I could kick a 70 yard field goal. (American Football reference).
 
You do, but a gust of wind shifts the ball ever so slightly and you miss. Instead of being known as the greatest kicker in Football history, you're known as the unluckiest sack of shit the league has ever seen. Your depression is such you decide to quit football forever and run off to the mountains. You are never seen again, but rumors begin to spread people have sighted you playing cricket in Australia...

I wish I had a 100 mph slapshot.
 
You do but you miss and break the glass behind the goal. The puck flies, unstoppable, into your cheering, playmate, girlfriend's face; knocking out all of her teeth and mangling her nose and eyes. You are ostrasized from general society forever.

I wish I could have a great, 2 day drinking binge with Cookie Monster.
 
You have one. Within few hours, one becomes five and five become ten, and before you know it you are in the middle of a bar fight. You end up smashing someone's head against the bar desk so badly he ends up in a wheelchair, and you end up serving a 10 year prison sentence. In the prison, your big mouth gets you into trouble with the leaders among the inmates.They persuade the prison guards to give you all the crappiest jobs thinkable in a prison.

When you get out of prison, the first thing you want is a beer ...

... and the tale goes on, and on and on and oooon.

I wish I had my own albatross.
 
dammit you beat me to it!


I'll kill yours then

You do, but the stench of the dead bird around your neck assures you are forever single...


I wish I could have a chat with Milton

Edit: Seriously people? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
 
Milton Bradley, the toymaker who plays baseball.
I think he's the guy who wrote Paradise City.
 
Travis_AKA_fonzbear2000 said:
Who is Milton?
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John Milton author of Paradise Lost, but Mckindog killed it rather nicely... No wish/dream?

uuuuuuum... I wish I was done proof reading this quality control manual...
 
You do finish reading it.  But in your haste and desire to be finished, you miss read a line.  You are reading a manual of a chicken cleaner/preparing machine.  When you get to the beak removal part, the instructions should read "put its pecker in the device, tighten the clamp and twist".  However the manual reads "Put your pecker in the device, tighten the clamp and twist".  Do to your ineptitude, hundreds of chicken farmers loose their cocks.  The judge laughs a lot, wondering what has become of this nation, where people would willing put their peckers in a beak removal machine without thinking it out a little, but since the manual said it, he awards the claimants $100 million, and you have to pay it back by removing the beaks off all their chickens, and fucking all of their sheep, since they lost their peckers and thats what they do with them.


I wish that I had some egg nog.
 
Unfortunately the egg nog manual was also produced by Onhell.
You wonder what that is, floating in your cup.

I wish I could afford $700 to buy a ticket for my daughter to see her favourite singer (that's what prime seats cost. WTF?).
I wish it wasn't Taylor Swift.
 
I ran across this while searching for something else.  Time for resurrection.

mckindog said:
I wish I could afford $700 to buy a ticket for my daughter to see her favourite singer (that's what prime seats cost. WTF?).
I wish it wasn't Taylor Swift.
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You can afford $700 for her to see the singer.  The singer is Bruce Dickinson with Iron Maiden, and you can't afford the ticket for yourself.

I wish Onhell would get his act together at killing threads again; he's been slacking lately.
 
He gets his act together, but it awakens Eddie,who is feeling bored and eats you.

I want to hug Janick Gers.I have no clue why, I just feel like it.
 
You hug Janick, but Eddie gets jealous, after all they play onstage, and eats you.

I wish I had a normal sleeping schedule.
 
you do get a normal sleeping schedule

but you don't follow it.
I wish that I had a pet frog.
 
You get a pet frog, but it turns out to be poisonous, and you die. You didn't even touch it, that's how poisonous it is.

As long as I hugged Janick it's all good, and I'm honored to have been eaten by Eddie.

Ok, I wish I had a tongue like a giraffe-long enough to clean my ears with.
 
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