Dream Killing Game

You do but while cleaning your ears, your tongue gets stuck and you must walk around with your tongue on your ear forever.
 
Well, apparently, nothing happened to you, so I'll say that's all good, too. Then I have an excuse to not hear people.

I wish Davey, Janick, and H would share some of their guitar magic with me.
 
The boys share some of their "magic" with you. It becomes obvious to your small community that you couldn't possibly have learned all that awesome guitarness overnight and they begin to suspect witchcraft. They go down the list.... female (check), teenager (check), listens to satanic music heathens call "metal" (check). They decide you fit the bill and not caring that is a school night drag you out of bed, tie you to the back of a smart car and drag you to the town square where they proceed to tar and feather you.

I want to watch a marathon of House and Bones simultaneously.
 
You do, but somehow the shows mix together to create an undead version of Hugh Laurie solving crime.


I wish I had the left hand of Dave Murray and a combination of the right hands of James Hetfield and Jon Schaffer.
 
Dr. Frankenstein kills said musicians, chops off their hands and then puts you under to surgically install them. Because you decided to go with Dr. Frankenstein and not the latest and greatest in trauma/plastic surgery, he obviously does a classic 18th century botched job and while you have their hands, all those damn stitches keep you from actually being able to play... how sad.

I wish I had my own television show.
 
And you have it!  It is an amazing show, about public urination,Scarlette Johanson, Teddy Bears, and dj-ing music!  You have crowds from all over the country coming to the Great Southwest to watch your show.  it is picked up by a small cable company at first, then broadcast companies fight over you.  Then you get too big for your shorts, you piss off the wrong guy, you are drunk and stab some guy in the eye with a swizzle straw at your second favorite bar.  You are made an example of, due to the harsh laws in AZ, and the unpopularity of the state legislature.  Your show is taken over by Larry King, and his first episode is filming your public execution, death by Brittany Spears videos.
 
Nope, not only are they loud, but you have custom headphones attached to your ears that allow only that music and nothing else to get into your head.
 
Damn! they thought of everything.

You are the executioner and unfortunately die with me, because of the near exposure to the Britzilla.

I wish food was allowed in libraries.
 
Food is allowed at the library, but only very odd foods which most people find disgusting( squid, stuff like that) or food that has a high danger of killing you.


I wish Randy Rhoads was still alive, and no one else died in his place.
 
you do but you take in so much information in a short time that your brain explodes and you can no longer function as you no longer have a brain.

I wish Talk Like A Pirate Day was a national holiday
 
It becomes a holiday, but it becomes so popular that people start being pirates again, and one day one finds you, kills you, and takes all your stuff.


I wish all the guys in Maiden were immortal.( Adrian already is, so he has no need to be included.)
 
They are. But they overpower Adrian and then SMX gets angry and unleashes his fury on you.

I wish hot pizza didn't burn the top of my mouth.
 
It doesn't, it burns your entire esophagus on the way down...

I wish the Billy Joel musical, Moving Out, was actually a good show instead of a interpretive dance abortion.
 
OK, sorry, I don't see how this dream just doesn't kill its self.

However, Andrew Lloyd Webber comes along and takes the musical in hand.  He creates some sort of Billy Joel Magical Musical Mayhem that becomes the longest lasting musical on Broadway.  It becomes so popular that a cult following starts devoting Sunday mornings to re-enacting it.  They start to grow as a congregation, and after a few decades, Moving Outism becomes the largest religion in the world.  Unfortunately, aliens from another world capture the first version of it, find that we are a religion based off of it, and destroy the world to prevent it from spreading through the galaxy.

I wish it was 5 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, that I was sitting on a beach on a planet made up of only archipelagos, and that I had a fruity drink with an umbrella sitting in it while watching attractive women in bikinis rub suntan lotion on each other.
 
It is, but your penis is gone.

BAM! Unrelated kill.

I wish there was something good on TV at all times.
 
There is. But on foreign channels you don't have.

I wish youtube videos didn't take so long to buffer.
 
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