The Legend of the CHEESEVIVÖR - INCORRUPTIBLE BATTALION BATTLES 5&6 (Updated 06.12.20)
- Thread starter Perun
- Start date
KidInTheDark666
What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine too
I did not hit her!
Diesel 11
As you scream into the web of silence...
Battle 1:
Warlock are the obvious winners here, but Herman Frank is a worthy opponent all the same. He’s got some “ugly” vocals that he uses well to make “Running Back” a really fun number, but come on, “All We Are” isn’t just a cheese classic, it’s a great metal anthem. Doro is one hell of a frontwoman, and the gang vocals make for an irresistibly catchy chorus. It’s just a lot of fun crammed into three minutes.
Battle 2:
Loved the riff that opened Thornbridge’s number. No “theatrical masterpiece”, but it’s a pretty fun song overall. Velvet Viper meanwhile have a doomier riff and sound solid enough till the singer joins in. She looks like a female Blackie Lawless with half the vocal talent. “Everybody, everybody, everybody knows it!” Hahaha. Thornbridge.
Warlock are the obvious winners here, but Herman Frank is a worthy opponent all the same. He’s got some “ugly” vocals that he uses well to make “Running Back” a really fun number, but come on, “All We Are” isn’t just a cheese classic, it’s a great metal anthem. Doro is one hell of a frontwoman, and the gang vocals make for an irresistibly catchy chorus. It’s just a lot of fun crammed into three minutes.
Battle 2:
Loved the riff that opened Thornbridge’s number. No “theatrical masterpiece”, but it’s a pretty fun song overall. Velvet Viper meanwhile have a doomier riff and sound solid enough till the singer joins in. She looks like a female Blackie Lawless with half the vocal talent. “Everybody, everybody, everybody knows it!” Hahaha. Thornbridge.
Shmoolikipod
Stranger to the Light
Warlock - this is basically the definition of cheese metal.
Herman Frank - pretty good, cheesy especially with the video, but even though it's more up my sleeve I can't deny All We Are is 100% pure cheese.
Thornbridge - also good, nice sound and cheesy epic with the classic powerful/beautiful chorus.
Velvet Viper - this was terrible. Uninspired mid tempo song for the most part, and the faster bits aren't too exciting either. I dislike the vocals. This is more cringe than cheese, I go with Thornbridge...
Herman Frank - pretty good, cheesy especially with the video, but even though it's more up my sleeve I can't deny All We Are is 100% pure cheese.
Thornbridge - also good, nice sound and cheesy epic with the classic powerful/beautiful chorus.
Velvet Viper - this was terrible. Uninspired mid tempo song for the most part, and the faster bits aren't too exciting either. I dislike the vocals. This is more cringe than cheese, I go with Thornbridge...
Cheese please.
Black Wizard
Pleb Hunter
Sweet dreams are made of cheese
Who am I to dis a brie?
I cheddar the world and the feta cheese
Everybody's looking for stilton
Who am I to dis a brie?
I cheddar the world and the feta cheese
Everybody's looking for stilton
Running Wild - Conquistadores
Why is it that classic German power metal seems to reappear all the time in these games? Anyway, Running Wild are a true heavyweight of the cheese metal genre, and I can almost still feel how cool Rock 'n' Rolf Kasparek must have looked in the eighties.
Rocka Rollas - The War of Steel Has Begun
No, my friends. The War of Steel has always been there. The Gods who made Metal have always been with us. There was never Silence - there was always Metal. Also, I'm trying to give these guys the benefit of the doubt and interpret the double-headed eagle on the knight's shield as the Holy Roman one, not the Albanian or Palaiolog one. Or that of Russia.
Gloryful - Brothers in Arms
These guys actually call themselves "Glorriors". I guess that's the sort of attitude that comes with hailing from Germany's worst city.
Frozen Land - Delusions of Grandeur
At first these guys may just seem like an ordinary Finnish power metal band, and they totally are, but their lyrics were shaken up with a serious dose of WTF. The hallelujah way they sing Let the fire burn, throughout the world/Kill the angels so we can be demons - that's some serious cheese right there.
Running Wild and Frozen Land, I guess. Not really a memorable round.
MrKnickerbocker
clap hands
Holy hell the vocal atrocities in this round are strong...
Going with Running Wild for having the catchiest tune and being the goofiest bunch of fools on camera. Rocka Rollas is just terrible. Really bad Judas Priest worship.
The guy from Gloryful (what a truly shite name) sounds like the guy from Distrubed with his forced angry voice. Frozen Land is not good, but at least a more traditional cheese. Singer is also shite, though.
Going with Running Wild for having the catchiest tune and being the goofiest bunch of fools on camera. Rocka Rollas is just terrible. Really bad Judas Priest worship.
The guy from Gloryful (what a truly shite name) sounds like the guy from Distrubed with his forced angry voice. Frozen Land is not good, but at least a more traditional cheese. Singer is also shite, though.
Rocka Rollas for squealy overthetopness and hallelujah chorus (not actually a chorus, but hey), although both they and Running Wild were pretty enjoyably ripe.
I got queasy watching the Headbangcam™ camera technique from Gloryful - I agree this is a dreadful name - but they can't compete with the overtopness and general keyboardyness of Frozen Land.
I got queasy watching the Headbangcam™ camera technique from Gloryful - I agree this is a dreadful name - but they can't compete with the overtopness and general keyboardyness of Frozen Land.
The Myth of the Incorruptible Battalion, Battles I and II
Battle I
Running Wild is a classic in this genre, one of the lead ships on the great cheese ocean. Bad vocals, but not horrendous unto death, and quite fun. They're up against Rocka Rollas, who are obviously Judas Priest wannabes, but they have some lovely cheese in here. This is a tough one, and I'm leaning towards the newcomers. I'll give it to Rocka Rollas.
Battle II
Gloryful has a great name, but are they glory-filled? I'm not sure. They have a lot of the basis, but can you do a cheese that is more of a grindy sound? An excellent question, but let me ask you: do you eat crunchy cheese? I didn't think so. It gets pretty good near the end though, quite an enjoyable bit of cheese for that fadeout with the "Brothers in arms, whoaaaoaaaa." They battle against Frozen Land, who sure have those cheese chords down firmly. This is pretty good cheese, not great vocals, but not terrible, and it's got a good hallelujah in there. Frozen Land annihilates their competition with ease.
Battle I
Running Wild is a classic in this genre, one of the lead ships on the great cheese ocean. Bad vocals, but not horrendous unto death, and quite fun. They're up against Rocka Rollas, who are obviously Judas Priest wannabes, but they have some lovely cheese in here. This is a tough one, and I'm leaning towards the newcomers. I'll give it to Rocka Rollas.
Battle II
Gloryful has a great name, but are they glory-filled? I'm not sure. They have a lot of the basis, but can you do a cheese that is more of a grindy sound? An excellent question, but let me ask you: do you eat crunchy cheese? I didn't think so. It gets pretty good near the end though, quite an enjoyable bit of cheese for that fadeout with the "Brothers in arms, whoaaaoaaaa." They battle against Frozen Land, who sure have those cheese chords down firmly. This is pretty good cheese, not great vocals, but not terrible, and it's got a good hallelujah in there. Frozen Land annihilates their competition with ease.
Diesel 11
As you scream into the web of silence...
Battle 1:
Running Wild are an iconic band in cheese history, and that song had a cool melodic riff, “ugly” vocals that worked, and some really exciting drums. But Rocka Rollas really come swinging, and match the Germans pound by pound. Another cool riff, more great drumming, and what swings it for me is the singer’s pipes.
Both of these songs weren’t exactly jaw dropping, but they were both strong numbers. Rocka Rollas ultimately get my vote.
Battle 2:
I was expecting nothing short of trash from Gloryful based on the band’s name, but the further I got into the song, the more I liked it. The music is really quite good, particularly the instrumental section towards the end. And the vocal harmonies in some sections reminded me a bit of when Bruce does that (but not nearly as good of course).
Frozen Land on the other hand — I’m sorry, I was trying to pay attention to the lyrics, but that singer was so terrible I couldn’t make anything out. He ruined an otherwise interesting song. Gloryful kick their ass with some ease.
Running Wild are an iconic band in cheese history, and that song had a cool melodic riff, “ugly” vocals that worked, and some really exciting drums. But Rocka Rollas really come swinging, and match the Germans pound by pound. Another cool riff, more great drumming, and what swings it for me is the singer’s pipes.
Both of these songs weren’t exactly jaw dropping, but they were both strong numbers. Rocka Rollas ultimately get my vote.
Battle 2:
I was expecting nothing short of trash from Gloryful based on the band’s name, but the further I got into the song, the more I liked it. The music is really quite good, particularly the instrumental section towards the end. And the vocal harmonies in some sections reminded me a bit of when Bruce does that (but not nearly as good of course).
Frozen Land on the other hand — I’m sorry, I was trying to pay attention to the lyrics, but that singer was so terrible I couldn’t make anything out. He ruined an otherwise interesting song. Gloryful kick their ass with some ease.
So far, this battle has been a tussle, with clear leaders that could be undercut with rapid attacks.
Black Wizard
Pleb Hunter
Black Wizard
Pleb Hunter
Shmoolikipod
Stranger to the Light
I'm doing it in the next 2 hours probably
Shmoolikipod
Stranger to the Light
Running Wild - they have the look, they have an awesome energiser of a song with the atmospheric bookends. I lost track of how many times that dude stage dived... If all their songs are of this quality, there's no wonder I keep seeing their name.
Rocka Rollas - good quality Priest loving band. "The War of Steel" is as cheesy as you can get with a name, the fast power chords and of course, the singer doing a great job with these highs. I loved Conquasomething but this cheesier.
Gloryful - it started of very good, but the cheesiest part in the first half was the pre chorus and the camera man having fun. Starting from the instrumental break, the cheese levels rose to 9000. Good God this sing along chant wins the whole poll alone.
Side note - it reminds me of Metallica in Halo on Fire, with the whole "hello darkness, say goodbye" part (but with more wo oh oh).
Frozen Land - Perun doesn't lie when he talks about the WTF factor. That's a bad line. But the song itself - I could basically change the lyrics and discover another song. This is fine, but too typical, even for this survivor.
Rocka Rollas - good quality Priest loving band. "The War of Steel" is as cheesy as you can get with a name, the fast power chords and of course, the singer doing a great job with these highs. I loved Conquasomething but this cheesier.
Gloryful - it started of very good, but the cheesiest part in the first half was the pre chorus and the camera man having fun. Starting from the instrumental break, the cheese levels rose to 9000. Good God this sing along chant wins the whole poll alone.
Side note - it reminds me of Metallica in Halo on Fire, with the whole "hello darkness, say goodbye" part (but with more wo oh oh).
Frozen Land - Perun doesn't lie when he talks about the WTF factor. That's a bad line. But the song itself - I could basically change the lyrics and discover another song. This is fine, but too typical, even for this survivor.