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Megalodon/Marine

A million years ago, this fearsome creature lived
It was a giant sea monster, also called a shark
It was called a Megalodon shark due to it's size
It's power was huge
But now it's extinct, or is it?

Fish are smart, you know
Because they live in schools
But little fish noticed a hook
Poor little fish became pulled by it to the world above
But it got to be with it's friends

The eggs hatch, and the small turtle pops out
The moon will guide it to the ocean
But evil bird wants small turtle dead
It strikes and gets it's lunch
Poor little turtle got eaten

Young Inky likes to play with his friends
As he waves a tentacle at his friend, he tells him to come over
But what does they do?
Oh, they want to get into trouble
And they faced the consequences
And young Inky learned a lesson

Heart of fire, body of water
Living deep down underwater
But it likes fire and burning things
What is it?

The first song for today, the next song will come soon.
 
Phoenix/Cycle & Circle

It's red and it's a bird
It can live forever
When it's time to die
It will turn to ashes
But it will be reborn again
It's called a phoenix

A small plant lives on a hill, it loves sunlight
But there comes a animal, and it loves to eat plants
So the plant is eaten by the animal
But another animal comes and eats the other animal
But the animal will die soon anyway
And it will be swallowed by the ground
To become another plant
And the cycle continues

Human comes first, then comes the animals
Last comes the plants
And so goes the circle of life
 
David Johnson's Journey Part 1

I was born some time ago, don't know exactly when
But when I was born, my mother died
I didn't understand that then so my dad told me she was just on a long vacation
But I didn't know what a vacation was, so I don't understand that excuse
Some years later I found out
I was angry, yes but my father was just trying to hide it so I wouldn't be as sad
But I'm more sad that he told me the truth so long after
I went into a state of sadness
I was feeling down, because I didn't have a mother or any friends
I only had my father

One evening, he left me alone at home, telling me he was going to meet his friends and have a drink together,
since they hadn't seen eachother in a year or so
He never came home that night
So, since I feared my father was dead and I was going to be alone for the rest of my life, with no friends,
and no siblings or grandfathers or anyone related to me, since they were all dead
So, I decided I should leave my home and go on a journey for no reason, but I later found out that my decision was a good one

After a long journey, I headed home, only to see it on fire along with the rest ofthe town
Most of the houses had burned down, since they were made of wood
But in the middle of all the chaos, a young girl was lying on the ground, I saw that she was wounded
I ran over, and tried to help her but to no avail
Deciding that I couldn't leave the girl here alone and since I knew where a hospital was; three miles away

We arrived at the hospital and I told the doctor to heal her
He said yes but he said that she might be here for a long time
And I nodded and left the hospital
In my dream that night, I saw my parents
And they said;
"We've never loved you...you've always been a burden for us"
And I cried out "No!"
And when I woke up I saw their faces in the sky, I could see them clearly even though the sky was very dark
And as soon as my eyes met their eyes, their faces turn into rain that fell down on me
And I soon fell asleep again

The next day, I left to head for a new area to find sleep in
And so my journey continues...

The next song will be posted very soon
 
The School Of Hard Knocks

The students arrive to the school, dreading the coming hours
And as a teacher opens the door, a student faints due to being scared of the teacher
To get to the lessons, you had to find your doors
And inside them was your lessons

And the teacher would greet with a welcoming smile, if her smile was now considered a smile
"Welcome to the lesson, kids! We're gonna have a fun time together!"
And all the students began crying
The lesson begins

"What's 10 divided by 5?
And they would punish you, if you didn't know the answer
When it's time for recess, everyone cheers because recess was the only freedom you ever get

In this school of hard knocks
Yes, it's called the school of hard knocks
The students prefer peanuts
Yes, the students prefer peanuts
To this...this thing they call a school
Are they really gonna survive five more years, here
At the school of hard knocks

After the lessons are done, it's time for lunch
But all you get for lunch is a piece of bread and a glass of water
Because mr Fatty Batty, the headmaster of the school, eats all the food, in a disgusting manner...
manners, does manners even exist in this place?
As he rubs his large, large stomach, he laughs and rolls over to us

After lunch, the next set of torture, also called lessons, begin
First up is the football lessons
Some students enjoy that lesson because they get to see Miss Bigbottom play football
The team that loses, gets a detention which is worse than the lessons, if that's even possible

"Work faster!"
Says the lazy teacher to all of his hard-working students whose pencils move faster than a bird
But that's life

In this school of hard knocks
Yes, it's called the school of hard knocks
The students prefer peanuts
Yes, the students prefer peanuts
To this...this thing they call a school
Are they really gonna survive five more years here?
At the school of hard knocks

In this school of hard knocks
Yes, it's called the school of hard knocks
The students prefer peanuts
Yes, the students prefer peanuts
To this...this thing they call a school
Are they really gonna survive five more years here?
At the school of hard knocks

"Okay, students, school day is over, you can go home now"
"WOOHOO!"
"YEAH!"
"Yay!"
"FINALLY!"
"Don't forget to do your homework!"
"...NOOO!!!!!




 
Showthyme

Stop!
Stop burning them
Stop!
Stop burning them plants
Stop!
Don't waste our fire on these useless plants

Train!
Train your soldiers for the big battle
Because they are approaching!
The plants seeking revenge
On us for burning them for so long
And now it's their turn, to avenge
Their fallen plants

We found their base in the English fields, hidden in plain sight
We burned them with our fire, the fire was bright
The leader of them all came home to see the base all burned down
So he set his sight on the first town
That he saw
He and his army of plants, even flowers, are preparing for battle!

And they will avenge!
Yes, they will avenge their fallen friends
They will avenge!
Yes, they will avenge
"HAHA, WE ARE GONNA GET OUR REVENGE! AH! HAHAHAHA!"

Hide!
For they have arrived
Everyone is ready to fight
Every soldier with huge might
We'll be battling in bright, sunlight

And the battle begins!

Don't try to run, you cowards
You are running backwards
For you are scared
You burned us, so now it's time to strike you with our vines

Everyone, attack!
We can't let the plants win this fight
They will take over the world
And they are out for our blood

We have won this fight
The humans have been crushed
None of them is left
Nunc nostra est mundus, sed ad quid futurum est?

What did you think about these lyrics then? Please try to be positive.
 
Alright, Stardust, I'm going to give you some actual advice here.

First, most of your stuff reads more like free verse than lyrics. Give your songs tighter structures. Think about the cadence of your lines. Throw in a rhyme here and there.

Second, I get the feeling that you dash these of fairly quickly, with few or no revisions. Stream-of-consciousness writing is fine, but you'll rarely get it all right in one go. When you finish a piece, put it aside for a while and then look at it again. Which parts still sound good? Keep them, and rewrite the rest.

Take your sea creature song as an example. You've got a decent "Desolation Row" meets The Little Mermaid thing going here, with each verse being a short tale of some funny/strange/unsettling event. The problem is that you haven't worked these stories out in any detail. Look at Inky. "They want to get into trouble
and they faced the consequences", while an accurate summary of a great many literary works, isn't a very compelling narrative by itself. What kind of trouble did they get into? Did they make inappropriately shaped inkblots? There's a place for ambiguity, but you need something to be ambiguous about first.

Oh, and about "it was called a Megalodon shark due to it's size"; copying straight from an encyclopedia doesn't make for good lyrics. Just ask Steve Harris.

You've got the enthusiasm, now learn the craft.
 
Shadow said:
Alright, Stardust, I'm going to give you some actual advice here.

First, most of your stuff reads more like free verse than lyrics. Give your songs tighter structures. Think about the cadence of your lines. Throw in a rhyme here and there.

Second, I get the feeling that you dash these of fairly quickly, with few or no revisions. Stream-of-consciousness writing is fine, but you'll rarely get it all right in one go. When you finish a piece, put it aside for a while and then look at it again. Which parts still sound good? Keep them, and rewrite the rest.

Take your sea creature song as an example. You've got a decent "Desolation Row" meets The Little Mermaid thing going here, with each verse being a short tale of some funny/strange/unsettling event. The problem is that you haven't worked these stories out in any detail. Look at Inky. "They want to get into trouble
and they faced the consequences", while an accurate summary of a great many literary works, isn't a very compelling narrative by itself. What kind of trouble did they get into? Did they make inappropriately shaped inkblots? There's a place for ambiguity, but you need something to be ambiguous about first.

Oh, and about "it was called a Megalodon shark due to it's size"; copying straight from an encyclopedia doesn't make for good lyrics. Just ask Steve Harris.

You've got the enthusiasm, now learn the craft.
Click to expand...

:ok:
 
Shadow said:
Alright, Stardust, I'm going to give you some actual advice here.

First, most of your stuff reads more like free verse than lyrics. Give your songs tighter structures. Think about the cadence of your lines. Throw in a rhyme here and there.

Second, I get the feeling that you dash these of fairly quickly, with few or no revisions. Stream-of-consciousness writing is fine, but you'll rarely get it all right in one go. When you finish a piece, put it aside for a while and then look at it again. Which parts still sound good? Keep them, and rewrite the rest.

Take your sea creature song as an example. You've got a decent "Desolation Row" meets The Little Mermaid thing going here, with each verse being a short tale of some funny/strange/unsettling event. The problem is that you haven't worked these stories out in any detail. Look at Inky. "They want to get into trouble
and they faced the consequences", while an accurate summary of a great many literary works, isn't a very compelling narrative by itself. What kind of trouble did they get into? Did they make inappropriately shaped inkblots? There's a place for ambiguity, but you need something to be ambiguous about first.

Oh, and about "it was called a Megalodon shark due to it's size"; copying straight from an encyclopedia doesn't make for good lyrics. Just ask Steve Harris.

You've got the enthusiasm, now learn the craft.
Click to expand...
Thanks! I appreciate the help.
 
Stardust (Part 1)

Hear us, we are the children of the sun
The children of the moon, wherever we are
We are shining bright like a star
Even in death we are alive, watching over all

They call me the weakest star in the sky
I ran away, and they didn't care
Everyone is here, still watching the stars

Come on brother, we got to be there
When the sun starts it's fight with the moon
Come on sister, we got to be there
I know, you know, they will be coming back soon

Now, apocalypse's here, no one listens to us
Breakdown, breakdown, connecting
Received connection, connection
Connection

Times have changed, and the stars don't shine anymore
And they are heading for the door
The door of time, space, everything is nothing anymore
And they are reading all the lore
Destroying all that is bad
Oh, but that makes them sad
(Here comes the next one!)

Six more hours, and the stars form a cage
To trap the evil forces inside the cage
Inside, there is chaos
Outside, there is chaos
Come on now, we gotta go

Et tumentes reddes dominum
That's what the voices said to me
And they sounded Satanic
Et tumentes reddes dominum
That's what the voices said to me

That's what the voices said to me

Come on brother, we got to be there
When the sun starts it's fight with the moon
Come on sister, we got to be there
I know, you know, they will be coming back soon

Times have changed, and the stars don't shine anymore
And they are heading for the door
The door of time, space, everything is nothing anymore
And they are reading all the lore
Destroying all that is bad
Oh, but that makes them sad
(Here comes the next one!)

The stardust is with is all
The stardust, it will shine throughout the land
The stardust, it's gonna make us fall
To our knees

And the ship is all burned down, and no one is left
No one listens to prophets anymore
And that's why the world is destroyed
No one listens to those who are employed
Anymore...set us free!


 
The Wedding Waltz Duel

Everyone is gathered in the big room
To see the marriage of two lovers
And soon, everyone's eyes turn to the door
And the bride comes in, looking more beautiful than ever before
The soon-to-be husband (real name: Alex) stands at the steps, giving her a adoring smile
And she smiles back
The usual speech is spoken, and they share a loving kiss
And give eachother a loving smile

But little do they know that, that smile would be the last
And Zeph and his brother and their minions breaks down the wall
Entering the room, points a gun at everyone
The husband, who have encountered Zeph before
They were friends, actually
Until Zeph and his brother Typh joined the other side
They stare daggers at eachother, they take out their guns
Everyone staggers back, not wanting part in the duel
And so begins

The wedding waltz duel

The duel begins, and Zeph takes a shot at the husband, but he misses
They trade blows and shoot at eachother
No one is showing signs of stopping
Except Zeph's brother and the minions, they are dropping dead

But in the middle of all the chaos, a young girl can't find her family
And a remaining minion, accidently shoots her
She drops down
But no one sees it
But that's how it goes in

The wedding waltz duel

Oh, oh, where is my child
Oh, oh where, oh, where
There she is, no no no no
No no no
Oh, how can we save her

Oh, why, oh why, oh why, oh why
She died, she died, she died, she died
Why? Oh why, oh why, why?

THE DUEL IS GETTING MORE INTENSE
THE TENSION IT IS THICK
So thick that you could almost touch it

And with two kicks to the groin, and a bullet to the head
Alex wins the duel
But a minion is somehow still alive
Alex doesn't see the bullet, but his newly wed wife sees it and throws him out the way
To take the shot herself
Alex cries over her body as everyone else wipes their tears
And so, in a tragic way, ends

The wedding waltz duel
 
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