Here's something funny that happened to me the other day.
As I was going over the Cork and Kerry mountains, I saw Captain Farrell, and he was counting his money. So I first produced my pistol, and then produced my rapier and said, "stand and deliver, or the devil may take you!" I took all of his money - and it was a pretty penny - and brought it home to Molly. She swore that she loved me, and that she would never leave me. The devil take that woman, you know, she tricked me easy. Being drunk and weary, I went up to Molly's chamber, taking her with me. I never knew the danger. For at about six or maybe seven, in walked Captain Farrell. I jumped up and fired my pistols, and I shot him with both barrels.
Now, some men like fishing, some men like folwing and some men like to hear cannon balls roaring. But me, I like sleeping, especially in my Molly's chamber. But here I am in prison, with ball and chains... Well, at least there's whiskey in the jar. Mush a ring dum a do dum a da, whack for my daddy-o.