So I have a situation. The observant lot of of you might have noticed I went from calling my GF to my ex, to back to my GF. I chose to do that as we found ourselves in a situationship. She broke up with me before moving to the U.S, but a few months ago she proposed the classic Rom-Com pact of "If in a year, we're both still single, want to get married?" I said yes, because well.... I never wanted to break up with her, but she didn't want to do long distance. I wanted her to live through the experience of being abroad on her own and see if it really was what she wanted, turns out it is. So I'm more than happy to move back.
I have to think of us as well... "us," otherwise I'll go crazy trying to compartmentalize. Also... I get less questions from others. But the reality is we're "together." She keeps pointing out that I or her could meet someone else. Life... happens. I found the whole thing preposterous, well, of ME finding someone and I'm more than ok if she found someone. I want her to be happy, whatever that looks like.
On Monday I saw one of my coworkers I started with at the University 6 years ago. We've always gotten along and she always seemed comfortable around me, talking to me as though she's known me for years, steady eye contact, sitting next to me when there are plenty of other empty seats, etc. I always took it to mean she was sure of herself and didn't find me threatening or off-putting. Anyway, Monday. We're having small talk, I crack a joke, everyone laughs, my job is done I go pick up my stuff as I was about to leave. As I'm gathering my things in the teacher's lounge she comes in with a late lunch in hand and sits to eat. I noticed everyone else left for the day or to their classes. I was about to go home, but I felt bad just leaving her to eat by herself. I sat a couple of chairs over and the small talk, became a bit more personal, started talking about past relationships, life's craziness and the like. I told her I had joked with my students that I had had an epiphany, that I was 40 years old and had no friends. I mean, I do, but they all have lives of their own, families, responsibilities or live in other cities, states or countries. She says, "yeah, and sometimes you just want to go out, hang and have a beer." "Exactly." Then she says, "We should go out and grab a beer one of these days, you know? swap war stories." I was stunned. Did not see it coming at all. In retrospect, I remembered a friend's words when I was in a similar situation. He told me, "Onhell, a blind man could see that coming." So I said, "Yeah, definitely." "Excellent, we'll text, see ya!"
That "one of these days" is this Friday... I feel like a fucking teenager. At this stage I can usually tell if they see me as a friend or a prospect and with her... I don't know. I don't want to confuse her comfort and forwardness with flirting, when maybe she just sees me as that weird, funny coworker she can have a beer with. I guess I'll know more Friday. Stay tuned.