What are your favorite / funniest / weirdest posts and threads on MaidenFans?

This one has always been one of my favorite posts even though my opinion of the song is very different.
Forostar said:
Re: Daily Song: No More Lies

:yawn:

I find this one not the worst, but certainly the most predictable and unimaginative song Maiden ever did.
The Angel and the Gambler has a more surprising build-up. 5.

To compensate my own grumpy and against the grain review, I made you guys a little story.
- - - - - - -

Dramatis Personae
J: Janick
D: Dave
B: Bruce
A: Adrian
N: Nicko
S: Steve

Notting Hill, London... recordings of Dance of Death, Maiden’s thirteenth studio album…

A, D, J, N and B are having a beer in the bar.

J: Where is Steve?
D: He has it again.
B: What?
D: It is that time again.
A: Huh? What do you mean, Dave?
N: What hoooo! Hahaha!
B (slightly annoyed): Come on Nicko, lay it off for a minute will ya?
A: Yeah, Nicko, stop it, I don’t like this, I want to know what’s going on.
D: Steve is busy in the studio. It will take hours before we see him.
J: Huh… we have done 10 songs.
D: Yes, but he told me has some kind of tradition. On every album he wants to do at least one song by himself.

A sighs, with a worried look on his face.
B orders another beer, and looks kind of agitated.

N: Don’t worry guys, I thought we had agreed that we wouldn’t be bothered by this kind of stuff.
J: Yeah. Maybe it’ll be good!
A: Yeah. Maybe.

The guys decide to drink a few more beers and go to bed.
Next morning, they gather at the breakfast table.

A: Still no Steve.
B: I’ve had it, let’s go to him.
D: Guys ….
N: Let them, Dave, we’ll go with them. Come on, Jan.
J: I am curious too.

With firm footsteps they go to the recording room, finding S with a ghastly face.
He curses the others with the eye.

S: Four times fifty different chord schemes, and I still have no clue what to do.
With heavy fingers, lifeless fingers, my ideas wished they’d die.

S shakes his head, turns his white and sweaty face to D.

S: Dave, I told you to keep them away from me. I don’t want to be interrupted when I am wearing my albatr… eh bass around my neck!
J: So what do you have?
S, while strumming his bass: I only have this freakin’ chord scheme.
A: Hey, that sounds familiar. It reminds me of … ouch!!

Nicko takes his elbow out of Adrian’s ribs.

D: Let me see, if you change this and that a bit, then you have a few variations.
He plays it on his own guitar. S’s face changes dramatically.

S: Wow! That’s what I needed.
B: It still sounds quite the same to me.

S whistles the melodies D just came up with.

S: I need an intro too.
D: No problem, we’ll use your scheme and my variations again. We can use exactly the same chord progression, it will be the same as the couplets. We’ll just freak around with some calm guitars, like we always do. Right Adrian?

A (happy with Paschendale and not in the mood for discussion): Alright.
N: Janick?
J: I guess I will play the last solo again. But OK, you two guys work something out.
S: Alright Dave, come on. The rest: OUT!
N: Can I stay Steve?
S: OK.

Bruce, Janick and Adrian leave, slightly worried about the result.

After an hour they hear loud noise coming from the recording room. They head back to discover that S is engaged in a fistfight with D. N tries to keep them away from each other, catching some blows –with lots of tempo and rhythm changes- in the process.

B: What the fuck is going on here?
D after taking a deep breath: Look… I have helped you with this song Steve, so it’d be fair if I would get a co-credit. If I hadn’t helped you, you still would have this single bloody chord scheme!
S: No. I want to have one song by myself. That’s my tradition.
D: That’s not fair! People will say it’s not true when I tell them I contributed.

The face of S reddens.

S: We won’t tell anyone. This song is mine! When people ask, you guys are bound to tell this story, this tale, wherever you go. To teach this word by my own example. That we must love all things that I made.

J looks puzzled.

B: Do you have lyrics of your own, Steve?
S after some hesitation: Well, that was one other thing I’d like to….
D interrupts: I don’t care. I don’t want this crap anymore. I can’t stand it anymore!
S: What can’t you stand anymore?
D: No more!
S: No more what?
D: No more lies!
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Deuces High said:
STAY AWAY:

I once bought something from the Jigsaw Company, but when I opened the box, it had broken into like 500 pieces. That's horrible quality! WTF?!! My beautiful picture was ruined. Total rip-off I threw it straight in the garage.
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Diesel 11 said:
That’s either the worst joke I’ve ever heard or the best. I can’t tell. Never post again.
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CriedWhenBrucieLeft said:
Going outside is always better than some online rubbish. Do this more often if it feels right.

But be warned. Even if you stop coming to the forum & posting, Cried will haunt your dreams.
There. Is. No. Escape.
giphy.gif
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Saapanael said:
Some weirdo in a construction uniform came to my room and took a leak right on my floor in last night's dream. Was that you?
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CriedWhenBrucieLeft said:
Cried will enter your nightly slumbers in many guises and piss on your hopes & dreams.

Yes, this was I.
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