No. This thread is not a "we are pausing political talk so use it instead" thread.
Let's try and get 1,000,000 replies to this post
- Thread starter The Ancient Mariner
- Start date
Azas
Aliens Activity Area
@LooseCannon, I hope I can post this. It's really funny. Please, do not delete it.
*
The Maidenfans Mod Council: A Forum in Flames
The meeting had been called under the strictest emergency conditions, which, in the world of Maidenfans.com, meant that one of the political threads had, once again, descended into a full-scale s*** storm.
The moderators gathered in their sacred space—a private channel on ModCord, the forum’s official messaging app—each arriving with the solemn resignation of janitors called to mop up a flood of sewage.
IronThrone77: Alright, people. We’ve got a problem.
Eddie’sLeftSock: Just one?
Killers1981: Let me guess. The "West vs. East" thread again?
IronThrone77: Bigger. "Freedom of Speech vs. Forum Rules."
A collective digital groan rippled through the chat.
PhantomMod: Oh, for the love of Steve Harris. Not that one again. I thought we locked it.
StratocasterKid: We did. They made a new one called "Why Was The Other Thread Locked?"
Eddie’sLeftSock: And when we locked that one?
StratocasterKid: They made "Censorship on Maidenfans???"
Killers1981: Oh, bloody hell.
IronThrone77: Look, we have to do something. This is turning into a full-on flame war. Users are picking sides. Metallica vs. Megadeth levels of hostility.
PhantomMod: Ban 'em all. Let the gods of metal sort them out.
Eddie’sLeftSock: Steady on, mate. We’re supposed to be moderating, not running a digital inquisition.
Killers1981: Yeah, plus if we start mass-banning, they’ll just migrate to Reddit and complain about us. Again.
IronThrone77: We have to strike a balance. We want people to have discussions, but we don’t want another disaster like The Great Bruce vs. Blaze Debate of ‘22.
A hush fell over the chat. No one spoke of that day. The scars ran too deep.
StratocasterKid: What if we just let them fight it out? Survival of the fittest, forum-style. Only the strongest opinions remain.
PhantomMod: YES. LET THEM BATTLE. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
Eddie’sLeftSock: That sounds dangerously close to democracy, and I think we can all agree that democracy is a nightmare.
IronThrone77: Democracy is a great concept in theory. In practice, it’s 47 pages of people calling each other "sheep" and "bootlickers."
Killers1981: Alright, compromise time. We let the thread run, but we set some boundaries. No personal attacks, no conspiracy nonsense, no using "freedom of speech" as a get-out-of-jail-free card for being a raging lunatic.
StratocasterKid: So... basically, rules we already have but that people will ignore anyway?
IronThrone77: Exactly.
PhantomMod: I still vote for a purge.
Eddie’sLeftSock: And I still vote for a beer and ignoring it entirely.
Killers1981: I think we all just want to log off and listen to Powerslave instead.
IronThrone77: Alright. We keep an eye on it. We step in if it gets too ugly. But let’s try not to strangle discussion completely. We want Maidenfans to be a place for—
At that exact moment, another notification popped up.
New Thread Created: "MODS ARE NAZIS?????"
Silence.
PhantomMod: Banning them all. Final answer.
And with that, the mods logged off one by one, each contemplating the eternal truth: that running an online forum was the closest thing to hell one could experience without actually dying.
*
The Maidenfans Mod Council: A Forum in Flames
The meeting had been called under the strictest emergency conditions, which, in the world of Maidenfans.com, meant that one of the political threads had, once again, descended into a full-scale s*** storm.
The moderators gathered in their sacred space—a private channel on ModCord, the forum’s official messaging app—each arriving with the solemn resignation of janitors called to mop up a flood of sewage.
IronThrone77: Alright, people. We’ve got a problem.
Eddie’sLeftSock: Just one?
Killers1981: Let me guess. The "West vs. East" thread again?
IronThrone77: Bigger. "Freedom of Speech vs. Forum Rules."
A collective digital groan rippled through the chat.
PhantomMod: Oh, for the love of Steve Harris. Not that one again. I thought we locked it.
StratocasterKid: We did. They made a new one called "Why Was The Other Thread Locked?"
Eddie’sLeftSock: And when we locked that one?
StratocasterKid: They made "Censorship on Maidenfans???"
Killers1981: Oh, bloody hell.
IronThrone77: Look, we have to do something. This is turning into a full-on flame war. Users are picking sides. Metallica vs. Megadeth levels of hostility.
PhantomMod: Ban 'em all. Let the gods of metal sort them out.
Eddie’sLeftSock: Steady on, mate. We’re supposed to be moderating, not running a digital inquisition.
Killers1981: Yeah, plus if we start mass-banning, they’ll just migrate to Reddit and complain about us. Again.
IronThrone77: We have to strike a balance. We want people to have discussions, but we don’t want another disaster like The Great Bruce vs. Blaze Debate of ‘22.
A hush fell over the chat. No one spoke of that day. The scars ran too deep.
StratocasterKid: What if we just let them fight it out? Survival of the fittest, forum-style. Only the strongest opinions remain.
PhantomMod: YES. LET THEM BATTLE. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
Eddie’sLeftSock: That sounds dangerously close to democracy, and I think we can all agree that democracy is a nightmare.
IronThrone77: Democracy is a great concept in theory. In practice, it’s 47 pages of people calling each other "sheep" and "bootlickers."
Killers1981: Alright, compromise time. We let the thread run, but we set some boundaries. No personal attacks, no conspiracy nonsense, no using "freedom of speech" as a get-out-of-jail-free card for being a raging lunatic.
StratocasterKid: So... basically, rules we already have but that people will ignore anyway?
IronThrone77: Exactly.
PhantomMod: I still vote for a purge.
Eddie’sLeftSock: And I still vote for a beer and ignoring it entirely.
Killers1981: I think we all just want to log off and listen to Powerslave instead.
IronThrone77: Alright. We keep an eye on it. We step in if it gets too ugly. But let’s try not to strangle discussion completely. We want Maidenfans to be a place for—
At that exact moment, another notification popped up.
New Thread Created: "MODS ARE NAZIS?????"
Silence.
PhantomMod: Banning them all. Final answer.
And with that, the mods logged off one by one, each contemplating the eternal truth: that running an online forum was the closest thing to hell one could experience without actually dying.
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