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It must be a great state.

A lost flatlander (F) driver pulls up at a farmhouse with an old Vermonter (V) on the porch:

F: “Hey, buddy! Does this road go to Montpelier?”
V: “Nope. Stays right here.”
F: “No, I mean can I take this road to Montpelier?”
V: “Don’t think you can get it in your car.”
F: “Well, if I drive down this road, will I get to Montpelier?”
V: “Don’t know how good a driver you are.”
F: “You don’t know anything, do you?”
V: “I know I ain’t lost.”
F: “There’s not much between you and an idiot, is there?”
V: “Just this yard and that fence.”
 
Saapanael said:
That place looks beautiful in the pictures.
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Of course it is, I was born there. :ninja:
Magnus said:
It must be a great state.
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See above.
Magnus said:
A lost flatlander (F) driver pulls up at a farmhouse with an old Vermonter (V) on the porch:

F: “Hey, buddy! Does this road go to Montpelier?”
V: “Nope. Stays right here.”
F: “No, I mean can I take this road to Montpelier?”
V: “Don’t think you can get it in your car.”
F: “Well, if I drive down this road, will I get to Montpelier?”
V: “Don’t know how good a driver you are.”
F: “You don’t know anything, do you?”
V: “I know I ain’t lost.”
F: “There’s not much between you and an idiot, is there?”
V: “Just this yard and that fence.”
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Geez, this explains a lot about me...
 
G: Excuse me, sir? Can you tell me, when is the next bus to Worb?
S: The next bus?
G: Yes.
G: To Worb?
G: Yes.
S: You mean, at which time?
G: Yes!
S: I understand. Never.
G: Never? Is there no bus to Worb?
S: No.
G: Oh... Can you walk to Worb?
S: Well... if someone wanted to, he could.
G: Oh dear. How do you walk there?
S: I don’t.
G: That‘s clear to me. If you wanted to, how would you walk there.
S: By foot.
G: That’s obvious.
S: That’s not obvious. But I guess it would take you more time if you walked with your hands.
G: (looking around) Hey! I’ll take this road right here, it’s called “Worb-Street”, so it must lead to Worb, smart cookie!
S: No, it leads to Gümlingen, smart cookie.
G: If it’s called “Worb-Street”, it must lead to Worb!
S: I see. And if you take “Pestalozzi-Street”, it’ll lead you to Pestalozzi?
G: Mister, it’s clear to me that it would be a pure coincidence, if I met Pestalozzi like that.
S: Why pure coincidence? Pestalozzi is dead.
G: What? Pestalozzi has died? How?
S: I don’t know, it’s been a while ago.
G: I just saw a picture of him recently, and he still looked pretty sprightly. — But you...! Just tell me, if you had to walk to Worb, how would you walk there?
S: I wouldn’t know what to do in Worb, but I could describe you a beautiful route not far from here.
G: Mister, I have to go Worb!
S: But you’d see the famous mountains Eiger, Mönch and Jungfrau.
G: Man, I‘d like to have YOUR NERVES!
S: I need those myself.
G: Man! Just tell me: if you had to walk to Worb, how would you walk there — if you were me?!!
S: If I were you, I wouldn‘t walk there, I’d drive.
G: Drive? You said there’s no bus to Worb!
S: No, there‘s no bus, but there‘s the blue train.
G: Ah!! And when is the next blue train to Worb?
S: Let’s see — oh, it just departed 2 minutes ago, you can see it right there.
 
I've only been to Massachusetts of all New England states.

Also, why the fuck is it Massachusetts and nor Massachussetts? Having the second s be single seems capricious to me.
 
Perun said:
Also, why the fuck is it Massachusetts and nor Massachussetts? Having the second s be single seems capricious to me.
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It is for the writer to be vigilant, lest he be mocked in contempt.

It's these levels, see? Harder than Mississippi (two of both), but easier than Alanis Mor(r)is(s)et(t)e, because it's better well-known and being used more often.
 
Black Abyss Babe said:
I would have pronounced "Arkansas" exactly as it looks written down. What about just "Kansas"?
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Well, that one’s pronounced “cans us”, just like you’d expect.

Weird pronunciations aren’t limited to invader Americans, either. Mackinac Island in Michigan is actually pronounced “Mackinaw”, so native Americans were similarly touched. Maybe it’s something in the water.
 
Jer said:
Mackinac Island in Michigan is actually pronounced “Mackinaw”, so native Americans were similarly touched. Maybe it’s something in the water.
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I don’t know the Native American writing systems off the top of my head, but that sounds to me like Europeans transcribing what they heard and being hilariously weird about it. Or is there some bigger story there that I’m oblivious to?
 
Zare said:
I judge American states by their namesake battleship, not stupid trees and birds.
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This is the correct way.

Jer said:
Weird pronunciations aren’t limited to invader Americans, either. Mackinac Island in Michigan is actually pronounced “Mackinaw”, so native Americans were similarly touched. Maybe it’s something in the water.
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Arkansas is an indigenous word, so it's entirely colonizers writing it down incorrectly.
 
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