Let's try and get 1,000,000 replies to this post

It seems to me you may be contradictory in your statements. You can't go after her and let her go at the same time. You can work on improving yourself for you; if you do it for someone else (a) it won't stick (b) you'll be resentful (c) you'll be pissed. Thats not a multiple choice, its all the above.

I know you can't learn from others experience, you have to live it yourself. But we are telling you some very real truths.
 
Wästed The Great said:
It seems to me you may be contradictory in your statements. You can't go after her and let her go at the same time. You can work on improving yourself for you; if you do it for someone else (a) it won't stick (b) you'll be resentful (c) you'll be pissed. Thats not a multiple choice, its all the above.

I know you can't learn from others experience, you have to live it yourself. But we are telling you some very real truths.
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I'm not letting her go. But if it doesn't happen, then I won't care. If it does happen, how good. If it doesn't, the things I did for her will stay. I'm pretty sure about it.

I appreciate your help guys. If it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't have done this today. But let me decide about the rest.
 
Not letting her go? We'll see about that (there are other people she could date with). After all she rejected you.
I understand that we should stop advising you Flash, but I sense some obsession.
Let's hope you'll cope well with that. Sitting constantly with her at class won't make it easier.
 
The worst thing you could do is try to change yourself in hopes that someone else would like you better.
You did a great job today. Now leave her and yourself some space. For a while. `
 
The Flash said:
I simply went straight to her and started to talk. No second thoughts. The moments in the beginning were glorious. I didn't do anything that wasn't a part of myself. I had a hard time starting to talk (going to her wasn't problem but starting to say that I liked her was) but I'm glad I had because the curious looks she threw at me were amazing. (Ah, how beautiful is she) The talk itself was really fun. I was smiling the whole time and so was she. There was no tension, stress or pain involved. It was all happiness and I explained everything without screwing it up.

She thanked me for doing it face-to-face, she was going to reject me (started with a but after thanking me) but I didn't let her do so, because I wasn't expecting any good answer anyway. I've really send my message to her.

The first 20 minutes of conversation
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:scared:

I apologize in advance, because this is going to be harsh. Flash, you totally fucked this up. I told you how to handle it, and you ignored my advice. With predictable results. Might she have rejected you anyway? Maybe. But what you did gave yourself no chance. Zero. You were dead before you stepped on the beach. The sad part is, you think this went well. Part of being young is making mistakes, realizing you made a mistake, and learning from that mistake. But the frustrating thing about this little episode is that you evidently thought this went WELL, so you are not going to learn a damn thing from this.

In keeping with my theme that every situation in life can be summed up in a movie line (or two):



 
Your only option at this point is to keep bugging her until she either buckles and agrees to go out with you or gets mad at you and tells you never to speak to her again. Either will be better than the hell you have just created for yourself. But hey, why listen to me, anyway. Things seem to be going swimmingly so far. That's it for the advice. I'm done with this.

<<Stamps off in disgust>>
 
I think I couldn't explain my stance and her stance in this position very well on this forum. I had zero chance before. This whole talking was about creating a chance, not going for the chance I already had.

Plain and simple.

My mom knows everything about this situation and she supported me in my handling of it. Sorry if I caused misunderstandings.

By the way I didn't say that I was gonna change myself entirely to get her to like me. I'm great, why would I change that ? If she thinks otherwise, that's her problem but I don't think she does since we're good friends.

Let's put it that way : Her liking me is a positive note for myself, so upgrading myself in that case is also a positivity for myself.
 
Cornfed Hick said:
Your only option at this point is to keep bugging her until she either buckles and agrees to go out with you or gets mad at you and tells you never to speak to her again. Either will be better than the hell you have just created for yourself. But hey, why listen to me, anyway. Things seem to be going swimmingly so far. That's it for the advice. I'm done with this.

<<Stamps off in disgust>>
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I'm so laughing hard at my desk over this! Cornfed, dude, all I can say is wait til your kids are dating age! My kids make my head hurt...
 
I'm sorry to hear it didn't work for you Flash. You're still young though and have a long life ahead of you and you'll find someone that's right for you eventually. :)
 
Flash, I hate to say it, but Cornfed is dead on. I can tell you from my own experience, that if a girl tells you that you're a nice, sweet, lovable guy, that is your death sentence as a potential lover. She can tell you with a smile that makes your heart melt, she can hug you harder than her own dad afterwards, it doesn't matter. You have to trust me with that, as you are about to learn it the hard way, as I did. The worst thing that can happen to a relationship with a woman you're into, is that you become good friends. The more meaningful your friendship is, the worse it becomes for you. I know it doesn't sound logical, but women are the least logical beings out there. If an orangutan throws shit at a canvas, it will result with more coherent patterns than those of a woman's behaviour. If a woman tells you she wished more guys would be like you - and you will get to hear that if you go on the way you do - you might as well cut off your balls and throw them in the dumpster, because you sure as hell won't get to use them with her. Of course girls want a loving guy by her side, but they are as much out for a kick as guys are. They want to tame their men, not have a pet run to them.
 
Perun said:
Flash, I hate to say it, but Cornfed is dead on. I can tell you from my own experience, that if a girl tells you that you're a nice, sweet, lovable guy, that is your death sentence as a potential lover. She can tell you with a smile that makes your heart melt, she can hug you harder than her own dad afterwards, it doesn't matter. You have to trust me with that, as you are about to learn it the hard way, as I did. The worst thing that can happen to a relationship with a woman you're into, is that you become good friends. The more meaningful your friendship is, the worse it becomes for you. I know it doesn't sound logical, but women are the least logical beings out there. If an orangutan throws shit at a canvas, it will result with more coherent patterns than those of a woman's behaviour. If a woman tells you she wished more guys would be like you - and you will get to hear that if you go on the way you do - you might as well cut off your balls and throw them in the dumpster, because you sure as hell won't get to use them with her. Of course girls want a loving guy by her side, but they are as much out for a kick as guys are. They want to tame their men, not have a pet run to them.
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Basically, what they say is completely irrelevant and contradictory to what they do. Unfortunately the second thing is - timing is everything, if they are to ever change their feelings for you you have to be able to get the timing dead on, a day too soon/late and it's gone. If you hold our for years they may change their feelings on their own as they realise how close they are (personal experience) ... but if you say something too soon, it prevents that ever happening because it makes them take such a mental step back.

I'm not however, going to tell you to move on, because that would be insanely hypocritical of me. I think I shall leave my comments there.
 
Crimson Idol said:
Basically, what they say is completely irrelevant and contradictory to what they do. Unfortunately the second thing is - timing is everything, if they are to ever change their feelings for you you have to be able to get the timing dead on, a day too soon/late and it's gone. If you hold our for years they may change their feelings on their own as they realise how close they are (personal experience) ... but if you say something too soon, it prevents that ever happening because it makes them take such a mental step back.
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Perun said:
If an orangutan throws shit at a canvas, it will result with more coherent patterns than those of a woman's behaviour.
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Like I said -- EVERYTHING in life can be summed up with a famous movie quote:

 
You know, if we can get him to stick around a little longer, that Cornfed might start coming out of his shell. :D
 
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