SneakySneaky
Trooper
Guess who's blond? *innocent*Serratia said:
Lame and not so lame jokes
- Thread starter IronDuke
- Start date
national acrobat
Ancient Mariner
1. How Do You Catch A Unique bird?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch A Tame bird?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
I hear that The Origami PLC has just folded.
How's business.........
....crane driver? Picking up!
....tailor? So so!
....lift attendant? It has its ups and downs.
Two cows standing in a field. One turns to the other and says " Moo "
The other one says "Damn, I was just about to say that !"
Two drunks walking through a graveyard.
"Bloody hell!", exclaimed one. "This guy was 153 when he died!"
"What did they call him?"
"It just says he's called Miles and he's from London"
What is a 13 letter word that starts and ends with an 'n', and means constipation?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch A Tame bird?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
I hear that The Origami PLC has just folded.
How's business.........
....crane driver? Picking up!
....tailor? So so!
....lift attendant? It has its ups and downs.
Two cows standing in a field. One turns to the other and says " Moo "
The other one says "Damn, I was just about to say that !"
Two drunks walking through a graveyard.
"Bloody hell!", exclaimed one. "This guy was 153 when he died!"
"What did they call him?"
"It just says he's called Miles and he's from London"
What is a 13 letter word that starts and ends with an 'n', and means constipation?
NNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
A
Anonymous
Guest
Ehrmm.... me?SneakySneaky said:
Anomica
Trooper
Bathtub test
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would
DID YOU PASS THE TEST, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
The other night Anomica was invited out for a night with "the boys".
He told his wife that he would be home by midnight ..promise!
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m.,
drunk as a skunk, Anomica headed for home. Just as he got in the door, the cuckoo clock in
the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, he realized his wife would probably wake up, so he cuckooed another 9 times.
He was really proud of himself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape
a possible conflict.
The next morning his wife asked him what time he got in, and he told her twelve o'clock.
She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. When Anomica asked her why,
she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."
BBQ ETIQUETTE
BBQ season has been here for a while now.
Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking.
It's the only type of cooking a REAL MAN will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces.
4) The woman then takes it to the man who is lounging beside the
grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he
deals with the situation.
Important again:
9) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine......
10) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
11) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
12) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off".
And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.......
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would
pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
DID YOU PASS THE TEST, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
The other night Anomica was invited out for a night with "the boys".
He told his wife that he would be home by midnight ..promise!
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m.,
drunk as a skunk, Anomica headed for home. Just as he got in the door, the cuckoo clock in
the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, he realized his wife would probably wake up, so he cuckooed another 9 times.
He was really proud of himself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape
a possible conflict.
The next morning his wife asked him what time he got in, and he told her twelve o'clock.
She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. When Anomica asked her why,
she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."
BBQ ETIQUETTE
BBQ season has been here for a while now.
Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking.
It's the only type of cooking a REAL MAN will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces.
4) The woman then takes it to the man who is lounging beside the
grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he
deals with the situation.
Important again:
9) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine......
10) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
11) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
12) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off".
And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.......
Wicker Man
Trooper
Two peanuts walked into a bar, one was asalted.
national acrobat
Ancient Mariner
A blonde walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the bartender gives her one.
Some questions NOT to ask in certain countries:
Disclaimer: These are not meant to offend anybody from the countries listed below.
IRELAND
Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?
This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?
FRANCE
Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that?
Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?
ITALY
Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus?
I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s!
POLAND
Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?
GERMANY
Is this bratwurst kosher?
TURKEY
Where’s the hash at?
It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?
KOREA
Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?
CHINA
This wall isn’t so great.
ENGLAND
Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?
SWEDEN
Do you have any normal meatballs?
Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?
INDIA
You don’t live in teepees?
Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?
CANADA
You’re like Americans without money.
SPAIN
So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow.
Your women can shave if they want to, right?
Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?
MEXICO
What's that smell?
SAUDI ARABIA
Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?
RUSSIA
Is it always this cold and economically devastated?
UZBEKISTAN
Can you spell Uzbekistan?
GREECE
I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy.
AUSTRALIA
How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?
AMERICA
Was John Wayne gay?
Disclaimer: These are not meant to offend anybody from the countries listed below.
IRELAND
Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?
This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?
FRANCE
Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that?
Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?
ITALY
Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus?
I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s!
POLAND
Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?
GERMANY
Is this bratwurst kosher?
TURKEY
Where’s the hash at?
It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?
KOREA
Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?
CHINA
This wall isn’t so great.
ENGLAND
Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?
SWEDEN
Do you have any normal meatballs?
Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?
INDIA
You don’t live in teepees?
Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?
CANADA
You’re like Americans without money.
SPAIN
So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow.
Your women can shave if they want to, right?
Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?
MEXICO
What's that smell?
SAUDI ARABIA
Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?
RUSSIA
Is it always this cold and economically devastated?
UZBEKISTAN
Can you spell Uzbekistan?
GREECE
I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy.
AUSTRALIA
How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?
AMERICA
Was John Wayne gay?
A
Anonymous
Guest
Two friends, Robert and Martin are on a train journey in the same compartment. While Robert is reading a book, Martin is doing crosswords. At one point, Martin seems to struggle with a definition...
Martin: "Rob, what's a four-letter word for 'woman' that ends in 'U-N-T'?"
Robert thinks for a moment, then says: "AUNT! That's it!"
Martin ponders the answer for a few seconds, then goes: "OK then. Got an eraser?"
Martin: "Rob, what's a four-letter word for 'woman' that ends in 'U-N-T'?"
Robert thinks for a moment, then says: "AUNT! That's it!"
Martin ponders the answer for a few seconds, then goes: "OK then. Got an eraser?"
A
Anonymous
Guest
What's the difference between a dead cat on the road and a dead clown on the road?
The cat has got pieces of brain everywhere.
Two cannibals meet in the jungle.
Cannibal #1: Did you see my wife?
Cannibal #2: No.
Cannibal #1: Liar! You're still chewing!
"Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains!"
"Please, pull yourself together!"
The cat has got pieces of brain everywhere.
Two cannibals meet in the jungle.
Cannibal #1: Did you see my wife?
Cannibal #2: No.
Cannibal #1: Liar! You're still chewing!
"Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains!"
"Please, pull yourself together!"
A few waiter jokes:
Waiter, who's that man over there, he looks very ill?
-That's our oldest customer Miss. He eats here every day.
Waiter, you've got your thumb on my steak.
- I know, Sir. I didn't want it to fall on the floor again.
Waiter, this steak is tough. Try some and see what you think.
-It tastes quite tender to me, Sir.
That's the bit I've been chewing for the past ten minutes.
Waiter, does the pianist do requests?
- Yes, Sir.
Well, would you ask him to go somewhere else and play?
Waiter, will the pancakes be long?
-No, Miss, round.
Waiter, please call me a taxi.
- Very well, Sir. You're a taxi.
Waiter, who's that man over there, he looks very ill?
-That's our oldest customer Miss. He eats here every day.
Waiter, you've got your thumb on my steak.
- I know, Sir. I didn't want it to fall on the floor again.
Waiter, this steak is tough. Try some and see what you think.
-It tastes quite tender to me, Sir.
That's the bit I've been chewing for the past ten minutes.
Waiter, does the pianist do requests?
- Yes, Sir.
Well, would you ask him to go somewhere else and play?
Waiter, will the pancakes be long?
-No, Miss, round.
Waiter, please call me a taxi.
- Very well, Sir. You're a taxi.
Albie
Keeping an open eye on the Weeping Angels.
Here is a story of a boy, a boy with a fixation for tractors (much in the same way as Yax with pies, or Perun with Easter Island). A boy obsessed. He had tractor wallpaper, tractor bedsheets on a tractor bed - his room was a shrine to the tractor.
"I am going to save up and buy myself a tractor", he said.
So he got himself a paper round when he was 4 (remember, he was obsessed).
He got a part-time job when he was 16.
He got a full-time job upon leaving school.
Now a young man and after years of hard graft and no leisure time, he had put enough money by to purchase the tractor. Boy, was he pleased.
Off he went in search of the nearest tractor showroom.
He found one and went in.
"Good morning sir" said the sales assistant, "and how can we help?"
"I want a tractor" he said and pointed to one, "that one".
"Oh, I must say sir, what an excellent choice. The Rolls Royce of tractors."
The sales assistant sees the large wad of cash. "And I presume sir will pay by cash? Good. How much land does Sir have?"
The young man was stunned. Land? He thought, but why.
"I don't have any!" he replied.
"Well sir, if you have no land you cannot buy this tractor. This tractor is a working tractor and must be worked on land. I can not sell to you. Good day sir!" The sales assistant showed him the door.
He was sad, but hope sprung out in the sight of a different tractor show room. He went in.
"Alright pal" said the ever so less than formal sales assistant, "what can we do you for?"
"I want that tractor." the young man said.
"Good choice pal, how much land do you have?"
Again? He felt like a bus had rammed into him.
"I have none." sadly he replied.
"Well, I can't do business. This is a working tractor and can't be sold with out the land to work it on. Sorry."
He was dejected. He went into a third show room, a fourth, a fifth. And each time he was told the same. No land, no tractor. His obsession with tractors had been quashed - for good.
"Gah", he thought "I will go out and get absolutely rat-faced with this money." And of he went in search of the nearest inn.
He found what looked like a nice cosy little place, so he went in. But this place was full of smoke - thick smoke - barely could he see a foot in front of himself. Very slowly, he made his way to the bar.
"What's with the smoke?" he inquired to the bartender.
"Well, it's been here for years - we just can't seem to shift it. We have tried everything, but nothing has worked."
"Leave it to me." said the young man.
So he stood in the middle of the bar and took one massive deep breath in. All the smoke was sucked in by this one intake of breath. He then went outside and breathed out. The smoke just drifted harmlessly away. He went back inside to a clear and stunned bar.
"How the hell did you do that?" said the bartender.
"You see, I'm an ex-tractor fan."
"I am going to save up and buy myself a tractor", he said.
So he got himself a paper round when he was 4 (remember, he was obsessed).
He got a part-time job when he was 16.
He got a full-time job upon leaving school.
Now a young man and after years of hard graft and no leisure time, he had put enough money by to purchase the tractor. Boy, was he pleased.
Off he went in search of the nearest tractor showroom.
He found one and went in.
"Good morning sir" said the sales assistant, "and how can we help?"
"I want a tractor" he said and pointed to one, "that one".
"Oh, I must say sir, what an excellent choice. The Rolls Royce of tractors."
The sales assistant sees the large wad of cash. "And I presume sir will pay by cash? Good. How much land does Sir have?"
The young man was stunned. Land? He thought, but why.
"I don't have any!" he replied.
"Well sir, if you have no land you cannot buy this tractor. This tractor is a working tractor and must be worked on land. I can not sell to you. Good day sir!" The sales assistant showed him the door.
He was sad, but hope sprung out in the sight of a different tractor show room. He went in.
"Alright pal" said the ever so less than formal sales assistant, "what can we do you for?"
"I want that tractor." the young man said.
"Good choice pal, how much land do you have?"
Again? He felt like a bus had rammed into him.
"I have none." sadly he replied.
"Well, I can't do business. This is a working tractor and can't be sold with out the land to work it on. Sorry."
He was dejected. He went into a third show room, a fourth, a fifth. And each time he was told the same. No land, no tractor. His obsession with tractors had been quashed - for good.
"Gah", he thought "I will go out and get absolutely rat-faced with this money." And of he went in search of the nearest inn.
He found what looked like a nice cosy little place, so he went in. But this place was full of smoke - thick smoke - barely could he see a foot in front of himself. Very slowly, he made his way to the bar.
"What's with the smoke?" he inquired to the bartender.
"Well, it's been here for years - we just can't seem to shift it. We have tried everything, but nothing has worked."
"Leave it to me." said the young man.
So he stood in the middle of the bar and took one massive deep breath in. All the smoke was sucked in by this one intake of breath. He then went outside and breathed out. The smoke just drifted harmlessly away. He went back inside to a clear and stunned bar.
"How the hell did you do that?" said the bartender.
"You see, I'm an ex-tractor fan."
What do you get if you cross a jeep with a dog?
A land rover.
Why did the chicken run onto the pitch?
The referee called a foul.
Doctor, I think I'm shrinking.
- Well, you'll just haveto be a little patient.
Doctor, I think I have water on the brain.
- I'd better give you a tap on the head.
A land rover.
Why did the chicken run onto the pitch?
The referee called a foul.
Doctor, I think I'm shrinking.
- Well, you'll just haveto be a little patient.
Doctor, I think I have water on the brain.
- I'd better give you a tap on the head.
Yax
Ancient Mariner
A plane was circling around up in the air, and were about to crash. Onboard were four people. Yngwie Malmsteen, Kai Hansen, K.K. Downing and Bruce Dickinson were the pilote. Unfortunantly, there were only three parachutes. Kai takes one parachute and just jumps without a word. Yngwie grabs one too and says: "I'm Yngwie f*cking Malmsteen. And that's why I deserve to survive. Don't try to stop me, or you'll unleach the f'cking fury!" And then he jumps. Bruce ask K.K. about what to do, since there are only one parachute left. K.K. replies: "Don't worry Bruce, we'll both jump safely. Yngwie just jumped out with my backpack on his back.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
There's no need to cry, I was only joking.
Doctor, can you suggest a cure for sleepwalking?
- Try sprinkling these tin tacks on the floor every night before you go to bed.
Doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards.
- Wait outside, I'll deal with you later.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
There's no need to cry, I was only joking.
Doctor, can you suggest a cure for sleepwalking?
- Try sprinkling these tin tacks on the floor every night before you go to bed.
Doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards.
- Wait outside, I'll deal with you later.
Albie
Keeping an open eye on the Weeping Angels.
A story of an actor. An actor that was struggling for work. Yes, he did the odd commercial - it put food on the table - but he wanted more. A theatre job.
The luvvie meets with his agent.
"Please, can you get me stage work? I am a classically trained actor, I need to be onstage." he requested.
"I am really sorry," said his agent as he fervorously punched search requests into his computer, "I don't have anything."
"Nothing? Surely there must be just something - anything."
The agent stopped typing and just stared at his computer screen. A glimmer of hope entered his gaze.
"I have a job," he said almost excitingly, "It's a small role, with one line."
"Great, I'll do it. What does it entail?" Said the actor.
The agent turned to the actor, "All you have to do is say one line 'Who fired that cannon?' That is it."
"I'll do it." he said as he straightened his back and threw back his head proudly.
He gathered the details and headed of to Brighton. It was a dream come true, to perform onstage in Brighton - he loved Brighton. Throughout his three hour journey he practised his line in many different voices.
"Who fired that cannon?", he repeated to himself over and over again - all the way down to his destination.
He got to the theatre and introduced himself at the stage door. The stage hand took him though to his dressing room. All the way along he practised his line. "Who fired that cannon?". He was getting good. He got to his dressing room and started to get ready.
A knock came on the door.
"Who fired that cannon man - 10 minutes." said the voice through the door.
"This is it," he thought, "my moment of glory." He practiced his line - "Who fired that cannon?"
Another knock, "Who fired that cannon man - 5 minutes."
The adrenaline was pumping, his heart was racing. But still he practiced his line - "Who fired that cannon?"
One final knock, "Who fired that cannon man, please come with me." he was asked. He followed along and was lead to the wings of the stage. From there he could see a full house. But still he repeated the line over and over again - "Who fired that cannon?" he whispered.
Then in one instant a shove on his back was felt. He found himself in the centre stage the audience's attention was on him and him alone. A load bang was heard from the side of the stage.
"What the f*ck was that?" he said.
The luvvie meets with his agent.
"Please, can you get me stage work? I am a classically trained actor, I need to be onstage." he requested.
"I am really sorry," said his agent as he fervorously punched search requests into his computer, "I don't have anything."
"Nothing? Surely there must be just something - anything."
The agent stopped typing and just stared at his computer screen. A glimmer of hope entered his gaze.
"I have a job," he said almost excitingly, "It's a small role, with one line."
"Great, I'll do it. What does it entail?" Said the actor.
The agent turned to the actor, "All you have to do is say one line 'Who fired that cannon?' That is it."
"I'll do it." he said as he straightened his back and threw back his head proudly.
He gathered the details and headed of to Brighton. It was a dream come true, to perform onstage in Brighton - he loved Brighton. Throughout his three hour journey he practised his line in many different voices.
"Who fired that cannon?", he repeated to himself over and over again - all the way down to his destination.
He got to the theatre and introduced himself at the stage door. The stage hand took him though to his dressing room. All the way along he practised his line. "Who fired that cannon?". He was getting good. He got to his dressing room and started to get ready.
A knock came on the door.
"Who fired that cannon man - 10 minutes." said the voice through the door.
"This is it," he thought, "my moment of glory." He practiced his line - "Who fired that cannon?"
Another knock, "Who fired that cannon man - 5 minutes."
The adrenaline was pumping, his heart was racing. But still he practiced his line - "Who fired that cannon?"
One final knock, "Who fired that cannon man, please come with me." he was asked. He followed along and was lead to the wings of the stage. From there he could see a full house. But still he repeated the line over and over again - "Who fired that cannon?" he whispered.
Then in one instant a shove on his back was felt. He found himself in the centre stage the audience's attention was on him and him alone. A load bang was heard from the side of the stage.
"What the f*ck was that?" he said.
national acrobat
Ancient Mariner
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Onhell
Infinite Dreamer
Here is one of the sickest in a while, I read it in a book for one of my classes:
A child molseter (told you guys it was sick) is leading a little girl into the woods and the little girl tells him, "Mister, it's getting really dark. I'm scared," and the child molester says, Yeah, well how do you think I feel? I've got to walk back alone"
A child molseter (told you guys it was sick) is leading a little girl into the woods and the little girl tells him, "Mister, it's getting really dark. I'm scared," and the child molester says, Yeah, well how do you think I feel? I've got to walk back alone"
national acrobat
Ancient Mariner
The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage in front of huge crowd.
Her Majesty and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the Queen says to the Pope,
"Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?"
He doubts it, so she shows him.
Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every English person in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.
The Pope, not wanting to be out done by someone wearing a worse frock & hat than he, considers what he could do.
"Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make every IRISH person in the crowd go crazy with joy?
"This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice"
The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so: "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me"
So the Pope slapped her
Her Majesty and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the Queen says to the Pope,
"Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?"
He doubts it, so she shows him.
Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every English person in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.
The Pope, not wanting to be out done by someone wearing a worse frock & hat than he, considers what he could do.
"Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make every IRISH person in the crowd go crazy with joy?
"This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice"
The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so: "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me"
So the Pope slapped her