Dream Killing Game

Not only do they start standing back, they slowly walk away from you as you walk towards them and it quickly evolves into a game of keep-away with the neighborhood kids.

I wish my dog would stop pissing on everything.
 
You master every instrument you pick up, but you go completely deaf so you can't hear any of the music you create.

I wish the lifespan of dogs was twice as long as it currently is.
 
You made Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson mad because now they have to make a new version of Dog Years.

I wish it was now 2112 instead of 2020
 
The helium works a treat, but everyone votes against you in the Whateverrendum is going on at the time, because they don't like Jon Anderson vocals. Also, you accidentally overinflate yourself, and like one of those foil balloons, drift off never to be seen again.

I wish I had more KitKats.
 
Your top computer fan stops making any noise. Of course, this is because it's stopped working, but you don't know that. Half an hour later, your computer blows up in front of you. You don't have any backups.

I wish I didn't have to worry about computer viruses.
 
Your boss cheerily invites you into his office, offers you a squishy leather seat and asks how you would like the day off. You cordially accept, at which point he also lets you know you don't need to come in tomorrow either, or the day after, or the rest of your life, for that matter. YOU'RE FIRED. He also merrily promises to give you a really bad reference if any prospective employers get in touch.

Midnight said:
I wish I didn't have to worry about computer viruses.
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If I'd got here first, I would have said: "You don't. You have to worry about actual viruses."

I wish I could get rid of this smell of garlic in the house.
 
Brigantium said:
Your boss cheerily invites you into his office, offers you a squishy leather seat and asks how you would like the day off. You cordially accept, at which point he also lets you know you don't need to come in tomorrow either, or the day after, or the rest of your life, for that matter. YOU'RE FIRED. He also merrily promises to give you a really bad reference if any prospective employers get in touch.
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I know this is supposed to be a joke but apparently you didn´t read my post from last week in the 1.000.000 replies thread.
 
Brigantium said:
I wish I could get rid of this smell of garlic in the house.
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Because you want to attract that vampire lurking in the corner of the street. But apparently he´s the one vampire that likes garlic so he´s ringing your doorbell right now.

I wish I could play the guitar like Prince
 
You can only play like Prince, meaning you will never be able to play anything original. People start calling you an impostor.

I wish I could kiss that redhead from yesterday.
 
She turns into a frog with red hair.

I wish Hermes would sort their act out and stop being a really sh** courier service.
 
Brigantium said:
I wish Hermes would sort their act out and stop being a really sh** courier service.
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They become an amazing courier service, but the only products they deliver now are shoelaces and dental floss.

I wish Night Prowler would update his games more promptly.
 
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