Dream Killing Game

Edington

Let's Get Volatile
You can. However, you also develop his speech impediment and never say another word.

I wish I could control people like Kilgrave/The Purple Man.
 

Onhell

Infinite Dreamer
You can. However, you also develop his speech impediment and never say another word.

I wish I could control people like Kilgrave/The Purple Man.
At first it's all fun and games, seducing strippers and winning illegal, high-stakes poker games, but after months of abusing your powers you realize that the nagging rash between your legs is the least of your worries. You have secreted so many pheromones that you can no longer control people and instead attract stray dogs, cats and skunks who hump your leg, rub their ass in your face and spray you lovingly respectively. The spectacle has scared off your stripper lovers, gotten you kicked out of high-stakes poker games and Animal Control has singled you out as the sole culprit of spreading what the media has affectionally nicknamed, "doggy herpes."

I wish I had a car so as not to take public transportation anymore.
 
I wish I had a car so as not to take public transportation anymore.
You get your car, but it’s a real junker. After a week of driving, it suddenly stops working, and you are forced to return to public transportation.

I wish I could graduate college this spring instead of next spring.
 

Saapanael

Ancient Mariner
You graduate this spring and never meet your best friend ever who would've studied together with you next year.

I wish I was as hot as people on social media.
 

Edington

Let's Get Volatile
You are, but life is less than peachy. People hate you out of jealousy, others brand you a narcissist who spends all day taking photos of himself. Then, one night one of these people spots you leaving a club and savagely beats you up in the street.

I wish I was as hot as people on social media. Loop!
 

Onhell

Infinite Dreamer
You are, but quickly realize you can only live IN social media. Yip, you were sucked into the matrix and your neighbors are pornhub and xhamster. Sounds sweet, but the noise doesn't let you sleep... Ever.

I wish I could go back to work.
 

Saapanael

Ancient Mariner
The day you go back to work, they are implementing new glass panels to the building. A sheet of glass accidentally falls as you happen to walk below it and just as you look above, the glass cuts through your neck like a knife.

I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up.
 

Diesel 11

As you scream into the web of silence...
You go to bed and sleep for eternity. Unfortunately, every moment is spent in the throes of a nightmare. Enjoy.

I wish I could come up with something to wish for.
 

MindRuler

Ancient Mariner
but all of a sudden you realize you have Alzheimer so you completely forget you wish you wanted to come up with something to wish for.

I wish I was a little bit younger
 

Brigantium

General of the Dark Army
Staff member
You wake up tomorrow and you're only 43 1/2.

I wish I had more chocolate in the house.
 

Brigantium

General of the Dark Army
Staff member
Well you can. Or you could if any of the airlines haven't gone bust after lockdown.

I wish I could get the smell of burnt chilli out of the kitchen.
 

Onhell

Infinite Dreamer
You decide to leave it as it hides the smell off burnt flesh so we'll...

I wish my ceiling fan worked.
 

Saapanael

Ancient Mariner
The fan starts to work at hyper-speed, falls down from the ceiling and cuts your head off.

I wanna touch some tiddies.
 

Onhell

Infinite Dreamer
I wanna touch some tiddies.
You don't listen to continuous stay at home orders and go to your local strip club. Your dancer, Destiny, rubs her boobies in your face after taking off her bra. Are you wearing a face mask? Of course not! Do you get COVID, typhoid and the Black Death! Of course you do!

I wish I had a better computer.
 

Brigantium

General of the Dark Army
Staff member
You splash out on a fantastic new state-of-the-art computer. It's called Skynet.

I wish next door's dog would stop barking.
 

Onhell

Infinite Dreamer
You go over to tell your neighbor how annoying his dog is and find the door slightly ajar. You walk in to find the half eaten corpse of your neighbor. The dog walks into the hallway, nose to neck covered in blood, still chewing. Turns out your neighbor's dog is Cujo and it runs faster than you...

I wish I had my car already.
 
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