❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

Saapanael said:
I just met this Linda for the first time since January, and we spoke briefly. She’s just so warm.
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We happened to be working together on a music video set today. Going into this, I thought: “This is work and there’s no room for feelings.” And that’s how it went. Until we wrapped up the almost 14-hour day and I went to say goodbye, and she gave me the warmest goodbye ever, like “good luck, was nice to be on set together, till next time...” Can’t help but feel infatuated about her even when I do everything not to.
 
I'm not comfortable talking about relationships. It's just that I've had a lot of bad experiences in my life. I could date a girl for a long time, and she could leave me. I was hoping that she would come back as I read at Break Up & Get Back Together, that after a breakup, people often get back together again. I don't understand what's going on. All the ex girls didn't want to resume the relationship. True, there was one who wanted to date me, but as it turned out, she was pregnant by another man who left her.
 
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Saapanael said:
I didn’t think I’d make this post but maybe writing will help get things off my chest. While in Zlin, CZ earlier this year, I met a girl named Kseniya. To my luck, it turned out that we have many subjects in common. One day after class I decided to talk to her, asked where she’s from blablabla. She recommended me to pick a subject called Film Analysis and I did, so the next time I could initiate a conversation by saying that I enrolled in this class. When I did, we went on a walk through the woods to a cemetery. She picked the route as she knew the way. At that point, she was being more flirty than me, saying that I have the name and appearance of a prince and that she’s luring me into a forest. We eventually arrived on top of a green hill and she proposed that we could have a picnic there once the weather became warmer. After walking back to town, we split up for a few hours and then walked around again in the evening, totalling almost 20 km that day. I was feeling pretty ecstatic about it. A couple of days later, we went to the zoo. We opened up more to each other. I told her that she’s special because I could be myself when talking to her, didn’t have to put up a facade. In truth, I probably wasn’t being myself. It was a great day for me and seemed to be for her as well. She even suggested we go somewhere further away like Vienna in April (it was February then). I loved the idea and couldn’t wait. Then she went to Bratislava with two of her friends, and the day she returned to Zlin was the last day she spoke to me. While in Bratislava, she had sent me a message saying that she doesn’t want a relationship and she would be glad to stay friends. I was a little disappointed but not heartbroken. I understood that I had hoped a little too much and something more serious wouldn’t have worked out. I expected to stay friends, though. So the day she returned, we spoke a little bit, I said it’s good she told me and it’s all fine. But after that, she wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I saw picture after picture on her Instagram where she was hanging out with her friends. I’ll be honest, my thought was: “Why are you having fun without me?” I got seriously angry, went around town at night, kicking some garbage bins. For the rest of my stay in Zlin, I was constantly in bad mood because no one else’s company could substitute for Kseniya’s. We had some friends in common and it seemed like those friends wouldn’t communicate with me either. Part of me felt like she deliberately wanted to hurt me because I had told her about having a hard time connecting to people and feeling betrayed by former friends. On the other hand, she seemed to be having some personal problems as well because the few times I saw her in class in March, she looked tired and rather miserable. She was also super critical of a work I had done for Film Analysis. It was pretty shit but once again it seemed like she was intent on destroying every last piece of me. I couldn’t get her out of my head. University was then closed due to safety regulations and I had no way to see her again. We were in different dormitories and had no classes anymore. She was the first thought on my mind after waking up, and the last one before going to sleep (falling asleep was difficult). The rest of the day, I spent in bitter jealousy trying to figure out what she’s doing. I wrote to her a couple of times, about once a week, suggesting that we do something or asking how she’s doing. Her answers were always “yes”, “no”, “fine”, “I can’t”. She removed pictures I had taken of her on the 20 km walk day from her Instagram page, along with many other pictures. Towards the end of March, I saw the picture of a note she had given her roommate, an invitation to visit her in St. Petersburg. Another punch to the heart. In February, she had also invited me to visit her hometown but I knew I’d never be getting this note from her. I made one last effort to contact her, saying: “I’m leaving in a few days. I really want to see you before that.” Her answer: “Sorry, I cannot.” I then told her that I don’t understand why we haven’t been talking for a long time. No reply, as expected. A day or two later, she deleted her Instagram account. No way to contact her anymore, no need either. I had said everything I had to say.
A large part of why I came back to Estonia was because I couldn’t bear thinking about her all the time. And when I found out that she’s going to leave, I knew I had to leave as well because that place would’ve become a ghost town for me. The last month or two, my thoughts about her have been much less frequent but on some days these wounds open up again. She’s the closest I’ve been to a girl and it all collapsed so quickly and so completely. Our plans like the picnic and Vienna started to seem like lies from the start, like she never really meant them. All I have left of her is a polaroid photo of me and her at the zoo, where I look like my IQ is 30. She kept the other photo where my face was overexposed, totally white. She said she’s going to do something funny with it, just I wait, but that was another lie, I never heard about that photo again.
On first glance, Kseniya wasn’t a particularly special girl in any way. But I couldn’t help but feel attached to her. There was some longing and sadness in her eyes that fooled me into thinking that I could be of help but I ended up miserable myself. This taught me to never expect much from people. Just take things as they are, don’t create illusions about what could be. Now she’s a bittersweet memory for me, somewhere among the millions of other St. Petersburg citizens. I doubt I’ll ever get closure on this but time will make it easier to accept. Today, I saw some pictures of her that somebody had taken in Zlin and all the memories came back to me, hence the post.
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It's been almost a year since I last saw her, and even though I remember her sometimes, the memories have not been painful for a while now. I decided to look at pictures that were taken during my exchange studies, hoping to see her on some of them after a long period of keeping her out of my mind. I didn't expect, however, that I would still be missing her. The moment I saw her on an image, her distinct facial features came back to me. Something in her appearance is just striking. She's not a beauty queen, yet her look is unforgettable.
This sounds funny, but what still pisses me off after all this time is being blocked by her on Instagram. I guess she had enough of my attempts to talk to her back in Zlin. Alright, I don't want to be a creep about it. But it made me think about something: perhaps her ignoring me and taking a dump on my ego is what tore me to shreds more than anything else. Perhaps I'm just such an egoist that I can't bear being treated in that way. How someone I knew for such a brief time has had such an impact on my mental state, I cannot grasp. There's a huge amount of people out there, so why do I miss her so much, even after a year? Is it the human need for closure, a definite answer for what went wrong? I feel like one of those crazies who stalk a celebrity for years, dying to be noticed, unable to lead a normal life. But I'm not a freaking lunatic. Yet knowing that I'll probably never talk to her again is so unsettling. I will do my best to accept it and move on.
 
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