❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

I drank massive amounts of water but there’s still a moderate hangover.

What’s with chicks being so uptight nowadays (in my location, age group etc.)? I’m certain all this SJW movement has made some proportion of girls overly cautious. You can barely talk to them at parties, the ones that are more approachable and open are those who are in relationships. And overall, why the fuck do you come to a party and hang out exclusively within your own group, unwilling to let anyone else in? I’vr noticed it so much over the last year or two, with many people you have to be “in” beforehand or you’re a nobody, even if you have no evil intentions. Fucking uptight people.
 
I wanted to point something out in relation to most girls being in relationships. I can't generalize for all women, obviously, but if my experience is anything to go by, most girls/women don't end up one relationship until they have something new shaping up. Excluding abusive/toxic relationships, that is. In other words, don't look for single girls only. Someone might be in a relationship just because they haven't found the incentive to end it, which may be you in fact.
 
Yeah, agreed. Best thing you can do is make friends and be friendly, and stop worrying about the sex thing. Girls might leave a boy to be with you. They might have a friend who is single, who finds out you're cool. Basically, you gotta let go of the hangups, then girls don't see them dangling off you.
 
LooseCannon said:
No, it's really the sadly high chance of being sexually assaulted that makes girls cautious, not the movement to recognize that.
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I'm sorry but you have to suffer from cognitive dissonance to not see that the movement has become very prone to witchhunts and false accusations lately. This is a direct result of the impact the movement has had on people. Men are becoming more timid and women are becoming more uptight.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing that people are being more cautious, but it's turning quite excessive in many cases and a balance is needed.
 
The Flash said:
I'm sorry but you have to suffer from cognitive dissonance to not see that the movement has become very prone to witchhunts and false accusations lately. This is a direct result of the impact the movement has had on people. Men are becoming more timid and women are becoming more uptight.
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Nice strawman, but I don't need to keep crows away.
 
Calling it a strawman doesn't make it a strawman. I didn't say anything that was unrelated to the subject. I followed on from Saap's assertion and your response.

The false accusations are coming from people who have lost the script on what constitutes sexual harrassment and assault. This is a direct result of the movement demonizing harmless courting behaviour, making women more uptight and men more timid.
 
A quick Google search will give you tons of feminist writings that demonize the male gaze, compliments based on looks, and really anything looks related by thinking of it as sexual objectification.
 
The Flash said:
A quick Google search will give you tons of feminist writings that demonize the male gaze, compliments based on looks, and really anything looks related by thinking of it as sexual objectification.
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Yes, that is all true. The male gaze has been a portion of feminist thought for over 40 years, so why is that affecting things now?
 
Because the ideological foundations on which third-wave feminism is based have only gained prominence in humanities disciplines in Western universities in the last few decades. The effects of changes in the academic realm take some time before they have widespread social impact.

Also, social media and #MeToo. Again, this isn't to say that #MeToo isn't a fair movement, because it is, and I'm glad the likes of Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby got what was coming to them, but it has extended to cases in which the careers of some men were harmed before they were given the application of due process and it turned out that the accusations were completely unfair in the end. (I'm a comedy fan so I'm more familiar with the cases in the world of comedy, like Chris Hardwick and Aziz Ansari, and, albeit in a different way, Louis C.K.).
 
Chris Hardwick got all his shows back in the end, and I don't know anything about Aziz Ansari. But Louis C.K. probably got what he deserved too, and now he's doubling-down. No sympathy there from me.

I think there's a huge danger with suggesting that #MeToo is becoming a witch hunt. Most of the allegations seem credible in the end, because the rates of sexual harassment and assault are actually quite high. I wonder if they're higher in Hollywood/arts than elsewhere. But when I was in university the published statistics were that 25% of women would have some sort of sexual assault on them during their time at university. I can only imagine that number has gone up as reporting increases.
 
LooseCannon said:
But Louis C.K. probably got what he deserved too, and now he's doubling-down.
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I completely disagree. None of Louis C.K.'s actions were non-consensual. He did absolutely nothing that would constitute sexual harrassment or assault. He lost all of his deals, lost, according to his words, 36 million dollars and was forced into a BS apology with the reason being "abuse of status", even though he wasn't even a big figure in the industry at the time of the accusations. The abuse of status thing in terms of sexual attraction is very tricky business anyway. I think what Donald Trump admitted to in his infamous tape is abuse of status, but what Louis C.K. did isn't.

LooseCannon said:
I think there's a huge danger with suggesting that #MeToo is becoming a witch hunt.
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I think there's danger in suggesting that it isn't, because the movement is most hurt by false accusations that muddy the waters. People are pretty damn glad about Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and now R. Kelly being buried, but the other cases I mentioned, not so much. All of them being mentioned in the same breath by a sizable amount of pro-MeToo people is very, very problematic.
 
The Flash said:
I completely disagree. None of Louis C.K.'s actions were non-consensual. He did absolutely nothing that would constitute sexual harrassment or assault. He was forced into a BS apology with the reason being "abuse of status", even though he wasn't even a big figure in the industry at the time of the accusations. The abuse of status thing in terms of sexual attraction is very tricky business anyway. I think what Donald Trump admitted to in his infamous tape is abuse of status, but what Louis C.K. did isn't.
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He pulled out his penis and masturbated in front of women who didn't want to see him masturbate. How is that in any way consensual? He asked them, but multiple times it was noted that he didn't wait for an answer.

The Flash said:
I think there's danger in suggesting that it isn't, because the movement is most hurt by false accusations that muddy the waters. People are pretty damn glad about Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and now R. Kelly being buried, but the other cases I mentioned, not so much. All of them being mentioned in the same breath by a sizable amount of pro-MeToo people is very, very problematic.
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And yet the consequences for those who are falsely accused have not been all that bad. I agree there's a potential for a huge miscarriage of justice, but there's two limiting factors: 1 - it hasn't happened yet, and 2 - think about the amount of people who have had their careers and mental stability ruined in silence forever. I think it's very difficult for some men to admit it's OK for there to be a slight risk of false accusations out there, because that would be giving up power over the social dynamic.
 
LooseCannon said:
He pulled out his penis and masturbated in front of women who didn't want to see him masturbate. How is that in any way consensual? He asked them, but multiple times it was noted that he didn't wait for an answer.
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It was noted only one time, by two women in one case. I find it pretty weird that the women who claimed that they didn't give an answer also said that they saw Louie ejaculate on his stomach. They sat there and watched him even though they didn't want to?

LooseCannon said:
I think it's very difficult for some men to admit it's OK for there to be a slight risk of false accusations out there, because that would be giving up power over the social dynamic.
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Why on earth would any man want to risk the possibility of being associated with heinous crimes? That is absolute nonsense. Even when your name is cleared, the association lingers on. Many people don't even follow through to see the end of the case. Some people still think Chris Hardwick did commit sexual misconduct just because he was accused of doing so. This is even worse in the case of a non-celebrity.
 
The Flash said:
It was noted only one time, by two women in one case. I find it pretty weird that the women who claimed that they didn't give an answer also said that they saw Louie ejaculate on his stomach. They sat there and watched him even though they didn't want to?
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Social pressure is weird and he did have some power in those situations. I believe them.

The Flash said:
Why on earth would any man want to risk the possibility of being associated with heinous crimes? That is absolute nonsense. Even when your name is cleared, the association lingers on. Many people don't even follow through the see the end of the case. Some people still think Chris Hardwick did commit sexual misconduct just because he was accused of doing so. This is even worse in the case of a non-celebrity.
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And why would any woman want to risk actually being raped? But they do, all the time, every day.
 
LooseCannon said:
And why would any woman want to risk actually being raped? But they do, all the time, every day.
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Who said they should want to risk it? Now this actually is a straw man. Who said women shouldn't accuse men period?

How does coming to terms with the possibility of some women falsely accusing men of sexual harrassment and assault help decrease the risk of rape, exactly? How about they don't falsely accuse people, and we wait for due process before incriminating men? Is that too much to ask for?
 
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