❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

People in the Nordic countries freak me out because they refuse to make eye contact with me, but I'm told it's quite normal.
You're right! I had never even paid any attention to it, but yes, it's not customary here to make eye contact to people you don't know. Finns usually just sort of pretend the other person isn't even there. We value our "personal space", but I can imagine that people from different cultures may feel quite uncomfortable if they're not used to that kind of treatment.

About the pick-up artistry: I have actually been chatted up in the street in Finland a few times. None of those men spoke Finnish. :bigsmile: They were clearly tourists or had been here for a short time only. All of them were quite good-looking and pleasant, actually, but it totally freaked me out that they approached me in the street, so I didn't even consider getting to know them any further. One of them was a bit more straightforward, he asked right away if I wanted to have sex with him. I didn't, though. :D
 
ou're right! I had never even paid any attention to it, but yes, it's not customary here to make eye contact to people you don't know. Finns usually just sort of pretend the other person isn't even there. We value our "personal space", but I can imagine that people from different cultures may feel quite uncomfortable if they're not used to that kind of treatment.
As a Canadian, it's not uncommon for people to strike up conversations in lines, on the bus, etc. It doesn't happen in Ottawa as much as it did where I lived in Nova Scotia, but it happens frequently enough that it's not unexpected. But eye contact on the street is quite common, and when I'm in Sweden that does not ever happen, and I find it very disconcerting.
 
As a Canadian, it's not uncommon for people to strike up conversations in lines, on the bus, etc. It doesn't happen in Ottawa as much as it did where I lived in Nova Scotia, but it happens frequently enough that it's not unexpected. But eye contact on the street is quite common, and when I'm in Sweden that does not ever happen, and I find it very disconcerting.
That must be unpleasant for you. :S In Finland, people hardly ever talk to people they don't know. We feel it's liberating, it's difficult to think of some small talk to say, so we can just stand alone and think about our own things. And it's great for shy people like me, so I don't need to gather up the courage to talk to strangers so often, I can just ignore them, which comes naturally to me. But the negative is obviously that it's easier to feel lonely and disconnected from other people.
 
I'm a very reserved person, but I feel like I'd lose my mind if I was surrounded by other reserved people. That's one upside of Turkey for me, people are quite warm.

One of them was a bit more straightforward, he asked right away if I wanted to have sex with him. I didn't, though.

One of the more prominent pickup artists and Grade A assholes on the internet whose name I won't mention once called a club in Helsinki the place with the easiest girls around. The club got infested by horny losers very quickly and they had to take measures. That dude may have had similar aspirations.
 
I'm a very reserved person, but I feel like I'd lose my mind if I was surrounded by other reserved people. That's one upside of Turkey for me, people are quite warm.
That's another good way of looking at it. :rolleyes:
Finns are also warm, it's just that the warmth is hidden under a thick layer of coldness. ;)
 
If I'm drinking, I talk to everyone.
Oh yes, I forgot about that. :p Not sure about Sweden, but in Finland, people talk to everyone everywhere when they're drunk! I don't drink that much myself, and I hate going to bars, so I have to play by the sober rules.
 
One of the more prominent pickup artists and Grade A assholes on the internet whose name I won't mention once called a club in Helsinki the place with the easiest girls around. The club got infested by horny losers very quickly and they had to take measures. That dude may have had similar aspirations.

Drunken ladies may be quite easy, that's true. :bigsmile: The dude that wanted to sleep with me had clearly lived in Finland for a short time, and heard ladies are easy here, so he thought he just needs to go and ask. It was quite strange actually, because it was a weeknight 7pm. He should have tried late Friday night! I mean, not from me, but from some drunken lady. :D
 
Oh yes, I forgot about that. :p Not sure about Sweden, but in Finland, people talk to everyone everywhere when they're drunk! I don't drink that much myself, and I hate going to bars, so I have to play by the sober rules.
I generally drink at home, never much of a pub person unless I'm out with friends.
 
I hate that it’s considered weird to strike up conversations with strangers. I hate how reserved people are. I constantly try to find contact with people on public transport but some take you for a creep when you look at them. I kinda want to move to a place where interactions between strangers are more common.
 
Not very common to have eye contact with strangers here either. Personally, it makes me very uncomfortable.
 
I hate that it’s considered weird to strike up conversations with strangers. I hate how reserved people are. I constantly try to find contact with people on public transport but some take you for a creep when you look at them. I kinda want to move to a place where interactions between strangers are more common.
What a pity you feel that way, especially as you told you have a hard time asking ladies out in the first place. :( I guess I feel lucky that I'm living in a culture like this, because I really enjoy the fact that men leave me alone in the street, and I need not talk to strangers, which is really difficult to me. But you're right that it's probably easier to find a partner in a culture where interaction between strangers occurs more. Here, one just has to use different ways to get a partner.
 
Eye contact and basic chatter here is normal. As a southern people we're "warm" in that regard. However that does not mean you can easily "pick up chicks". Even that sentence put in our context sounds completely off to me - the girl will be with her mates, everyone has a bunch of friends they go out together with. A solo player eyeing out women in a bar will be deemed as freak 99% of the time. The best you can do is go out with your friends, have fun on your own and if you start something non-verbal with a nice girl you try to merge squads, introduce everyone, etc. The real courtship is still alive and kicking here, don't be aggressive, don't set out to do anything on the night of first contact. I have smiled and got smiles back a million times with people I'll never see again. Just an hour ago a very cute mother was walking her kindergarden-level kid beside a building that's completely repainted apart from a new graffiti saying "Bradaric is a god damn Serb". The kid stops and starts reading...Bradaric...is...a....g...od...damn, the mom stops and says damn boy you shouldn't be reading that, I basically lmao at the complete situation, she smiles back at me. A random moment of totally absurd fun, this kind of stuff makes the day special.
 
Is Tinder huge in Finland?

To follow up my own post, Tinder is 0 here and usually tourists complain about that and the seeming accessibility of extremely attractive females that will just tell them to sod off once they smell the scent of opportunism on the other side.
 
Eye contact and basic chatter here is normal. As a southern people we're "warm" in that regard.
A solo player eyeing out women in a bar will be deemed as freak 99% of the time. The best you can do is go out with your friends, have fun on your own and if you start something non-verbal with a nice girl you try to merge squads, introduce everyone, etc. The real courtship is still alive and kicking here, don't be aggressive, don't set out to do anything on the night of first contact. I have smiled and got smiles back a million times with people I'll never see again.
The above is pretty much true for my culture too, not surprisingly.
 
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