❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

Honestly, the best way to get tips about dating women is to find male friends who have a history of successful relationships. (You be the judge of what success means in this context)

It definitely isn't reading women's magazines, and it isn't asking women about it, either.
 
SixesAlltheway said:
The best way to learn about dating women is dating women
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Saapanael said:
Every once in a while I get into this miserable state of mind where I can't focus on work or anything productive because all I can think about is women. Taking the train and tram to and from uni, seeing dozens of pretty faces every single day, but feeling so disconnected from them. It's a horrible routine for me and I can't manage to break out of it. I don't enjoy anything because I'm fixated on this one thing only. I wish I looked older and was mentally stable so I could get into dating because I'm so fucking tired of drooling over women. I've mentioned getting better at talking to them but I can't wait any longer for anything to happen. I'm drowning in negativity. What a silly rant but this is what I've felt for years and it has come and gone in waves. Some days, the need for intimacy is so strong that I don't want to live anymore. And it's not like everything is 100% shit, there are good moments and good people but I completely lose sight of them when I'm in this mindset.
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Posting this and then disappearing for days Saap, :nonono:
 
JudasMyGuide said:
Honestly, I can't say I relate. Never, not even in those darkest depths of my teenage wangst and feelings I would gonna die alone I probably wasn't this obsessed or this fatalistic. That's not saying there's something wrong with you, but I think you should realise that apart from the one woman that you choose and decide to commit yourself to with...all other women are mostly expendable. (to you, I mean, of course they are human beings) Those others are just pretty faces.
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Which is why I’m frustrated about not being able to have fun with those expendable girls, make some mistakes and learn from them to move on to the right person.
The Flash said:
Honestly, the best way to get tips about dating women is to find male friends who have a history of successful relationships. (You be the judge of what success means in this context)
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Guys my age don’t have a history of successful relationships. The more “successful” ones brag about kissing one and fucking another but they’re just dumb kids.
SixesAlltheway said:
The best way to learn about dating women is dating women. Honestly, just go on as many dates as possible and try not to make it such a big deal.
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I guess that’s the difficulty here.
JudasMyGuide said:
I must say I admire your strength and morality, though. When I was your age, I wasn't a convert yet - were I in such a state like you describe, I'd had probably already gone and bought myself a hooker. And would regret it nowadays.
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I’ve considered that but I doubt a hooker who doesn’t give a shit about you is worth it.
 
Saapanael said:
Guys my age don’t have a history of successful relationships. The more “successful” ones brag about kissing one and fucking another but they’re just dumb kids.
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Get older friends then.

Saapanael said:
I’ve considered that but I doubt a hooker who doesn’t give a shit about you is worth it.
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This is also my reasoning for not having gone to a hooker. It's not a moral issue for me, I just don't think it counts and if it doesn't count, it won't give me the fulfillment I want.
 
Never. I realise that many of my problems stem from insecurity and not taking enough action. What I referred to in my post from a couple of days ago was a state of mind where I'm so miserable that I couldn't possibly bring myself to ask anyone out. When I'm feeling good, I enjoy talking to people and can be very confident but I need to find out how to keep feeling good and not fall into that fucking pit because I can't even look people in the eye when I'm like that. I guess it annoys me how easily relationships seem to come to many young people (though usually they don't end happily) and how much effort it takes me to just stay stable and not overthink everything. All this is probably not worth the fuss in the long run but at this point, it's about making a change and not living with the same dreadful thoughts as years ago, it's time to move on. It sucks that the girl I like most is in a relationship but what can you do, eh?
 
What do you think would happen to you, emotionally, if you asked a girl out and she said no?
 
Saap, do you have any female friends? You can start by spending more time with them or random classmates. Female cousins of similar age, perhaps? Try going out with them, just chatting, observing their behavior, etc. It might help you to stop thinking of the fear you get from the idea of asking someone out.
 
I've made some female friends since autumn (more than ever before, actually) but none to really hang out with. That's actually a big problem for me. I'm looking forward to summer but afraid I'm not going to have anyone to spend time with. Some have boyfriends, most just have other friends and I meet them very rarely. As for girls in my class, most of them are pretty boring. And then there are those who flat-out deny any attempt I make at socializing - either because they hold some kind of grudge against me or they think I'm trying to flirt with them. Whatever, not everybody is worth the effort. I do enjoy any opportunity I get to spend time with girls, but it could be more frequent/systematic.
 
Saap just needs to find a girl that’s into Iron Maiden and John Petrucci just as much as he is.

So do I though...
 
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