Post your own lyrics

Discussion in 'Musicians Discussion' started by Night Prowler, Mar 10, 2014.

  1. Stardust

    Stardust A Blue Sector Mirage

    Misty Underpass (lyrics)

    The fact, the name
    The shame, the hate
    The pact, too late
    To amend my mistakes

    The distraction, an attraction
    To things that could kill me
    Retraction, reaction
    All which should be plain to see

    Anytime my devotion slips
    It comes on strong
    Anywhere the seduction
    Although the pain, I still need more

    To hell with sins, I’ve got enough of them to heed
    Really, it’s just a matter of when they plant another seed

    Widowed from that which I love, the torment is cold further still
    Even if the rest of the world discards me as something mute
    Not a word, just the late signs of regret

    Yet another day goes by, as I grow further from the sun
    Under azure moonlight, I start to cry, any hope I leave behind

    Even when I scoff at the world, cold thoughts sends shivers down my spine
    A frigid scarecrow, bereft of all life, the differences become harder to tell

    In a misty underpass, falling back on the ground
    “Leave this sacred world behind, as far as you know
    It’s blank...”

    It’s killing me dead, four is the time
    That my daily hell begins
    Why should I be wasting my time,
    Searching for a hope that’s never been

    It’s true that I look down on myself
    Why, nothing could remotely be more clear
    Bitter memories of smiles which I have held
    Struggle to find a reason to care

    Help, find me
    Help pacify me
    It’s time to live and learn
    Feel anger
    I know better, than to crash and burn

    The thoughts never leave my mind
    As they’re waiting to decide
    Whatever punishment they’re trying to hide
    Well, I let them go running wild

    But I know there’s more to life than what my empty bottle tells me
    There is a way out of the crystal cage I’ve forged for myself
    So tell me where I can find my shelter
    Tell me how I can let loose from the guilt
    I need to know where they keep my happiness alive,
    Tied to some net, but the spider’s not real
    Not to them

    And how can I keep from deceiving myself
    How can I start convincing myself that life is to be enjoyed
    I need to strike down this pain, make it null and void
    Everything’s driving me crazy

    Even when I beg, you never shut up
    Increasing your self-entitlement
    And letting me know that I’m perfectly useless
    Can’t you use your time, telling me something new

    And I’m sick and tired of everyone lying
    Too difficult to separate from the truth
    Why can’t you stay quiet,
    Oh, Lord, I wanna go home!

    I have no qualms with accepting the facts
    I know I have many flaws that I won’t keep away
    Desperate to find an opening…
    Jump straight through the fire

    Help, find me
    Help pacify me
    It’s time to live and learn
    Feel anger
    I know better, than to crash and burn

    Now, any of the walls I built
    They collapse down into dust
    Any more joys of mine you can kill?
    I’m sure you want to express your disgust
    With me

    The fact, the name
    The shame, the hate
    The pact, too late
    To amend my mistakes

    In this misty underpass...
     
  2. Diesel 11

    Diesel 11 As you scream into the web of silence...

    So I like to write my own music here and there, and came up with this little number yesterday. Can't promise it's top quality content, but eh, I like it.

    The time has come
    He knows that what was foretold will now proceed
    What he knew will soon be acheived
    This child was born to rule

    The time has come
    He knows his flesh and blood is not his own
    What will happen to mankind is not yet known
    This child was born to rule

    I stand alone
    And gaze upon the setting sun
    The sun, it sets on our souls
    And I alone
    I know what I wasn't meant to know
    The demons are ready and waiting
    Satan smiles
    The omen was proof of his reign

    The time has come
    All the evil of this life has become conjoined as one
    And no one yet knows that it marks the end of us all
    This child was born to rule

    The time has come
    I know that what was foretold will now proceed
    What I know will soon be acheived
    This child was born to rule

    I stand alone
    And gaze upon the setting sun
    The sun, it sets on our souls
    And I alone
    I know what I wasn't meant to know
    The demons are ready and waiting
    Satan smiles
    The omen was proof of his reign

    This child was born to rule
     
  3. Diesel 11

    Diesel 11 As you scream into the web of silence...

    I've written a good number of songs since February, but this is the one I'm probably most proud of. Inspired both by Bruce Dickinson and William Blake:

    "And did the countenance divine
    Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
    And was Jerusalem built here
    Among these Dark Satanic Mills?"
    (William Blake 1757-1827)

    To destroy is your only goal
    Robbing the land of its soul
    A glorious polution upon the empire
    A conning of progress we don't desire

    Done in the name of a messiah God
    But what they do is rather odd
    And if God is looking down here below
    I'm sure that He too does know

    There's no productivity
    There's no creativity
    There's nothing but pain and fear

    The dark Satanic mills
    They're coming to take our souls away
    The dark Satanic mills
    Save me, Jesus, to you I pray


    Hell is opening up its deadly jaws
    Satan, he's stirring up the fires
    England's green will be his pit
    You'll drown in the twisting mires

    Can you believe your eyes?
    Believe our earthly demise?
    Blood is falling from the skies

    The dark Satanic mills
    They're coming to take our souls away
    The dark Satanic mills
    We won't live another day
    Looking for the promise of Heaven
    But I'm finding only Hell
    The dark Satanic mills
    Help me, God, to live again


    They're coming to grind me up
    They're coming to grind you up
    They're coming to grind us up
    They're coming to grind us all

    Keep on grinding, grinding, grinding
    Keep on grinding, grinding, grinding
    Keep on grinding, grinding, grinding
    Grind on, grind on

    Grind on through the night
    Grind on through the day
    Grind on till morning light
    Take my soul away

    Keep on grinding, grinding, grinding
    Keep on grinding, grinding, grinding
    Keep on grinding, grinding, grinding
    Grind on, grind on...
     
  4. Night Prowler

    Night Prowler CriedWhenBazzaSued Staff Member

    What about Carcass?


    :p
     
    Forostar and frus like this.
  5. frus

    frus Barbed Wire Hen

  6. Diesel 11

    Diesel 11 As you scream into the web of silence...

    Oh yeah, I've heard it. Good song lol.
     
  7. Night Prowler

    Night Prowler CriedWhenBazzaSued Staff Member

    Don't end up like Steve, Dave and Rod! :p
     
  8. Diesel 11

    Diesel 11 As you scream into the web of silence...

  9. Stardust

    Stardust A Blue Sector Mirage

    Blooming Sunset Resolution (lyrics)

    [Verse 1]

    Pouring river’s turning for bliss, disguised by coarse, serene unwanted great disgrace
    Stirring the cauldron, amounts to the colder contrast, but the rest it slowly burns away
    I turn my head towards the roaring thunder, in which comes after the scarlet pain
    It’s late evening, verdant spiral threatens rumble in what a perfect circle it would stain


    [Chorus 1]

    Climbing up on the edge of the hill
    Standing next to the tree overlooking it all
    Catered to the wavering silence
    As blooming sunset resolution slips away


    [Verse 2]

    Wilted and quilted, I melt with the water which has still yet to run its final course
    Driving a glimmer into depths so far-flung, then replaced with a inky reign of stars
    Gripping the handle, envying the mundane clover with an additional leaf in play
    Steaming with fire pulsating from my open mind, in which the distance is too far away


    [Chorus 2]

    Climbing up on the edge of the hill
    Standing next to the tree overlooking it all
    Catered to the wavering silence
    As blooming sunset resolution slips away


    [Bridge]

    Ashes in the clear, clashes with the rare dewdrops
    Flutters in the air, leaving the grounded fantasy stop
    Above the clouds now


    [Verse 3]

    Impure and stately, two divides collide with the sun, yet only one of them stays awake
    False is the cadence that comes from the aura of spite and sorrowful ingrained
    Senseless resurgence drags down the soul further, the rest cry out in disdain
    Resisting temptation, miracle play draws the curtain, life finds a structure from death


    [Chorus 3/Outro]

    Climbing up on the edge of the hill
    Standing next to the tree overlooking it all
    Catered to the wavering silence
    As blooming sunset resolution slips away

    As blooming sunset resolution slips away
    Blooming sunset resolution slips away
    It slips away…
     
  10. Diesel 11

    Diesel 11 As you scream into the web of silence...

    So I wrote a full-fledged album (actually I wrote two of them, but I'll save the other one for now) and I'm pretty satisfied with it, at least the idea and how I'd go about putting it together. It's probably actually shit but you can be the judge of that.

    Diesel 11 - WELCOME TO YOUR HOME
    Welcome back to your humble abode
    Welcome back to the place we call home
    Welcome back to this apartment complex
    Welcome back to the end of your life again!

    Would you turn me off if I nearly killed you?
    What would you say if the knife in my throat slipped again
    Don't try to twist it around because he's already got it
    Our master will send us all to the pit again

    But you're back and we've the celebrations
    So join in with our lusts and damnations

    Welcome home
    Welcome home
    Welcome home
    Welcome home

    Our minds work as one as we curse the sun from here
    We are the damned and the damnators and we've got it all, yeah

    Now you've come, so stay awhile
    Don't try to run from our inhuman smiles

    Welcome home
    Welcome home
    Welcome home
    Welcome home

    Feel the bodies twist
    The damns collapse
    Feel the curse within
    As you break the past

    Welcome home
    Welcome home
    Welcome home
    Welcome home

    Welcome home
    Welcome home
    Welcome home
    Welcome home

    Welcome
    What are the things that you believe in?
    What are your values? What do you trust?
    Would you care to join me on an excursion
    Past the point of no return?

    I've seen many things
    I've known many more
    I know what's in store

    I believe in hell on earth
    I believe the devil in disguise
    I believe we are all truly damned
    I believe no hand of god for me

    Why do you cry for the light
    When the light can't save you?
    It curses us all in unbreakable night
    And I curse it too

    I've wished many times
    And cried many more
    I know what's in store

    I believe in hell on earth
    I believe the devil in disguise
    I believe we are all truly damned
    I believe no hand of god for me

    I may have had a brother
    I may have been alone
    I will not run away
    I am like the stone

    I believe in hell on earth
    I believe the devil in disguise
    I believe we are all truly damned
    I believe no hand of god for me

    I believe
    I believe
    I believe no hand of god for me
    Screaming in the dark
    No way left to park

    Hitting hell's highway
    Take the devil's bend with ease
    You feel a rush and a roar
    Your body begs for more

    My demons, my demons
    My demons, my damnation

    Hell
    Hellriders
    Hell
    Hellriders

    You've been lying again
    Now you've seen the end

    Hit an open stretch
    Asphalt cowboys from hell
    Ease the brakes off
    And accelerators floored

    My demons, my demons
    My demons, my damnation

    Hell
    Hellriders
    Hell
    Hellriders

    Screaming in the dark
    Screaming in the dark
    Screaming in the dark
    Screaming in the dark

    Hell
    Hellriders
    Hell
    Hellriders

    Hell
    Hellriders
    Hell
    Hellriders

    Scream for me!
    Where are you going my son?
    Off to the fields with my father
    He will never be coming back...
    If I knew then what I know now
    Would I have taken this path?
    If I knew then what I know now
    Would I have felt all the pain?

    Silently an abyss falls
    She's looking past the canyon walls
    Smoke and mirrors always fleeting
    Never once abate and retreating
    I have seen a million smiles
    Carved into a million faces
    I have dreamt of bleeding out
    I have seen no mortal traces

    They drive me on
    They drive me over the brink
    Children of the damned
    They're driving me to the end of my life

    Hope is broken, shattered abode
    Nothing left but solitude
    As my flesh begins to fail
    I know I hear the constant wail
    We know we all have to live
    With our family inventions
    But those are immortal rust
    Despite all the best intentions

    They drive me on
    They drive me over the brink
    Children of the damned
    They're driving me to the end of my life

    Family affairs
    Nobody cares
    No chance for play
    A brand-new day
    Through all the strife
    Through all my life
    Just rot away
    Hell's here to stay

    I've been cursed by the angel who fell
    Is there one who can save me from my hell?
    I feel like a million souls trapped inside
    My mortal, dying, deadened hide

    They ride on...
    They ride into the night...
    Creatures of flame and fire...
    The hellriders of old remain unchanged...
    Would these demonic freaks really stick around
    If we could simply wipe the ground
    Free from its sin, free from it chains
    Now we're living our last days

    They drive me on
    They drive me over the brink
    Children of the damned
    They're driving me to the end of my life

    Family affairs
    Nobody cares
    No chance for play
    A brand-new day
    Through all the strife
    Through all my life
    Just rot away
    Hell's here to stay

    Gotta push the wheel around
    It's emerged again
    From the void that is the human soul
    Now converged again
    The time of destruction takes its toll
    Seeking rest
    But there's no rest for the weary
    A silent pest
    You may never escape its grasp again

    Open house, re-entry is complete
    Seven more come to swipe us off our feet
    You may run but you damn well can never hide
    We'll never know 'til long after they've made their way inside

    I am impure!
    I am impure!
    I am impure!
    I am impure!

    So the wickedness peaks within a generation of these
    And the unclean wander the streets searching for their prey
    You will be down on bended knees, a victim's pretty please
    Woe are ye who never listened to your father

    I am impure!
    I am impure!
    I am impure!
    I am impure!

    I am impure!
    I am impure!
    I am impure!
    I am impure!
    I checked in at room 1046
    I never expected my life to flash before my eyes
    I was feeling down in the pricks
    I never wanted to go through what happened next

    Hell on earth is a place we can go to
    Deep inside the hell that is room 1046

    You couldn't have known
    You could never have expected the events right there
    You couldn't have seen
    Seen the future that was right in front of me

    Hell on earth is a place we can go to
    Deep inside the hell that is room 1046

    Blood on the walls and the voices will never stop
    I'm screaming in my head and I wish I was dead
    Police can't do a thing now, it's too far gone
    I wish I'd have stayed away but now it's all too late

    Hell on earth is a place we can go to
    Deep inside the hell that is room 1046
    Hell on earth is a place we can go to
    Deep inside the hell that is room 1046

    Let the devil be the judge
    From time to time I wonder why
    My life was broken for me
    Nothing to do in this wasteland
    But try to survive
    From the pit I am a-calling
    Won't you come to me?
    Reach for the light...

    Leave me be, let me alone
    I am tumbling for the door
    To find the rime, to find the reason
    What my life's in store
    I can hear the Master calling out my name
    Leave me alone

    From the dawn of time, I've seen it all
    Saw the throne before the fall
    Was I young and wicked
    Or was there so much more?
    I took the left-hand path
    A highway strethcing out for me
    Was I just blind...?

    Leave me be, let me alone
    I am tumbling for the door
    To find the rime, to find the reason
    What my life's in store
    I can hear the Master calling out my name
    Leave me alone

    Oh hear my cry
    Reaching for the light...

    Leave me be, let me alone
    I am tumbling for the door
    To find the rime, to find the reason
    What my life's in store
    I can hear the Master calling out my name
    Leave me alone

    Leave me be, let me alone
    I am tumbling for the door
    To find the rime, to find the reason
    What my life's in store
    I can hear the Master calling out my name
    Leave me alone
    Into the blackness and out of the light
    Seeing them burning on stakes in the night
    They've wrangled with strangers and killed for no gain
    Their utter existence is always my bane

    Welcome to my circus
    Welcome to my distress
    Freaks on a leash
    Keep me out of reach

    I've never known what I could see
    They've never tried to threaten me
    But I feel somewhere around
    Freaks pin me to the ground

    Welcome to my circus
    Welcome to my distress
    Freaks on a leash
    Keep me out of reach

    We ride the wave
    We ride the wave
    There ain't no escape
    From the evil blackness of these knaves

    Welcome to my circus
    Welcome to my distress
    Freaks on a leash
    Keep me out of reach

    Welcome to my circus
    Welcome to my distress
    Freaks on a leash
    Keep me out of reach

    Welcome to the circus
    Welcome to the circus
    Welcome to the circus
    Welcome to the circus
    Welcome to the circus
    Welcome to the circus
    Welcome to the circus
    Welcome to the circus
    Burning starlight over under me
    My eyes were blinded to the truth
    I killed for nothing and never again
    Will I ever know what could have been

    I wrestle with my demons on a daily basis
    I try to fight back, to no avail
    I fall and always fail
    I am the only thing left in my world unknown
    I am the forgotten son

    Home
    Let me go home

    Will I escape my madness?
    Will I know my victors?
    Will I ever understand
    Why they did it to me?

    Can I ever leave this place
    Screaming back in my face
    My soul turns again
    I have the souls of many men
    But they've been forgotten too

    Home
    Let me go home

    Forgotten one
    Forgotten son
    Forgotten one
    Forgotten son
    Forgotten one
    Forgotten son
    Forgotten one
    Forgotten son

    Home
    Let me go home
    Home
    Let me go home

    Never forget the forgotten son
    Reconnection
    Returning now to the source
    Death inspection
    Now it all goes the course
    I've been burning
    Churning in the mud
    Now returning
    And I know I am the last chain
    The last chain
    The last chain
    The last chain

    Unholy
    I am destined to be
    Unworthy
    Of anything of his
    Providence
    Has stripped me of my rights
    Conversion
    Is never in my sights

    I won't get away
    I won't get away
    I won't get away
    I am the only, the last chain

    Burning up in fire falling from the immortal one
    All God's children scream out, dying underneath the sun

    I connect the worlds
    I bridge the gap
    You sacrificed my life
    I am the last chain
    I am the last chain
    I am the last chain
    I am the last chain

    I am
    I am the last chain...
    We reeled you in
    We brought you back
    We took all of you and brought you here
    Nowhere to be
    Nowhere to head
    No one will ever escape from here
    You will soon learn
    You will soon find
    That everything is what it seems
    No easy life
    No easy life
    Welcome to your home!

    Welcome to your home...

    Paradise is burning underneath our feet
    Heading for damnation, no way to retreat
    You've tried to run all your life to no avail
    We've been watching for so long, we know you failed!

    Now as time turns away
    You'll never be again astray
    This will be your immortal tomb
    Down here in hell's living room

    NO WAY OUT
    There is no way out of here!
    NO WAY OUT
    There is no way out of here!

    Screaming for tomorrow but tomorrow will die in the light
    Hell's my captive, my creator, my creation, my only sight

    You won't understand a thing
    Until you put back on your ring
    We all survived for so long
    Do the wrong thing, and you can too!

    NO WAY OUT
    There is no way out of here!
    NO WAY OUT
    There is no way out of here!
    NO WAY OUT
    Jesus Christ be damned by fear
    NO WAY OUT
    There is no way out of here!

    We all have to live with our family inventions
    We all put up with what we're given
    We all die each day

    We all fall in through perpetual night
    Give me your soul, I'll keep it well
    You're damned down to hell!

    Screaming... screaming...
    Demons... demons...
    Freaks... freaks...
    What do you believe?

    I BELIEVE IN HELL!

    NO WAY OUT
    There is no way out of here!
    NO WAY OUT
    There is no way out of here!
    NO WAY OUT
    Jesus Christ won't help your fear
    NO WAY OUT
    There is no way out of here!

    There's no way out
    There's no way out
    There's no way out

    Screaming on your bended knees

    Welcome to your home.......

    And an explanation of all the songs if you're confused as to what it and the album means:
    OK so to best understand the concept of the album, we've got to start with "Princes of Hell". On the day I wrote it, I was in a sort of Paradise Lost (the poem) mood, and was thinking about the fallen angels who followed Satan and were cast out of heaven. And I was thinking of what it would be like to be one of them... but you weren't actually evil and just got caught up with the actual bad ones, and you've been kicked out of heaven and just wondering about how you could've avoided your foolish mistakes all those years ago. It's easily one of the best things I've ever written, IMO.

    I wrote this song as a one-off, but recently I started listening to Accident of Birth and the concept behind Bruce's song - a family from hell is trying to bring back one of their sons, but he doesn't want to return because they're in, y'know, hell. So I was wondering about how you could make this a full-fledged story and started piecing together some stuff. Other inspirations for it were Psycho Motel's Welcome to the World album and The Devil's Rejects (haven't seen it, but the 'evil family goes on a roadtrip' sounded like something cool).

    So I started writing thinking this would be something about a family from hell going on a road trip or something but it quickly fell apart, none of the songs seemed to connect together and it was quickly becoming merely a hell-inspired album. But then I realized how to bring back the AOB concept while using it to make something completely different and, as a bonus, actually add in my old song "Princes of Hell" and suddenly Welcome to Your Home appeared out of nowhere.

    I purposefully kept the concept vague so it could be up to listener interpretation though so I'm not surprised you didn't get it at first.

    So here's the story, song-by-song:

    1. Welcome Home - Demons are welcoming home their deviant brother, who has tried to break away from the grasp of hell, to no avail. Who is this brother, you ask? That's what the rest of the tracks demonstrate.

    2. Beliefs - Our protagonist is a demon in hell, who fell with the other angels who stopped worshipping God and chose Satan instead. However, he really only got caught up in the moment and suffered for it, now damned for all eternity to steal souls and eventually burn away forever. He's basically been living a lie, and the song is both him questioning all that he believed and how he conforms with the crowd.

    3. Hellriders - Just a speedy metallic number about the demons. Nothing too deep or anything, it's just a headbanger, little more, but it helps set the stage so to speak.

    4. Family Inventions - Just an ominous piece to set up the next song.

    5. The Family From Hell - The protagonist has had it with the other demons. It's not the life for him and he really wants to get away. He wishes he could leave but realizes that in joining the rebellion he may have just signed his life away, and now when he's full of regrets it's too late for him.

    6. Demons - It's based on Matthew 12:43-45, which discusses unclean spirits and how when they leave a body, they always return with 7 other spirits. So with that in mind, this is a song that delves into how he realizes he's a terrible being, but wants to find a way out of his eternal damnation; the lyrics foreshadow that he won't find it.

    7. Room 1046 - Based on a real life murder case, it ominously suggests that demons had something to do with it. Who committed the murder, our protagonist or one of his unholy co-workers? We may never know...

    8. Princes of Hell - The protagonist continues to question his existence in the album's centerpiece, calling out to all the other demons to leave him be with their bullshit.

    9. Freaks - The name comes from the iconic horror film, but the song is the protagonist kind of showing his world - basically a circus - to the listeners, and how much it's corrupting him.

    10. Forgotten Son - This started out as a song called "Endless Night", but the more the lyrics progressed, the more I found that the title didn't fit, so I changed it. Basically the demon realizes that God doesn't care about him anymore, no one else does either, his name has and will be long forgotten in the annals of eternity and his very existence is worthless.

    11. The Last Chain - The demon finally realizes that there is no escape from eternal damnation, his one idiotic mistake is now what will be his undoing, and it's the sole reason he can no longer escape from hell and the punishment that's awaiting him....

    12. Welcome to Your Home - The other demons welcome the protagonist back from his little soul-searching and, as there's no way out, no way to escape eternal damnation, he finally resigns himself to his fate. And so the album ends on a dark note, as Satan's in Hell and all's wrong with the world....
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2018
  11. CriedWhenBrucieLeft

    CriedWhenBrucieLeft Version 4.1

  12. Ariana

    Ariana Black-and-white leopard

    I can see the Steve Harris influence.
    I can see the Steve Harris influence.
    I can see the Steve Harris influence.
    I can see the Steve Harris influence.
     
    Mosh, Collin and Diesel 11 like this.
  13. Diesel 11

    Diesel 11 As you scream into the web of silence...

    Like I said:
    :ok:
     
  14. Collin

    Collin King of Listmakers

    Which one comes out first, Welcome to Your Home or Tool’s New Album?
     
    Diesel 11 likes this.
  15. Mosh

    Mosh The years just pass like trains Staff Member

    Alright Dusty Diesel, I'm going to give you some real advice.

    It’s not shit but your influences are pretty obvious. Nothing wrong with being a bit derivative as you’re starting out but you’ll want to work on finding your own voice. I didn't even need to read the explanation to clearly see what inspired you. In the end, you’ll probably end up sounding like a combination of your different influences, but that combination and the way it manifests itself is what will make you sound like you.

    Also, directly referencing another artists’ material once can be a cool homage (emphasis on ‘can’, it’s usually not imo), but any more than that gets annoying. I also think if you’re going to do that, it might be best to go for something more obscure and not as obvious.

    Finally, narrative-based concept albums are fun but most of them aren't good. Even the ones that succeed are hardly flawless. The reason for this is almost always fluff and pacing. Most of the time the artists have the seed of a good idea but because they have to fill up an hour-long CD, they end up writing filler that disrupts the flow of the album and weakens an otherwise interesting story. I'm a pretty big advocate for brevity. I would challenge you to say what you want to say in a trilogy of songs, or even just one song. You like Accident of Birth, which is an album that is pretty effective in this area. There are a few different recurring themes that a more inexperienced writer may have beaten to death. Frankly, I don't need to know anything else about the family from Hell. The one song covered that succinctly. Do you bring anything new to the concept?
     
  16. Perun

    Perun Cheesemäster Staff Member

    I have a question for you Diesel, when you say you wrote this song or you wrote an album, does this mean you just wrote the lyrics with the music in your head, or did you actually write down the whole song?
     
  17. Diesel 11

    Diesel 11 As you scream into the web of silence...

    Lyrics + music in my head, yeah. I don't know enough about guitar and drums and stuff to actually write the music as well, unfortunately.

    Well, I attempted to at least. The family from Hell idea morphed into one about demons and not a family, per se, and thus "family from Hell" becomes a metaphor for fallen angels. So I went into it trying to emulate Accident of Birth's idea but I tried to switch it up a bit so I didn't outright steal it and so that it's different enough to remain interesting for people who would otherwise just get their fill from AOB itself. But I get what you're saying; most of the songs took about 3 minutes to write, which means they'll probably have to go through a bunch of editing down the road, and that's only if somehow I get a chance to release it.

    But thanks for the advice, it's kinda why I even posted it here, given there are a bunch of people who have far more experience than I. When I say I'm proud of it, I don't necessarily mean it's the best thing in the world, but I think I succeeded with what I was going for more than I have with other songs / albums I've attempted in the past. I still have a lot to learn about actual songwriting, so just taking some time to look through the lyrics and then offer up some advice on how to actually bring them in the right direction means a lot. I'll definitely be incorporating it in future when I write stuff and if I go through and edit some of this. I've sung all the songs through and have already found room for improvement in certain areas.

    So yeah, thanks for the advice!
     
    Mosh likes this.
  18. Perun

    Perun Cheesemäster Staff Member

    In that case, do yourself a favour and look for a different way of creative output. Write stories, for examples. Or learn to play an instrument and actually write songs. The hard truth is, these songs you are presenting here will never get recorded. Nobody will be impressed if you approached a bunch of musicians and said, "guys I have this concept album. Here are the lyrics, and then you go doo-doo-doo, you go dadadada and the drums just do this PUNCH!"

    Suppose you decided to take the idea you have and wrote a story about it, short story, novel, whatever. This is actually something people will read, because the medium is writing. If you wrote a bunch of lyrics that are for a song nobody will ever hear, it's just a waste of creative effort. If you write a story, or even a poem, you can show it to people, they can give you constructive criticism and you can improve as an artist - from this very moment on. If you have song lyrics, nobody will really be able to make sense of them because they don't have the context they're meant for. You can tell us all you like about how this goes with this awesome riff, or there would be a cool guitar solo right there - but it doesn't help anybody appreciate the only thing we actually have, which is the words.

    I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I don't see a reason to sugarcoat it.
     
    Diesel 11 and The Flash like this.
  19. The Flash

    The Flash Dennis Wilcock did 9/11

    Speaking from my own experience, I have to agree with Per here.

    When I was younger, I used to write lyrics without being able to write music as well. Even "wrote an album" like you did. Once I started to actually put music and lyrics together, none of my previously written lyrics, even the ones that I genuinely thought would lend themselves into being musical, were usable. Putting music and lyrics together is a massive challenge and it takes some experience to be able to craft songs by writing the lyrics first and then adding to music.

    Per's advice is good, you can take the same ideas and create a poem or a short story. That way it'll be readable, and you can still work on them as song lyrics when you start to write music as well.
     
    Diesel 11 likes this.
  20. LooseCannon

    LooseCannon Yorktown-class aircraft carrier Staff Member

    The other thing you can do is learn some music. Even some basic knowledge of how music works will help in understanding how to write lyrics to that music.
     
    Diesel 11 likes this.

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