Mental Health Thread

[Ascendingthethrone]

Sometimes things come on your path on the right time. Try to find out what you like to do for a living (other than teaching) Maybe there's a great job opportunity near the area you´re planning to move. Hope things work out well man!

Cheers, mate!

 

[Mosh]

Thanks for the response, @MindRuler. I’m glad you managed to get out and find something better.

My frustration is that I work across 3 schools and the behaviour varies across them. One of my schools has excellent behaviour and I just want to be there all week (not realistic).

I have spent over a decade now working in schools in ‘challenging areas’. I have always been about giving kids access to music that they wouldn’t be able to afford. However the kids need to have firm and clear boundaries. They need them. We are failing them if we don’t give them this.

Sorry to hear it. I work the exact same job and similar circumstances. It's rough sometimes even though I believe we are providing something of very high value.

 

[Saapanael]

One thing I hate is when I get fixated on people I don’t like. And then I start to generate that into types of people I don’t like. I’ve wanted so much to become stronger but I’m clearly still fragile. Big gatherings, large masses of people are usually not my thing, but sometimes you have to get out there between the people. And then there’s all this noise coming at you from all sides, people telling you what to do and how to be, it drives me nuts. I’ve done enough to know how I need to be, and no one (unless they know me down to the bits) has the right to correct me on that. It hurts when these are people you’ve known for a long time, and wish they’d already caught the essence of you, but still keep treating you like you’re somebody else. Lately I’ve had so much negative energy from different people, I can’t deal with it anymore. I acknowledge there’s also been positive energy, from one coworker in particular, but the narcissistic assholes get to me. I wish I could ignore them but they get to me.

 

[Black Abyss Babe]

One thing I hate is when I get fixated on people I don’t like. And then I start to generate that into types of people I don’t like. I’ve wanted so much to become stronger but I’m clearly still fragile. Big gatherings, large masses of people are usually not my thing, but sometimes you have to get out there between the people. And then there’s all this noise coming at you from all sides, people telling you what to do and how to be, it drives me nuts. I’ve done enough to know how I need to be, and no one (unless they know me down to the bits) has the right to correct me on that. It hurts when these are people you’ve known for a long time, and wish they’d already caught the essence of you, but still keep treating you like you’re somebody else. Lately I’ve had so much negative energy from different people, I can’t deal with it anymore. I acknowledge there’s also been positive energy, from one coworker in particular, but the narcissistic assholes get to me. I wish I could ignore them but they get to me.

Boundaries, Saap: you've acknowledged that, sadly, it is not possible to completely avoid narcissistic assholes but you've also confidently declared - correctly - that no-one has the right to tell you how you should be. It's not such a massive step from there to refusing to let the narcissistic assholes bother you. One thing I find helpful is to actively pity them for being so pathetic.

Go on Saap - you've got this

 

[Onhell]

Today I got an e-mail I get at least once a semester. A student wrote me saying the reason she hasn't turned any work in is because she's been depressed. She's been going to a psychologist, but just this week she got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. She also stated she is starting to work on it with a psychiatrist this week, but if she can still turn the work in as she doesn't want to fail the class.

Just yesterday and this morning I was talking to my ex and a friend of mine, how I've been struggling keeping my anxiety at bay, it has frozen me at times, but I've been able to push through.

A few days ago a coworker of mine pulled the tired line of how "fashionable" it's become to be "depressed" or "anxious," you know, that "back in my day" bullshit. However it did make me reflect on it a tad and realized that it could be a modern existential epidemic. I too was SEVERELY depressed in my 20s. I failed an entire semester of classes, not just one class. I came to the conclusion that the existential depression in people in their late teens early 20s is due to not having accomplished anything. In previous generations they fought in wars, worked a trade or worked a farm. Physical labor mostly outdoors. Now what do we do? Work callcenters, cashiers, fast food, etc. Not particularly fulfilling jobs. My uncles were working my grandfather's fields as young as 10. They were working MEN by the time they were 14.

I'm not saying the diagnosis of depression/anxiety in someone's 20s are BS, I'm saying they are made worse by being aimless in life. Something that help improve my mental health was finally entering the work force, having something to do. To this day sometimes I wake up thinking, "I don't want to leave the house today," then realize I HAVE TO, because I'm no longer the student, now I'm the teacher and if I don't go to work I'll get messages from at least 5 different supervisors and about 10 concerned students as to why I'm not at work. Once I'm out and about my mood improves. To be fair I suffer MILD depression/anxiety, so I'm not speaking for all cases, but there are basic things everyone can do to help before things get too dark. One of them is leave your damn house, go outside, get some sun, touch grass, do exercise. If you need medication, take it, but as a compliment to all the other things, not in lieu of.

I tell all my classes every semester to be kind to themselves and patient and realize it does get better, to reach out if they need to and that they are not alone.

 

[Onhell]

Don't recall if I mentioned it before here or elsewhere so a quick comment: I will be going on a two week trip to northern Mexico and southwestern US. Here in Mexico our "spring break" is comprised of two weeks, Holy Week and Easter Week. It was a trip that was really stressing me out, but the closer it gets the less stress I feel about it. I will be going with my mom and she has changed plans literally every day. Every. Goddamn. Day. I think this is what has oddly helped me not stress about it and just say, "Fuck it, we'll play it by ear."

The reason I bring it up is that instead of being stressed I find myself full of resentment and anger. I ranted about my passport debacle before and honestly, I'm not over it. Not one bit. Had the fucking U.S government not lost my passport the first time I processed it I could've done everything I'm going to do on THIS trip back in December. This mishap on their part has literally fucked up my entire year.

Moving in with my mom has become a non-negotiable certainty and I could've used these two weeks to completely move out of my place. Instead we're doing what we could've done 4 months ago. When I get back from this trip I have finals to impart, and then I have ONE week to get ready to go BACK to the U.S to work the summer. I could postpone said trip and move out during the summer, BUT I'd be doing that for the nth time. First it was my surgery, then the pandemic, then more surgeries and now I'm going to postpone it again for what? A fucking move? Oh hell no. Then when I return from that I'll have, again, one week before the beginning of the semester. Looks like I won't be able to fully move out until December.

My ex got on my case saying that I do have the time, I just choose not to. There is a bit of truth to that. I HATE moving, it is very stressful for me and I want to do it as stress free as possible. Currently my time is split between cooking, cleaning, working and a Saturday course. The little off time I have I have chosen to spend it at my mom's to start getting acclimated not only to a "new" house and space, but to start getting used to cohabitating with my mom again, for the first time in about 15 years.

Last Sunday I wasn't in a particularly good mood and wanted to lounge a bit, one of those days it takes one a little longer to start your day. Right off the bat she started with, "Mijo, please do this," and "Mijo don't forget to do that," "Oh! and I need you to do this." I felt the frustration started to build up, but I successfully deescalated it by thinking, "This is going to be the rest of your time with her, she's old, you're not going to change any of this, just go with it." Last night when I went over she wasn't home, I make myself dinner, put a show on Netflix. Not even 10 minutes into the show she comes home and immediately launches into "Guess what I did today!" I had to exit Netflix, switched to Youtube and put on some music. Minor annoyance, I'll live. But very important to start experiencing this as again... probably the next 20 years of my life.

Therefore, if I don't do one of these things for the sake of moving it gets left undone. It is (in my mind) a very delicate balance that must not be disturbed or I might spiral into a paralyzing anxiety. I don't think I'll be fully over this anger until I've checked everything off my list regarding my goals for this upcoming trip, the summer trip and being fully moved out of my place.