Mental Health Thread

Do you fear death, dying, etc.?

  • Yes

    Votes: 12 23.1%

  • No

    Votes: 21 40.4%

  • Trying my best to not think about it

    Votes: 15 28.8%

  • Never really thought about it and I'm unable to come up with an answer on a spot

    Votes: 4 7.7%
  • Total voters
    52
Saapanael said:
The loneliness gets more unbearable by the day. When I wake up, I know I’m going to spend the rest of the day alone. I’m 26, friendless, girlfriendless. All I can do is work on inproving myself but a total lack of human warmth in my life is taking a toll on my well-being. I don’t want to live like this.
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Ill be honest id kill for that right now. I havent had a day to on my own since god knows when. Even today, kids at school wife due to be out all day gettinh her tattoo done so i book the day off work. I think finally, ill have a few beers listen to some tunes and chill. Just as my wife is about to go out she gets a message to cancelling from the tatooist. I could cry. A waste of a holiday.

At worst there are 6 people in our house when one of them is back from uni and brings her bf. Seriously preople are overated, enjoy your own company
 
Christopher Baines said:
Ill be honest id kill for that right now. I havent had a day to on my own since god knows when. Even today, kids at school wife due to be out all day gettinh her tattoo done so i book the day off work. I think finally, ill have a few beers listen to some tunes and chill. Just as my wife is about to go out she gets a message to cancelling from the tatooist. I could cry. A waste of a holiday.

At worst there are 6 people in our house when one of them is back from uni and brings her bf. Seriously preople are overated, enjoy your own company
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I know reading posts I’ve made in the past might seem like I’m ungrateful. I sometimes do feel really lonely but I know I’m actually not alone. It just gets blurry for me every now and then and I start thinking worse about things than they really are. I’ve had some bad experiences with people I’ve considered friends in the past and that has left me a bit vulnerable. Human contact is really important and luckily I’ve made a few important choices in recent years that have taken me to good people. And this has led me to know that I should do my best to enjoy this time I have for myself. I hope you’ll be able to find some peace for yourself too.
 
Saapanael said:
I know reading posts I’ve made in the past might seem like I’m ungrateful. I sometimes do feel really lonely but I know I’m actually not alone. It just gets blurry for me every now and then and I start thinking worse about things than they really are. I’ve had some bad experiences with people I’ve considered friends in the past and that has left me a bit vulnerable. Human contact is really important and luckily I’ve made a few important choices in recent years that have taken me to good people. And this has led me to know that I should do my best to enjoy this time I have for myself. I hope you’ll be able to find some peace for yourself too.
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Its always a balance and both of ours are obviously not quite right at the minute
 
While I'm here lol,

I do something similar talking about how I just go to work and back home, don't have many friends in town, etc, etc. So I decided to step out of my comfort zone and signed up for German 1 at the language institute I used to work at. It's something I keep saying I want to do or I'm going to do and never do, so similarly to when I started doing stand-up, it just got to a point where I had to shit or get off the pot. I start this Saturday and I'm really excited. I haven't taken any German in like 20 years lol, so should be fun. I think I have more patience and better studying skills than when I was in college.

Also, met a piano teacher who wants to learn English, I asked her if she was willing to teach me piano in exchange I teach her English and she agreed. We're trying to coordinate schedules. Taking out my coworker on Thursday out for dinner for her birthday to return the favor of her taking me out for mine. So.... things are good lol. No longer bunkered down at home.
 
Onhell said:
While I'm here lol,

I do something similar talking about how I just go to work and back home, don't have many friends in town, etc, etc. So I decided to step out of my comfort zone and signed up for German 1 at the language institute I used to work at. It's something I keep saying I want to do or I'm going to do and never do, so similarly to when I started doing stand-up, it just got to a point where I had to shit or get off the pot. I start this Saturday and I'm really excited. I haven't taken any German in like 20 years lol, so should be fun. I think I have more patience and better studying skills than when I was in college.

Also, met a piano teacher who wants to learn English, I asked her if she was willing to teach me piano in exchange I teach her English and she agreed. We're trying to coordinate schedules. Taking out my coworker on Thursday out for dinner for her birthday to return the favor of her taking me out for mine. So.... things are good lol. No longer bunkered down at home.
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Sounds like you are into some good things here!

Regarding @Christopher Baines post: I get it mate. I miss having my own time. I’ve only got the one kid, but sometimes I just crave having time to myself. I have always been like that. One of the problems I have is work and hobbies blur when you are a music teacher. I don’t always want to play music. Sometimes I just want to sit and read or go fishing. Although I would say I am a great people person, it does take it out of me.
 
Ascendingthethrone said:
Regarding @Christopher Baines post: I get it mate. I miss having my own time. I’ve only got the one kid, but sometimes I just crave having time to myself. I have always been like that. One of the problems I have is work and hobbies blur when you are a music teacher. I don’t always want to play music. Sometimes I just want to sit and read or go fishing. Although I would say I am a great people person, it does take it out of me.
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Yup, my brother's been married for 5 years, my niece is 5, for a little bit over a year he's been coming over to play xbox with me. He's not the sharing type, so we normally play xbox and talk about hockey. On one occasion, however, he did tell me that he told his wife that all he asked for was a little "me" time, that coming over to my place to just relax, have a couple of beers and hangout with me was the only break he got from life. Now, my brother adores his daughter, but she's a little hurricane and can quickly exhaust the most patient of people.

Similarly, a friend of mine in the states has been married for about seven years, has to young kid, loves them to death, but, similarly to my brother, only asks for a little alone time so him, another friend and myself can have a gaming session.

Nothing inherently wrong in wanting some space. Hell, I live by myself and hardly leave my house, because I don't want to deal with people lol
 
Everyone needs time to take care of themselves sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that - no one can say that taking care of yourself is 'bad'.

However, I understand the pangs of conscience - sometimes we feel like we should be with someone all the time because otherwise we fail as a parent or partner. I think we fail more if we are tired, need a moment to breathe and yet we are with our loved ones out of obligation with 50% of our attention. My wife sometimes needs a moment for herself, she takes an audiobook and goes for a walk around our neighborhood, when I need peace I go to my sister's for a beer or read with headphones anc in the office.

I really think that this type of activity should be seen in the category of 'taking care of loved ones and yourself' and not selfishness.
 
Onhell said:
Wanting alone time doesn't mean you hate your spouse/family. It IS a balance.
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Absolutely, of course i dont hate my family but it was a different situation when we got married. Every change in peoples circumstance since then has meant less time to myself to the point now i get non, EVER.

Im not even talking going out seeing my friends, i mean just some hrs in the house by myself. Divorce is very drastic but somethings gotta change as its driving me insane.
 
Meliegree said:
Everyone needs time to take care of themselves sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that - no one can say that taking care of yourself is 'bad'.

However, I understand the pangs of conscience - sometimes we feel like we should be with someone all the time because otherwise we fail as a parent or partner. I think we fail more if we are tired, need a moment to breathe and yet we are with our loved ones out of obligation with 50% of our attention. My wife sometimes needs a moment for herself, she takes an audiobook and goes for a walk around our neighborhood, when I need peace I go to my sister's for a beer or read with headphones anc in the office.

I really think that this type of activity should be seen in the category of 'taking care of loved ones and yourself' and not selfishness.
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I couldn't agree more. Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential for everyone, especially parents and partners. Like you said, it's not about neglecting your loved ones, it's about making sure you're in a good place to actually be there for them. A burnt-out, resentful version of yourself isn't going to be much good to anyone. It's like the old saying, you can't pour from an empty cup. Your wife's walks with audiobooks sound wonderful, and your escapes to your sister's or a quiet read are equally important. It's about finding what recharges you and making it a non-negotiable part of your routine. When you prioritize your own well-being, you're actually investing in the health and happiness of your whole family. It's a win-win.
 
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