Saapanael
Ancient Mariner
You and me both, brother.
Mental Health Thread
- Thread starter JudasMyGuide
- Start date
JudasMyGuide
Ancient Mariner
A word to the wise from your resident doomer -
Each time I feel that way, I get off the internet. And stop feeding myself "news". It does wonders to your mind.
Also, guys, quit porn... if you're able to.
Each time I feel that way, I get off the internet. And stop feeding myself "news". It does wonders to your mind.
Also, guys, quit porn... if you're able to.
Saapanael
Ancient Mariner
That is true.
What does one have to do with the other?
gazda
Ancient Mariner
Since I am spending 6-7 months per year on vessel and my internet is very limited I am staying away of news and media.
When I am back home I observe that media is overloading people with bad news and informations and it gives a lot of stress. I am feeling so relife when I am at sea and staying out of that toxic way of internet and TV media.
Last year my first son was born, I missd birth because I was on vessel. Company did not wanted to send me home even I finished my contract. I was very close to get mental breakdown because I felt guilty since I left my wife alone all that pregenant period and childbirth.
Metal music and gym saved me to released the stress.
When I am back home I observe that media is overloading people with bad news and informations and it gives a lot of stress. I am feeling so relife when I am at sea and staying out of that toxic way of internet and TV media.
Last year my first son was born, I missd birth because I was on vessel. Company did not wanted to send me home even I finished my contract. I was very close to get mental breakdown because I felt guilty since I left my wife alone all that pregenant period and childbirth.
Metal music and gym saved me to released the stress.
I quit porn every day, don't worry
I've had such an amazing weekend, so I'm feeling extra depressed today. It's like today can't live up to the awesomeness of the weekend, and I'm feeling extra down. Does that make sense?
Azas
ELF
Yes it does. It's a common thing. I know this feeling too. You were in paradise and now back to grey of daily routine.
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Edington
Last Son of The Miracle
I feel silly talking about this when others here have had some real problems recently, but some things have hit me a bit hard over the past week or so:
Thought things were really picking up for me this year, but I'm feeling like I'm slowly heading back towards square one.
- I'm already getting bored in my new job.
- Things happen on the music front, then for various reasons they don't happen. I've had a few gigs and bands go nowhere recently.
- Things aren't moving forward with the girl I'm interested in, I think I need to finally admit defeat and walk away.
- I almost cried twice today (kinda self-inflicted, some songs on the radio struck a nerve with me).
- Also my back hurts.
Thought things were really picking up for me this year, but I'm feeling like I'm slowly heading back towards square one.
Saapanael
Ancient Mariner
Job: can’t help with that one.
Music: band issues can be mentally very taxing, I know. Keep at it, but also try not to take band-making as a “do or die” activity, just use the opportunities you get and broaden your own musical horizons when there’s nobody else to play music with. The world is full of mediocre musicians, and most of the time we are forced to play with them, but strive for more, for your own true musical ambitions.
Girl: it never works out, does it. Screw it, girls are not worth the trouble, except “the one” that we’ll meet somewhere on our path.
Crying: don’t “almost” do it, do it for real! Let those tears fall. I feel like crying when something strikes a nerve (situations in daily life, like when I catch a parent unjustly scolding a child) and I praise myself for being able to feel deep emotions.
Back: move your butt. The more I slouch at the computer or at work, the more my back hurts. Fight the pain, be active and your back will thank you for it. I’ve had neck, shoulder and back pains forever, I know what it’s like.
Edington
Last Son of The Miracle
Things will pick up. It's more a lack of work than the job itself, I'm not the only one in this position, our seniors are aware and I'm sure they won't let us have nothing to do. It's just frustrating to have gone from feeling this way in my last job, to feeling as though things were better in the new one, only to come down again. But, it's still a major improvement over the last place.
This is all very sound. I'm in a good place as I'm treating it as a hobby, not trying to make a career of it, but it is still draining when things don't pick up. But, it's still experience and networking, hopefully someone I play with will remember me.
I guess I just got too caught up in the idea, she's the first girl to come along for a while and I was getting quite a bit of encouragement from my friends over going out with her, made me feel I was doing the right thing, or they were seeing something I was missing. I hate feeling like I'm giving up, especially as I don't know for definite that she's not interested, but it's better for myself that I do. Actually, one of the reasons I welled up today was because I heard these lines and they made me think of her:
You may find out that your self-doubt means nothing was ever there,
You can't go forcing something if it's just not right.
Again, sound. The pain's started since I started the new job, spending most of my day driving and, especially now things have slowed down, not getting out the van much. I should take more breaks from sitting inside, plus it'd kill more time during my slow day.
Both of you - boredom! Try something new, go some place new, or look for a job/career with more mental stimulation
Saapanael
Ancient Mariner
It’s deeper than boredom. There are things I cannot solve with my own wits and actions, and I will seek help to fix them. So much crap has accumulated in my head that I can’t deal with it anymore. As I am writing this, I am feeling very stable, not happy but stable, whereas yesterday I had uncontrollable bouts of anger and crying throughout the day. Lately I’ve been devoid of any energy, no matter how much I sleep. That is, the mental stuff is taking on physical symptoms more and more. I have suicidal thoughts almost every day. I am rethinking job/career opportunities, as you suggested, I am planning to study something entirely new starting September, but the worst part of my mentality has to be dealt with to move on in life. The parasite inside me has been there for many years, sometimes more apparent, sometimes less, but it has never gone away, I’ve carried it inside me through everything. And right now the parasite is close to taking control of its host, suffocating it with an endless string of black thoughts, leaving it to deem any chance of redemption hopeless and driving it to end its existence.
JudasMyGuide
Ancient Mariner
Sorry to hear that. That doesn't sound good and since I gather you really mean it and it's not an exaggeration of some sort, it feels rather inappropriate to respond to this, counter this or try to respond properly in the forum format.
So maybe just this - I know the feeling is real and tangible, but it's a lie you're being whispered. It's a battle that's worth fighting and can be won. Nobody can see your inside, but you can't see yourself from the outside as well, much as you might feel like you do. You are among the nicest blokes I know, very much worth knowing. Never stop seeking help until you're helped.
If you wanted to talk any time, you know where to find me.
So maybe just this - I know the feeling is real and tangible, but it's a lie you're being whispered. It's a battle that's worth fighting and can be won. Nobody can see your inside, but you can't see yourself from the outside as well, much as you might feel like you do. You are among the nicest blokes I know, very much worth knowing. Never stop seeking help until you're helped.
If you wanted to talk any time, you know where to find me.
The_7th_one
Ancient Mariner
Try to find some good therapist that can help you with these feelings @Saapanael . I think you're lost in a spiral of thoughts that it could be difficult to escape for yourself.
I think you are frustrated with yourself and with your way of life and you don't know how to change because the thoughts comes to you like a wheel and it's like a fog, You can't watch clear because the fog is so thick…. However if you think that you can do something good for yourself try to start to create a bunch of healthy habits I think you would walking for the right path. I know it could be easy to say but there's no other way.
Try to get fit and train your body everyday. Get out of your home and take a walk, get a bike and ride everywhere, if you have time enough to have a dog, get one because this will force to get out of your home to walk the dog 3 or 4 times everyday. You know? You will know a lot of people with dogs walking around in the parks, because these animals always want to play together and this help to know the owners. I have a friend who get a dog one year ago and he knows a lot of people now and let me tell you something the girls approach you to know your dog and talk with you. It helps a lot. You can get an interesting book with you and sit down in the park. People will want to know what book is.
Forget the social media and internet, mobile phone included . Stay away from them. Have a digital diet and use them a couple of hours a day. You can do a bunch of other healthy and much more interesting activities.
Try to learn a recipe for lunch every week. Cook it.
Go to Museums, Go to the cinema to watch a movie. I know a guy who worked with that he used to go to the cinema every Wednesday (Alone) he wanted to disconnect from life a couple of hours and watch a movie, Later he drinks a coffee and turned on of life again. It turned into an interesting habit. He didn't allow anybody, anything on wednesday because it was his time, only for him, time to stay alone with himself (Peace of Mind you know)
Go to the pool to swim a couple of days a week get a book and read later, get a coffee or whatever.
Join a sport or hobby that you can learn with more people.
Take one day a week to hike in the countryside, plan a route, or you can travel to other closer cities to learn about them and stay away from your place where you live just to view it with other point of view. When you stay too much time in the same place you cannot see it as it is and don't appreciate it.
Stay way from these feelings of boredom, depression, anger, frustration and the other thing I don't want to name.
As @JudasMyGuide said if you want to talk we're here to talk with you my friend.
Azas
ELF
When I feel exhausted mentally (not so bad like You, but yet straining) I go for a long walk. Please, try it. I walk in circles through the city's park. 2 circles - around 8-9 km. Nature has very good effect on me. One important moment: when you strolling through the park, try to be outside mentally. Try to notice how beautiful and lush trees are, try to hear voices of birds, notice rays of sun, etc. In other words, try not to think about your current problems, not to cook in those juices of strain, the effect on your tired mind will be much better. After a first walk you may not notice some very visible effect, but at any cost, try to make it your routine. Walk as often as you can (at least 3-4 times a week and minimum 5 km) You will notice changes, I did. Also, I try to walk fast. Sometimes, very fast. It's not running, but fast walking. I am sure you know, there is saying that physical activity helps to minimize or at least, reduce mental stress. Show the middle finger to your inner demons. Good luck!
edit: if you will go for a walk. No headphones. Be outside.
Also, maybe... you listen too much extreme music, - this may be a stupid thing to say on a metal forum - but if you do, i'd suggest to stop it for a while. To clear your thoughts and mind.
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JudasMyGuide
Ancient Mariner
I am very friendly towards alcohol in general, but I absolutely agree here. I actually did use it a bit with my anxiety attacks and it was a colossaly stupid idea - it didn't make me an alcoholic, but it just as well might have. Also, with anxiety it's probably the only situation where it might actually help - much as you shouldn't do it anyway - but with depression and other issues it's really flirting with disaster. Not kidding, not exaggerating.
Needless to say, weed is even worse, since it has a higher rate of starting off serious mental health issues. Let alone other drugs. Just leave it be.
In fact, even freakin' caffeine or too much sugar/saccharides can be detrimental, because it throws the physical rhythm of your body off balance. Wifey does a caffeine detox every once in a while and (after the withdrawal symptoms stop) it really improves her mood, energy, cognitive functions and so on.
JudasMyGuide
Ancient Mariner
Actually, back when I mentioned I'd recommend quitting both news media and porn, Loosey asked what do these two have in common.
This is risky, since it'll be unpopular, but I'll follow the previous post with this.
I'll refrain from saying that both (sensational news media with gratuitious violence and fear and porn) are feeding literal waste to yourself, feasting on filth, because it probably won't be understood here, but let's say that the way porn artificially overdoses you on dopamine will throw you off balance really easily. You get a lot of unearned pleasure, chemically induced in your brain, you get the feelings of guilt and inadequacy, which are common and naturally appearing (no it's not just a societal/clerical construct invented to oppress the masses) and the emotional downward aftermath and just physically, psychologically, it's really a bad thing to do to yourself, especially if you have mental health issues.
I read somewhere that Heavy Devy - who definitely had experience with both - said that quitting internet porn was actually harder than quitting crack cocaine and that he was glad he managed it. Thing is, whatever are your thoughts on morality, it simply isn't good to be latched onto anything this heavily.
I guess you can either just trust me or not, but if you're able to quit, it will be beneficial for you. Psychologically, physically, socially. And if you're thinking it's just my religion speaking, there are many secular people who say the same and truly appreciate they quit the habit. Trust me or don't, but I wanted to put this here as well.
This is risky, since it'll be unpopular, but I'll follow the previous post with this.
I'll refrain from saying that both (sensational news media with gratuitious violence and fear and porn) are feeding literal waste to yourself, feasting on filth, because it probably won't be understood here, but let's say that the way porn artificially overdoses you on dopamine will throw you off balance really easily. You get a lot of unearned pleasure, chemically induced in your brain, you get the feelings of guilt and inadequacy, which are common and naturally appearing (no it's not just a societal/clerical construct invented to oppress the masses) and the emotional downward aftermath and just physically, psychologically, it's really a bad thing to do to yourself, especially if you have mental health issues.
I read somewhere that Heavy Devy - who definitely had experience with both - said that quitting internet porn was actually harder than quitting crack cocaine and that he was glad he managed it. Thing is, whatever are your thoughts on morality, it simply isn't good to be latched onto anything this heavily.
I guess you can either just trust me or not, but if you're able to quit, it will be beneficial for you. Psychologically, physically, socially. And if you're thinking it's just my religion speaking, there are many secular people who say the same and truly appreciate they quit the habit. Trust me or don't, but I wanted to put this here as well.