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No. It's not your fault, nor Perun's! I suddenly had it when I thought of the title of that song.

I think of her at the most unexpected moments. It's double but I guess it's part of the process of giving her a place in my heart (it feels better than suppressing it). I just hope I can keep it under control at work (I am home now) because it happens more often lately.

I am grateful that I can share this , once in a while.
 
Associative minds are a terrible thing. Some things that are meant to be nice, pretty and innocent strike bad chords with me, too. Something meant to make me happy actually making me sad is one of the worst feelings imaginable... and then I start hating the world.
 
Tell me about unpredictability... Sometimes I wonder if mankind was supposed to live in a modern society like ours. Looking at it objectively, the amount of unnatural behaviour we have is incredible. The same goes for the things we get used to, and the things we can't cope with. It's almost like a complete reversal from prehistoric man.
 
Per, if you don't mind me asking. How is the research going mate? A while back you spoke of a discovery. Did you share it already with someone at the Uni?
 
Not yet. Upon testing it, it didn't hold up very well, half of it fell apart completely. My research is going on, but I have had some serious problems motivating myself lately. The research work is very tedious, borderline Sysyphic (is that even a word?), and my irregular sleeping pattern is not helping very much, because it effectively only comes down to a few spare hours in the library. Plus, it's the same as always, a lot of other work is amounting, almost crushing me and again, everything is more important than everything else. Today, I'm glad to have a couple of hours to do some of the research. I'm planning to have a turbo-psycho-month in February, where I as much time as possible finishing all the stuff that has mounted up here, just to get it fucking done on time. I just hope I can patch up the discipline for it.
 
Perun said:
Not yet. Upon testing it, it didn't hold up very well, half of it fell apart completely. My research is going on, but I have had some serious problems motivating myself lately.
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If it is of any consolation: From my experience, this is very common among researchers. During my PhD studies, I had nearly a dozen blind alleys that I spent weeks on, which ended up as minor footnotes in my final thesis - if at all. Some of those blind alleys are forgotten, some may be taken up by others. The positive thing is that one may gain some new insight from each and every one, even though it does not end in a scientific breakthrough. In fact, trying and failing is an integral part of research. The end product for yourself is patience and character, which may come in handy in other parts of life :)
 
Not sure how I'd motivate myself when so much quantity is involved but perhaps a good start can be made when you feel more relaxed in the evening, so that the sleep could sink in better.

What would happen if you'd have one or more non-study days, to recharge.

E.g. make a walk of an hour or so in the afternoon, have an early supper, watch an interesting (inspiring!) film or read a book which has nothing to do with the study, all at home early in the evening and hit the sack before 10 pm? Sleep might not come instantly, but who knows the pressure becomes less in a few days.

At a certain point, you could replace one or more of these "relaxing" activities with studying again.
 
EW: Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. ;) Well, I found out some things that are sort of fascinating if you're interested in the sort of stuff I'm working on at the moment. At the very least I'm making sure people won't tell me my work is sloppy (unlike a lot of the stuff I'm reading, actually!).

Foro: Thanks for the advice. I've been doing a few of those things on and off, but I've never really managed to pull them through. Still trying though. I'm taking time off every once in a while, but when I return to my work, it turns out that I really needed that time. Then again, there really is a limit to what I can do.
 
The other day, I was browsing DVDs at a store with a mate, when I came across something that made us both speechless. Literally. We tried to come up with something to say about it, but just kept looking at each other blankly. I don't know how to say it. Imagine the wrongest thing in the world. Exponentiate it by 100. Climb on it. And what you can see from there, at the horizon, is this:

picture_12.php

Seriously, this is wrong on more levels than I can begin to account for.
 
Perun said:
The other day, I was browsing DVDs at a store with a mate, when I came across something that made us both speechless. Literally. We tried to come up with something to say about it, but just kept looking at each other blankly. I don't know how to say it. Imagine the wrongest thing in the world. Exponentiate it by 100. Climb on it. And what you can see from there, at the horizon, is this:

picture_12.php

Seriously, this is wrong on more levels than I can begin to account for.
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Mein Gott.
 
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