Lame and not so lame jokes

knock knock

who's there?

Jethro

Jethro who?

Jethro him down the stairs and I'll stab him with my screwdriver!

(from the show Reno 911- a guy in prison tells it to the cops and then says, 'It's not so much a joke as just something I overheard')
 
This joke is pretty crap, considering i'm Scottish, but it's quite good.

What do you call a Scotsman in the second round of the World Cup?



The Referee of course!
 
What's something funny?
A dead baby

What's something even funnier?
A dead baby dressed like a clown!! [!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
Jack and Jill went up the Hill,
To fetch a pale of water,
Fuck knows what they did up there,
But they came back with a Daughter.
 
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
they each had a dollar and a quarter,
Jill came down with two and a half,
do you think they went up for water?
 
Pee and Poo were playing bingo.

Pee won "Jipee!"

Poo lost "Poo!"
 
Two peanuts were walking down the street and one of them was assalted [!--emo&;)--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/wink.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'wink.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
Two guys were walking down the street. One was named "Shut your mouth" and the other one was named "Can you repeat please?".

Suddenly Shout your mouth was smashed by a flaming fireball from hell. He died.

The question is:

What was the name of the remaining guy ???
 
Can you repeat please?

[!--emo&;)--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/wink.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'wink.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
[!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--] Whats the capital of Germany??

G!!
 
Someone asked a magician "can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?"

The magician replied, "no, but I can pull a hare out of my arse!" [!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
What do you call a Dinosaur that is blown up by fireworks?

Dino-Mite. [!--emo&:unsure:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/unsure.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'unsure.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
What`s red and does no good for your teeth?
A brick.

What`s white, covered with flour, bakes bread, but not a baker?
Well, it is a baker after all.

A guy in a circus is doing some amazing stuff: he is jiggling with a dozen of flaming torches, and does awesome stunts on a tightrope. The crowd simply loves him, giving him a burst of applause. After the last stunt, the guy bows to the audience, and, with a modest smile, he detaches his artifical arm and leg. Dead silence.
A man from the audience shouts: Ah, so that`s the trick!
 
[!--QuoteBegin-balage26+Dec 8 2005, 08:06 AM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(balage26 @ Dec 8 2005, 08:06 AM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]What`s red and does no good for your teeth?
A brick.
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[!--emo&:lmao:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol.gif\' /][!--endemo--] That is actually the funniest joke I've heard in a while! [!--emo&:lmao:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
What is white on the outside and black on the inside?

a black man with a sheet over his head.
 
A little boy to his mother:

"Mom, in the the school someone is saying that I'm nuts"
"Who's saying that sweetheart?"
"The trees and the mice, mom!"
 
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