❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

Met up again at a little social do last night, it was nice. Gave her another ride home and we talked about her breakup, I'm not good at life advice but think I said the right things, mostly just let her vent and get it off her chest. Gist of it is that she knew it was doomed, they had been casual for a while but everything seemed to stop once they made it official, he also didn't try to fight her over it which just reiterated it was the right move, and that he made her realise she does want/is ready for something better.

Before she left she said she didn't have anything going on this weekend so we could hang out. She didn't say that to the others we'd gone with so I guess she meant just the two of us..? :huh:
 
Edington said:
Before she left she said she didn't have anything going on this weekend so we could hang out. She didn't say that to the others we'd gone with so I guess she meant just the two of us..? :huh:
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Might as well, BUT do keep in mind she JUST got out of a relationship. Take cues from her as to how slow/fast to move things, don't rush anything. Whether she acknowledges it or not she's in a vulnerable state right now and it's on you to not take advantage of that. I'd say keep it to coffee, bowling, ice cream, etc for a month or so.
 
Onhell said:
Might as well, BUT do keep in mind she JUST got out of a relationship. Take cues from her as to how slow/fast to move things, don't rush anything. Whether she acknowledges it or not she's in a vulnerable state right now and it's on you to not take advantage of that. I'd say keep it to coffee, bowling, ice cream, etc for a month or so.
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Oh I'd definitely tread carefully. I recognise she could be in a bit of a vulnerable state and I'm a little hesitant myself. Things didn't work out well with the last girl I was interested in so I wonder if I might be looking for something just to make up for that. I'm also worried about misinterpreting the signs, either by getting the wrong impression from her and getting hurt or just missing any opportunities. I'm seeing her on Thursday so we'll see if anything gets mentioned about weekend plans. If so we'll just do something low-key, like you say.
 
Edington said:
I'm seeing her on Thursday so we'll see if anything gets mentioned about weekend plans. If so we'll just do something low-key, like you say.
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Yup, we're going for a walk and coffee. I was gonna sound things out then mention it but she brought it up quite quickly.

Edington has a (kind-of) date. That was easy. :lol:
 
Nice, glad to see someone getting some Ws. I keeping getting Ls. I decided to try the online thing as I rarely go out and I'm too busy with work. One turned out to be a scam who would just ask for money, like... why would I just give you money? We haven't even met. What was hilarious was that I decided to ride it out for a while, to see how long it would take for them to get tired of me saying no. One of my favorite comedians is Joe Lycett who does this all the time. He actually engages spammers and scammers and ends up trolling them. So I figured I do the same. She started asking for like 20 dollars and I said no. The next few messages were around the lines of "how about now?" "um... still no." Then she turned it up to eleven and said she was going to the hospital and needed money for the bills, that she was going to die and needed 6 THOUSAND dollars. I just laughed. I said something around the lines of I don't have 20 dollars to give you, what makes you think I have 6 grand? Not surprisingly she didn't die, but sure enough she stopped messaging me.

Second one things were going fairly well, even agreed to a video call before meeting in person and poof... that very day her profile vanished, so oh well.
 
Edington said:
Yup, we're going for a walk and coffee. I was gonna sound things out then mention it but she brought it up quite quickly.

Edington has a (kind-of) date. That was easy. :lol:
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So this went well... enough.

Never actually got coffee, instead we went to a Christmas market, got some dinner, had a few drinks in a pub, talked a lot, it turned into quite a long day. It was fun, we got to know each other better, we seem to have a fair bit in common, she said she feels comfortable around me (she got a little tipsy, she's a bit of a lightweight :lol:), but relationships came up (again) and she said she wants to take some time to get through her breakup and not worry about a relationship. I don't think it was directed at me, I'm not sure she knows I'm into her (I figured she wouldn't have gone out with me if that were the case) but I took it and know I can't pursue anything with her right now. A little disappointing, but we had a good day and it's nice that we're becoming friends quite quickly.
 
Terry1958 said:
Why do people have fiancées? Why don't they just live with their partner (without being married) and if they decise they want to be married just marry?
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This one confuses me lots. I absolutely understand the being engaged but currently working in different countries/saving up for wedding/waiting for a good time to get all the family together for a wedding etc etc.

In 21st Century Europe, I don't understand so much why people get engaged with little real intention to get married. I stopped buying cards a long time back now, some friends were constantly getting engaged if they'd been seeing someone more than a couple of months. Then they'd split up a few months later. I can only think there are those who treat it as a badge of relationship status.
 
Terry1958 said:
Why do people have fiancées? Why don't they just live with their partner (without being married) and if they decise they want to be married just marry?
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People are obssessed with tradition and protocol. Same thing with proposals and getting silly rings and expensive weddings and wedding dresses, etc, etc, etc. Capitalism.
 
We went out to the pub again last night, I gave her a ride home and we sat in my car talking for about an hour before she went inside. She wasn't in any rush to leave, didn't even undo her seatbelt until she was getting out. Before she left she said she was really comfy and could've just fallen asleep there...

Am I an idiot for not saying anything?
 
Edington said:
We went out to the pub again last night, I gave her a ride home and we sat in my car talking for about an hour before she went inside. She wasn't in any rush to leave, didn't even undo her seatbelt until she was getting out. Before she left she said she was really comfy and could've just fallen asleep there...

Am I an idiot for not saying anything?
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As long as you don't pull a George Costanza you'll be fine lol

 
Onhell said:
As long as you don't pull a George Costanza you'll be fine lol
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I can't recall a specific example right now but I'm quite sure I've done worse. More than once :D

Ok, 1999 a beautiful girl in the street stops me and asks if I could come to her room to show me her drawings. No thanks. I mean it's not like I was scared or I didn't like her or that I was even in a relationship... No thanks!

I know I have even more stupid cases like in the video.
 
Edington said:
We went out to the pub again last night, I gave her a ride home and we sat in my car talking for about an hour before she went inside. She wasn't in any rush to leave, didn't even undo her seatbelt until she was getting out. Before she left she said she was really comfy and could've just fallen asleep there...

Am I an idiot for not saying anything?
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No you´re not. You sir are a gentleman.
You never know how things turn out in the future.
 
Onhell said:
As long as you don't pull a George Costanza you'll be fine lol

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Thankfully she wasn't dropping any hints like that. :lol:

____no5 said:
1999 a beautiful girl in the street stops me and asks if I could come to her room to show me her drawings.
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I would immediately be suspicious if a woman stopped me in the street to ask me to come to her room, no matter how beautiful she was.

MindRuler said:
No you´re not. You sir are a gentleman.
You never know how things turn out in the future.
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Yeah, it would've been far worse had I tried to spring anything physical on her (not that I would, of course). I was more on the verge of asking what was going on between us but kept bottling it.

I'm still very conscious of the fact that she's only recently become single, but things continue to feel very positive between us and she seems to be dropping a few hints my way. I did manage to ask her out to a party this weekend. Just gotta keep taking it day at a time.
 
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Yeah, don't ask that. Just go with it. IF something does happen you'll more than likely be a rebound. So also keep that in mind. If you get friendzoned you can always get out of said friendzone later.
 
Edington said:
I would immediately be suspicious if a woman stopped me in the street to ask me to come to her room, no matter how beautiful she was.
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Well not me, at least not then that's why I mentioned that I wasn't scared. Remembering her how she did it, or her energy I still believe it was a genuine and kind ask. The thing was that when I was 23 things of that nature happened to me on a daily basis, not necessarily women, or that bluntly but at this moment I took it as a normal thing to happen. So I said no as I didn't want to go to anyone's room that moment.
Of course never such a thing happened to me ever again.

@Onhell Fuck I just remembered another one. Paris, Place de la Republique, 2007 there a girl I'm crazy about her for a week or two. I was working there, she was living there. We met /went out a couple of times too much electricity between us, more from my side. She seemed to like me but not as passionately or that's what I thought.
It's afternoon, daylight still and we go back from somewhere, coffee shop, walk I don't remember, anything. We stand in front of her door, she asks me if I want to come upstairs, she didn't even said the word tea or coffee or drink, which is even better in my opinion, she just asked if I want to come upstairs, I said no I must go. I was devastated for days. She completely lost interest after that. And that was the end of an affair that it never really kicked off.

That was a very painful no to say. Even now I felt bad that memory came back. Enough, I'm stop digging :D
 
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