Mental Health Thread

Do you fear death, dying, etc.?

  • Yes

    Votes: 12 22.6%
  • No

    Votes: 22 41.5%
  • Trying my best to not think about it

    Votes: 15 28.3%
  • Never really thought about it and I'm unable to come up with an answer on a spot

    Votes: 4 7.5%

  • Total voters
    53
The loneliness gets more unbearable by the day. When I wake up, I know I’m going to spend the rest of the day alone. I’m 26, friendless, girlfriendless. All I can do is work on inproving myself but a total lack of human warmth in my life is taking a toll on my well-being. I don’t want to live like this.
Ill be honest id kill for that right now. I havent had a day to on my own since god knows when. Even today, kids at school wife due to be out all day gettinh her tattoo done so i book the day off work. I think finally, ill have a few beers listen to some tunes and chill. Just as my wife is about to go out she gets a message to cancelling from the tatooist. I could cry. A waste of a holiday.

At worst there are 6 people in our house when one of them is back from uni and brings her bf. Seriously preople are overated, enjoy your own company
 
Ill be honest id kill for that right now. I havent had a day to on my own since god knows when. Even today, kids at school wife due to be out all day gettinh her tattoo done so i book the day off work. I think finally, ill have a few beers listen to some tunes and chill. Just as my wife is about to go out she gets a message to cancelling from the tatooist. I could cry. A waste of a holiday.

At worst there are 6 people in our house when one of them is back from uni and brings her bf. Seriously preople are overated, enjoy your own company
I know reading posts I’ve made in the past might seem like I’m ungrateful. I sometimes do feel really lonely but I know I’m actually not alone. It just gets blurry for me every now and then and I start thinking worse about things than they really are. I’ve had some bad experiences with people I’ve considered friends in the past and that has left me a bit vulnerable. Human contact is really important and luckily I’ve made a few important choices in recent years that have taken me to good people. And this has led me to know that I should do my best to enjoy this time I have for myself. I hope you’ll be able to find some peace for yourself too.
 
I know reading posts I’ve made in the past might seem like I’m ungrateful. I sometimes do feel really lonely but I know I’m actually not alone. It just gets blurry for me every now and then and I start thinking worse about things than they really are. I’ve had some bad experiences with people I’ve considered friends in the past and that has left me a bit vulnerable. Human contact is really important and luckily I’ve made a few important choices in recent years that have taken me to good people. And this has led me to know that I should do my best to enjoy this time I have for myself. I hope you’ll be able to find some peace for yourself too.
Its always a balance and both of ours are obviously not quite right at the minute
 
While I'm here lol,

I do something similar talking about how I just go to work and back home, don't have many friends in town, etc, etc. So I decided to step out of my comfort zone and signed up for German 1 at the language institute I used to work at. It's something I keep saying I want to do or I'm going to do and never do, so similarly to when I started doing stand-up, it just got to a point where I had to shit or get off the pot. I start this Saturday and I'm really excited. I haven't taken any German in like 20 years lol, so should be fun. I think I have more patience and better studying skills than when I was in college.

Also, met a piano teacher who wants to learn English, I asked her if she was willing to teach me piano in exchange I teach her English and she agreed. We're trying to coordinate schedules. Taking out my coworker on Thursday out for dinner for her birthday to return the favor of her taking me out for mine. So.... things are good lol. No longer bunkered down at home.
 
While I'm here lol,

I do something similar talking about how I just go to work and back home, don't have many friends in town, etc, etc. So I decided to step out of my comfort zone and signed up for German 1 at the language institute I used to work at. It's something I keep saying I want to do or I'm going to do and never do, so similarly to when I started doing stand-up, it just got to a point where I had to shit or get off the pot. I start this Saturday and I'm really excited. I haven't taken any German in like 20 years lol, so should be fun. I think I have more patience and better studying skills than when I was in college.

Also, met a piano teacher who wants to learn English, I asked her if she was willing to teach me piano in exchange I teach her English and she agreed. We're trying to coordinate schedules. Taking out my coworker on Thursday out for dinner for her birthday to return the favor of her taking me out for mine. So.... things are good lol. No longer bunkered down at home.
Sounds like you are into some good things here!

Regarding @Christopher Baines post: I get it mate. I miss having my own time. I’ve only got the one kid, but sometimes I just crave having time to myself. I have always been like that. One of the problems I have is work and hobbies blur when you are a music teacher. I don’t always want to play music. Sometimes I just want to sit and read or go fishing. Although I would say I am a great people person, it does take it out of me.
 
Regarding @Christopher Baines post: I get it mate. I miss having my own time. I’ve only got the one kid, but sometimes I just crave having time to myself. I have always been like that. One of the problems I have is work and hobbies blur when you are a music teacher. I don’t always want to play music. Sometimes I just want to sit and read or go fishing. Although I would say I am a great people person, it does take it out of me.
Yup, my brother's been married for 5 years, my niece is 5, for a little bit over a year he's been coming over to play xbox with me. He's not the sharing type, so we normally play xbox and talk about hockey. On one occasion, however, he did tell me that he told his wife that all he asked for was a little "me" time, that coming over to my place to just relax, have a couple of beers and hangout with me was the only break he got from life. Now, my brother adores his daughter, but she's a little hurricane and can quickly exhaust the most patient of people.

Similarly, a friend of mine in the states has been married for about seven years, has to young kid, loves them to death, but, similarly to my brother, only asks for a little alone time so him, another friend and myself can have a gaming session.

Nothing inherently wrong in wanting some space. Hell, I live by myself and hardly leave my house, because I don't want to deal with people lol
 
Everyone needs time to take care of themselves sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that - no one can say that taking care of yourself is 'bad'.

However, I understand the pangs of conscience - sometimes we feel like we should be with someone all the time because otherwise we fail as a parent or partner. I think we fail more if we are tired, need a moment to breathe and yet we are with our loved ones out of obligation with 50% of our attention. My wife sometimes needs a moment for herself, she takes an audiobook and goes for a walk around our neighborhood, when I need peace I go to my sister's for a beer or read with headphones anc in the office.

I really think that this type of activity should be seen in the category of 'taking care of loved ones and yourself' and not selfishness.
 
Wanting alone time doesn't mean you hate your spouse/family. It IS a balance.
Absolutely, of course i dont hate my family but it was a different situation when we got married. Every change in peoples circumstance since then has meant less time to myself to the point now i get non, EVER.

Im not even talking going out seeing my friends, i mean just some hrs in the house by myself. Divorce is very drastic but somethings gotta change as its driving me insane.
 
Everyone needs time to take care of themselves sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that - no one can say that taking care of yourself is 'bad'.

However, I understand the pangs of conscience - sometimes we feel like we should be with someone all the time because otherwise we fail as a parent or partner. I think we fail more if we are tired, need a moment to breathe and yet we are with our loved ones out of obligation with 50% of our attention. My wife sometimes needs a moment for herself, she takes an audiobook and goes for a walk around our neighborhood, when I need peace I go to my sister's for a beer or read with headphones anc in the office. Picture this: your office is a bustling beehive, but instead of honey, it’s churning out productivity — and a little chaos. Desks sit empty half the week while hybrid workers play musical chairs with the leftovers. Enter UnSpot, the clever desk-booking wizard that turns this mess into a symphony of efficiency. With a few clicks on their phone or laptop, employees can snag a spot next to their work bestie, plotting world domination — or at least a killer project — over coffee. This platform’s hybrid magic squeezes up to 80% more folks into the same square footage, saving your company from coughing up cash for extra real estate. The weekly dashboard is like a crystal ball, showing who’s in, who’s not, and where they’re parked, so teams sync up like a well-rehearsed jazz band. Plus, it hooks into Slack and Zoom faster than you can say “meeting overload.” For a measly $50, your whole crew gets unlimited access. Check it out at https://unspot.com/workplaces/ Trust me, your office will hum smoother than a barbershop quartet on a good day.

I really think that this type of activity should be seen in the category of 'taking care of loved ones and yourself' and not selfishness.
I couldn't agree more. Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential for everyone, especially parents and partners. Like you said, it's not about neglecting your loved ones, it's about making sure you're in a good place to actually be there for them. A burnt-out, resentful version of yourself isn't going to be much good to anyone. It's like the old saying, you can't pour from an empty cup. Your wife's walks with audiobooks sound wonderful, and your escapes to your sister's or a quiet read are equally important. It's about finding what recharges you and making it a non-negotiable part of your routine. When you prioritize your own well-being, you're actually investing in the health and happiness of your whole family. It's a win-win.
 
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The family on my father’s side is full of dumb, simple-minded people. The family on my mother’s side is made up of posh sophisticated art people. Both are equally unbearable. Both parties make me feel awful whenever I participate in family gatherings. Maybe I’m not supposed to get along with them in the first place. Maybe being “friends” with your family members (beyond parents, let’s say) is not a necessity at all.
 
The family on my father’s side is full of dumb, simple-minded people. The family on my mother’s side is made up of posh sophisticated art people. Both are equally unbearable. Both parties make me feel awful whenever I participate in family gatherings. Maybe I’m not supposed to get along with them in the first place. Maybe being “friends” with your family members (beyond parents, let’s say) is not a necessity at all.
I get it, all this "family is the most important" is bs for me. I cant stand most of my family are arseholes and i cant stand them. Should i like them just cos they are blood. Balls to that
 
I get it, all this "family is the most important" is bs for me. I cant stand most of my family are arseholes and i cant stand them. Should i like them just cos they are blood. Balls to that
Agreed, I get along with my immediate family just fine, but I go from "tolerate" to "can't stand" the rest of them. I also don't like socializing much outside of my immediate family. We spend Christmases with my brother's in-laws and extended family. They're fine people, still don't care to see them. We always go their house and I have nowhere to hide when I get overwhelmed, then my mom gives me shit about acting like a brat, then I remind her I'm 41 and don't give a shit, which doesn't go over well so I just sit in a corner until we go home.
 
I’m going through a rough patch at the moment with work. I am full time but only teach for 3 days. The other 2 days I am working on a range of projects for my organisation, which I have to say I am really enjoying.

I came home early from work on Friday after having a ‘wobble’. The kids were not great. They were not listening, answering back and the schools behaviour management system is appalling. The rewards and sanctions just don’t work for the kids in the school.

In all honesty, I feel stuck. I am tired of teaching and fancy a change. However the pay is good and we want to move and have another kid. I can’t just drop the job and look elsewhere. I don’t know what to do.
 
I´m sorry to hear that @Ascendingthethrone .
25 years ago I was an art teacher but the behaviour of the kids (age 12 to 16) was a constant struggle. I didn´t have any authority and needless to say some lessons ended up in total chaos. Here in Belgium the payment isn´t that great so a jobchange was a good decision. My current job isn´t perfect either but at least payment is good, it´s only 1km from my house and I have nice colleagues.
 
I´m sorry to hear that @Ascendingthethrone .
25 years ago I was an art teacher but the behaviour of the kids (age 12 to 16) was a constant struggle. I didn´t have any authority and needless to say some lessons ended up in total chaos. Here in Belgium the payment isn´t that great so a jobchange was a good decision. My current job isn´t perfect either but at least payment is good, it´s only 1km from my house and I have nice colleagues.
Thanks for the response, @MindRuler. I’m glad you managed to get out and find something better.

My frustration is that I work across 3 schools and the behaviour varies across them. One of my schools has excellent behaviour and I just want to be there all week (not realistic).

I have spent over a decade now working in schools in ‘challenging areas’. I have always been about giving kids access to music that they wouldn’t be able to afford. However the kids need to have firm and clear boundaries. They need them. We are failing them if we don’t give them this.
 
In all honesty, I feel stuck. I am tired of teaching and fancy a change. However the pay is good and we want to move and have another kid. I can’t just drop the job and look elsewhere. I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes things come on your path on the right time. Try to find out what you like to do for a living (other than teaching) Maybe there's a great job opportunity near the area you´re planning to move. Hope things work out well man! :)
 
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