❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

____no5 said:
No wait.
Never mind the studies, but if he thinks he's destined to do a certain thing, it will be a grave mistake not to do.
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If he thinks so consistently and for a long time, yes, it definitely would. That's why I said "currently think you're destined to do". Even an actual vocation may be hard to discern and sometimes takes time and consistency to be sure about it. So, just because you currently think that you must do X, give yourself a perspective and do not get swallowed by the idea altogether, especially if you're young (and "young" is relative here - I am also young in that regard), especially if it's "just" a job.
 
I was doing just fine casually talking with this girl at work until a couple of days ago when a male coworker told me he's convinced she's into me, even though she isn't, and now I can't talk to her normally anymore. God damnit. She's a model, waaaaaaaayyyyyy out of my league.
 
Sod it, talk to her anyway. Might turn out to be a good friend, helpful colleague, good practice at social contact, have an attractive friend, or might be into you.

Or just talk to her for the fun of it.
 
Night Prowler said:
She's a model, waaaaaaaayyyyyy out of my league.
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People occasionally get called up to the major leagues from the farm team, even if it’s only temporary. As long as you’re not gross and you treat an unusually beautiful woman like a normal human being rather than a target or a prize, your chances may be much better than you think.

That said, if you’re the dog who catches the car, be ready for the weird side effects of dating an unusually beautiful woman. Watch your coworkers, friends, and family members turn into barely disguised pigs, making up excuses for lingering hugs and letting their gaze land on her way too long and way too often. Try going out and dealing with a parade of assholes trying to hit on her right in front of you, sometimes even trying to directly insult you when talking to her. Live with the knowledge that she has a constant array of alternative romance options, so if she gets disillusioned with your relationship her chances of bailing out instead of working it out will be much higher. But hey, it’s great while it lasts…
 
For whatever reason this conversation reminds me of Leo's dating habits. "Oh she's 25, trade her in"
 
Night Prowler said:
I was doing just fine casually talking with this girl at work until a couple of days ago when a male coworker told me he's convinced she's into me, even though she isn't, and now I can't talk to her normally anymore. God damnit. She's a model, waaaaaaaayyyyyy out of my league.
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1. You're not a grinch. A lot of women would consider you out of their league when they see you.
2. There's no such thing as "leagues" anyway. A lot of very attractive people live incredibly lonely lives because people don't pluck up the courage to talk to them.
3. What do you have to lose?
 
Perun said:
2. There's no such thing as "leagues" anyway.
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Adding onto this: You never know what kind of person another person is attracted to. Lots of people who are considered by society to be ‘hot’ are attracted to other people that society would consider ‘mid’ or worse. Leagues fall apart real fast when it’s just one person’s own personal taste coming out to play.

(And also like I’ve seen photos of you and you’re far from unattractive, sir.)

I don’t think either my partner nor I fit into the societal definition of ‘hot’ (although my partner can 100% pull it off when they go for it). But we’re very much attracted to each other beyond personality because it’s our own tastes and not what society thinks we should have. Very important distinction. Go for it, dude, you never know how far the baseball will fly until you’ve taken that swing.
 
Guys, I'll elaborate.

So I have been talking to this girl casually, because when I first saw her, I already marked her as way out of my league and could be comfortable with her in a way I wouldn't be able to if it was a girl I was totally into. But now that guy ruined my perception of her and I can't be that comfortable anymore because now all I can think of is "is she flirting or is she just friendly?" or "should I tell her this or that", whereas earlier it didn't really matter to me because I wasn't planning on making a move on her.

I think the case with her is that she's too beautiful and therefore way too intimidating for most guys, and therefore she might just be more relaxed in chats with me because I'm not making a move.
 
I mean there's two things here. You don't have to date every hot girl who crosses your path, either. You can just be her friend for the sake of being her friend.

If you're being her friend because you want to get in her pants, then at least make the play. Don't be disingenuous with her.
 
If you want to keep talking to her just casually without feeling the pressure caused by her beauty, maybe you need to seriously take the decision that you will talk to her strictly casually, even if she makes advances first you will not answer back. If you take that decision you will become immune to the pressure.
 
giratina said:
If you want to keep talking to her just casually without feeling the pressure caused by her beauty, maybe you need to seriously take the decision that you will talk to her strictly casually, even if she makes advances first you will not answer back. If you take that decision you will become immune to the pressure.
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Yep, that's the plan.
 
Night Prowler said:
Yep, that's the plan.
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Love this plan. You become instantly hotter by not giving a fuck, whether its genuine or faked. The allure of the unattainable. Be wary though, too much not givin a fuck can land you quickly in the friend zone and its hard to turn a cold thing hot, easy to turn a hot thing cold.
 
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Jer said:
That said, if you’re the dog who catches the car, be ready for the weird side effects of dating an unusually beautiful woman.
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As a chap what has been fortunate to have been with beautiful women in public, I love it. I enjoy sitting back and watching her deal with the advances from guys in bars. When I first started drinking with my wife (now separated, Im single, hit me up, yo) my mates would often come over and say "do you see this? This guy is comin on to her big time." I would reply "so what?"

It was fun to watch her be friendly, flirtatious even and then wait for the inevitable knock back from her. Its a fun spectator sport. And she found it fun to watch me with other women in bars.

The way i see it, if you dont trust the other person enough to enjoy watching them flirt then you need to take a look at the relationship. Flirting is fun, its good for the soul to feel desirable to others within the confines of a monogamous relationship.

Beautiful humans are not to be feared. Nor are they to be exhaulted. Connection is key, for me, looks be damned. Its just lucky if you manage to connect with someone that is like, super hot and shit.
 
Niall Kielt said:
Beautiful humans are not to be feared. Nor are they to be exhaulted. Connection is key, for me, looks be damned. Its just lucky if you manage to connect with someone that is like, super hot and shit.
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Very well said except that it’s not just luck. If your “plan” is not to try, guess what happens.
 
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