❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

So first off, I will absolutely talk to Matt. My plan is to talk to him about everything that happened this coming Saturday, as I feel like it would be much better to have this conversation in person rather than through text.

Perun said:
don't treat Jessica like she's a commodity either of you can call dibs on.
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Completely agreed. The whole concept of calling dibs on a person is ridiculous and demeaning, as if that person couldn't make up their own mind. However, in situations where a friend is really, really into someone, it would be a bit of a dick move to go ahead and hit on that person anyways. Or in cases involving an Ex of a friend, it's always good form to see if that friend is ok with it before going down that road. But at the end of the day, if someone just isn't into you, there's really nothing you can do about it.

____no5 said:
The only thing to regret is the ntsw part, it should have happened, somewhere, somehow, but that night.
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I see what you're saying, but I have no regrets at all that things didn't go further than they did that night. I would much rather be somewhere much more private for something like that.

If I had known that things would progress they way they did though, I would have chosen to go somewhere where we can be alone when we left the bar, whether that be going back to her place, getting a hotel room or something, or even taking an Uber all the way back to my place.

But still, I really don't have any regrets about missing out on taking things further.

chaosapiant said:
Hell, she may have been asking about you while hanging out with Matt.
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You know, you just might be on to something. I'm not going to say that she was asking about me, but looking back on things, I can actually recall a moment early on in the night when she was looking over at me and giving me a look like she wanted me to come over and talk to her, I was just too oblivious to really notice it at the time. But I do think she had at least some interest form the very beginning.

____no5 said:
As for Jessica, don't lose her.
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I really hope I don't. The fact that we hung out until 2pm the next day leads me to believe that there can be more there than just a hookup. I think I'll text her tomorrow and see if she wants to go out for dinner, or something like that, sometime soon.

Niall Kielt said:
Any of you can fuck on my couch anytime.
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If I'm ever fortunate enough to find myself in your neck of the woods, I'll hold you to that!

Brigantium said:
an attractive stranger
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Thanks for the compliment, Brigs! That's certainly a boost to the ego! :) :)
Brigantium said:
she probably went home disappointed.
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...and it's gone. :( :(

:p

Anyways, I'll keep you all updated on any further developments.
 
I mean disappointed only in the sense that she well and truly made the first move and was pretty much turned down for sex. Old style social norms and gender expectations make that one hell of a kick in the teeth!

But in the interests of dream killing, don't take the 'attractive' comment as a compliment - I've never met you and don't have a clue about that :p

Still, I missed the bit about you getting her number. That's quite a big deal.
 
Brigantium said:
I mean disappointed only in the sense that she well and truly made the first move and was pretty much turned down for sex. Old style social norms and gender expectations make that one hell of a kick in the teeth!
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Mr Wick is a rare one, alright. Or maybe not. You mentioned earlier about guys being shit about condoms, well, I have some interesting statistics for you...

Of the last 6 women I've hooked up with, only one has demanded condoms. Personally, I demand and always carry them myself but those numbers suggest that maybe its time we all abandon our preconceived notions and gender expectations. Like, I mean, chicks be rampant, yo!
 
Well you're a responsible guy then - or else a social media influencer for Durex :D

Seriously, though, they're probably expecting a scene or to be booted out if they ask and you don't have any/don't want to use it. Again, mind you, I'm used to nightlife in 1990s Darlington and Sunderland, which mostly consisted of meat markets stalked by neanderthals, and hookups weren't advisable.
 
Brigantium said:
Well you're a responsible guy then - or else a social media influencer for Durex :D

Seriously, though, they're probably expecting a scene or to be booted out if they ask and you don't have any/don't want to use it. Again, mind you, I'm used to nightlife in 1990s Darlington and Sunderland, which mostly consisted of meat markets stalked by neanderthals, and hookups weren't advisable.
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Skyns is my brand, honey B)

Ack, Im not 100% responsible 100% of the time, its easy to get carried away sometimes but I'd certainly never pressure someone if no condoms were available. Thats a total dick move.

I also grew up in the toxic meat market style of world you mention so I know what you mean. Maybe it still is like that. Probably is.

You could be right re women expecting a scene, which is sad but understandable what with many, many guys being entitled pricks when it comes to sex.

That said, one of the women I was with said she hated condoms and would seriously reconsider if I insisted. So I went ahead. Then I got tested and promised myself to be a bit more cautious in future. So basically, my takeaway is that if you tangle with enough people you can flip any stereotype on its head :nana:
 
Yeah, I've known a few women who said it didn't feel right and they didn't like it :( One of them changed her mind after getting a mystery illness and freaking out that she might be HIV positive.

I guess some women in that scene don't particularly care about getting pregnant either, since that gives them a vocation in life. Plus they'd risk waiting around forever to find a partner to settle down and have kids with.

It just makes me very wary when there's that culture of johnnies are for chickens.
 
Niall Kielt said:
That said, one of the women I was with said she hated condoms and would seriously reconsider if I insisted. So I went ahead. Then I got tested and promised myself to be a bit more cautious in future. So basically, my takeaway is that if you tangle with enough people you can flip any stereotype on its head
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I only tested for HIV once, but I hit two birds with one stone. An unkown woman requested me a HIV-free certificate in order to proceed (as you do) and I already had in my bag hahahah a fresh HIV-free certificate from another woman that had requested me the same thing a few days earlier.

I used to be condom hater during my one night stand years. Then as I was becoming more of the monogamic type, condom started to symbolise the "forbidden" so I even liked it for a time.
 
Brigantium said:
Yeah, I've known a few women who said it didn't feel right and they didn't like it :( One of them changed her mind after getting a mystery illness and freaking out that she might be HIV positive.

I guess some women in that scene don't particularly care about getting pregnant either, since that gives them a vocation in life. Plus they'd risk waiting around forever to find a partner to settle down and have kids with.

It just makes me very wary when there's that culture of johnnies are for chickens.
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This woman already has 3 kids over 15 and was on the coil so pregnancy didn't seem a concern, to me.

Aye, thats it, sometimes knowledge isn't enough, it takes a wee personal scare to hammer it home, excuse the pun.
 
____no5 said:
I only tested for HIV once, but I hit two birds with one stone. An unkown woman requested me a HIV-free certificate in order to proceed (as you do) and I already had in my bag hahahah a fresh HIV-free certificate from another woman that had requested me the same thing a few days earlier.

I used to be condom hater during my one night stand years. Then as I was becoming more of the monogamic type, condom started to symbolise the "forbidden" so I even liked it for a time.
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Rubbers used to be a real boner killer for me when I was younger but not now, for some reason. Viagra, probably :rocker:
 
Lampwick 43 said:
Anyways, I'll keep you all updated on any further developments.
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So here are the updates:

I talked with Matt yesterday. There are no issues at all between us. In fact, there were never any issues in the first place. He's truly a great friend.

As for Jessica, things seem to be going quite well so far. We just hung out on Friday, she invited me back to her place, and I stayed the night. :)

Who knows if this will ultimately lead anywhere. Everything is all still very casual at the moment. I'm just going to do my best to live in the moment and enjoy the journey.
 
Lampwick 43 said:
So here are the updates:

I talked with Matt yesterday. There are no issues at all between us. In fact, there were never any issues in the first place. He's truly a great friend.

As for Jessica, things seem to be going quite well so far. We just hung out on Friday, she invited me back to her place, and I stayed the night. :)

Who knows if this will ultimately lead anywhere. Everything is all still very casual at the moment. I'm just going to do my best to live in the moment and enjoy the journey.
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Get a fake tattoo of her name and be like "you're the one!" You know...just for kicks! (don't do this)
 
So there's this girl at work. I posted about it on Slack but the gist of it is that she's been worshipping me at work for like a month or more. She asks for my help often, I help her, then she sings praises like I discovered gravity. She also sings praises about me to other people. I just help her as much as I help anyone else. She got me a really inventive and great Secret Santa gift, and wrote me a whole freaking song in the card. So idk if she's flirting with me or is just super appreciative of my work.

I'm leaving the team and I suggested to my team leaders that she take over my job as she truly was doing a great job since her promotion. I didn't tell her I'll do it in case they don't listen to me and told them they don't have to tell her that I pushed for it. We're not gonna be in the same team next year and teams at my company don't cooperate. We only have one team building per year where all teams show up.

So there's no conflict of interest then. She's way too hot so I don't know if I can pass the opportunity to at least make a move.

So if they confirm that she can take over from me next week, I'll ask her to come to the office so I can share my work. At the end of the day, I'd ask her if she wants to grab a beer/food after work. If she says no, and doesn't suggest other time - I'll take it that she's not interested. If she says yes, but bails after an hour or something like that - I'll take it that she's not interested.

I feel like it's a good plan. I'm such an overthinker.

Also, as far as I know, she hooked up with another co-worker from my team a while ago. It was a one night thing as far as I know, and he's been long gone from the team, but at least I know she's prone to coworker shenanigans :D
 
December 31, laying on the bed, lazy surfing, laptop on my lap and boom NP posting on this thread. It can't get better than that. I'm reading it. No wait, it can! :D

Night Prowler said:
Also, as far as I know, she hooked up with another co-worker from my team a while ago. It was a one night thing as far as I know, and he's been long gone from the team, but at least I know she's prone to coworker shenanigans :D
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Also to one night stands! Perfect!

*Does it qualify as one night stand if you already know the other? :rolleyes: What about if you do it during daylight? :D
 
I’ve been avoiding this thread but time has come to ask for opinions. I thought of writing a long post with a thorough backstory but I’m not going to do that now, maybe in the future. Here is the shortest version:

There is a girl you’ve liked for nearly four years. You haven’t seen her for 1.5 years but she lives in your head every day. It feels like you have to reveal your feelings to her or you won’t be able to move on with your life. You’ve come to think that this is real love you’re feeling, not mere infatuation. There is a chance you’ll see her in the next half-year. Do you…

a) text her you like her?
b) text her, asking to meet up to tell her you like her in person?
c) wait for the natural opportunity to see her and tell her in person?

As said, this is the bare bones version, the full story is more nuanced.
 
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