Onhell
Infinite Dreamer
Haven't seen many of these threads in recent years, but then again I haven't been around as often. At any rate, even with a little over a month to go for the year to end I found myself reflecting on my life since I came back to Mexico.
What I have gotten done:
Even before I got here my goals were clear. Work at the same language institute as my brother and have my own home. That's it. I accomplished that fairly quickly and two years in I not only work at the same institute I have taught in all their programs and all levels except advanced. I am certified to give/grade oral and written examinations for a B1 proficiency level. I also got a TKT (Teachers Knowledge Test) certification which allows me to teach English anywhere in the world. I have also been hired by the state University as an adjunct. All in all let's say initial expectations have been well surpassed.
On a personal note, as mentioned in other topics I am at peace, which oddly is hard to get used to. Sometimes I WANT to be angry or frustrated and am unable to. just last week I marveled at the fact I was doing NOTHING and enjoyed every second of it. Just... sitting on my couch not listening to anything or watching anything, not even thinking... just existing and loving it. REALLY odd, I used to fidget a lot and get bored easily, now... I just am lol.
What I did wrong.
I failed miserably at being a high school teacher. We all suffered, both the students and I. It was straight out of a Hollywood nightmare with no happy ending. Just shitty kids with shitty attitudes who I was never able to reach or teach.
Even though I am at peace and everyday things no longer bother me, old triggers die hard. I am still unable to spend more than 2 hours with my mother, before wanting to strangle her and I have snapped at my girlfriend when she unintentionally touches a nerve an ex of mine has fucked up. I need to work on both of those.
What's next/What I can do better.
I want to become a faculty member at the university and start working on a Masters. I also need to be more organized with my paperwork and deadlines.
I feel the need to make my classes more dynamic. I'm VERY old school, notes and lecture type of guy. I got lots of jokes, so they're not boring lectures, but both, the language institute and the university, want us to be more interactive with the kids. It's hard for me, but I'll work on it.
I need to continue letting go of old traumas and pain. I hate it when I snap, specially if it is unfounded. Going to the next retreat this Saturday, curious as to what I discover now.
At any rate, like I said, I know it isn't exactly the end of the year, but my semester is nearly over and I'm already not posting as much as I used to, between business and leisure trip as well as just not being as connected in general I figured I post it now. Also gives anyone who wants to post plenty of time to think about their year.
What I have gotten done:
Even before I got here my goals were clear. Work at the same language institute as my brother and have my own home. That's it. I accomplished that fairly quickly and two years in I not only work at the same institute I have taught in all their programs and all levels except advanced. I am certified to give/grade oral and written examinations for a B1 proficiency level. I also got a TKT (Teachers Knowledge Test) certification which allows me to teach English anywhere in the world. I have also been hired by the state University as an adjunct. All in all let's say initial expectations have been well surpassed.
On a personal note, as mentioned in other topics I am at peace, which oddly is hard to get used to. Sometimes I WANT to be angry or frustrated and am unable to. just last week I marveled at the fact I was doing NOTHING and enjoyed every second of it. Just... sitting on my couch not listening to anything or watching anything, not even thinking... just existing and loving it. REALLY odd, I used to fidget a lot and get bored easily, now... I just am lol.
What I did wrong.
I failed miserably at being a high school teacher. We all suffered, both the students and I. It was straight out of a Hollywood nightmare with no happy ending. Just shitty kids with shitty attitudes who I was never able to reach or teach.
Even though I am at peace and everyday things no longer bother me, old triggers die hard. I am still unable to spend more than 2 hours with my mother, before wanting to strangle her and I have snapped at my girlfriend when she unintentionally touches a nerve an ex of mine has fucked up. I need to work on both of those.
What's next/What I can do better.
I want to become a faculty member at the university and start working on a Masters. I also need to be more organized with my paperwork and deadlines.
I feel the need to make my classes more dynamic. I'm VERY old school, notes and lecture type of guy. I got lots of jokes, so they're not boring lectures, but both, the language institute and the university, want us to be more interactive with the kids. It's hard for me, but I'll work on it.
I need to continue letting go of old traumas and pain. I hate it when I snap, specially if it is unfounded. Going to the next retreat this Saturday, curious as to what I discover now.
At any rate, like I said, I know it isn't exactly the end of the year, but my semester is nearly over and I'm already not posting as much as I used to, between business and leisure trip as well as just not being as connected in general I figured I post it now. Also gives anyone who wants to post plenty of time to think about their year.