Not as classy as that. 
Rant Thread
- Thread starter Ariana
- Start date
Onhell
Infinite Dreamer
Changing gears a tad. Best case scenario I was just part of an online argument which got deleted, most likely I got blocked, worst case unfriended AND blocked. Either way.... no big loss, honestly. Needs to be noted, I've known this person for over a decade, I would describe our relationship as close. Even with that, if that's how they chose to react, that's on them. Sadly I am forced to paraphrase as, like I said, I no longer have access to the original argument. I know this casts me in teh role of the unreliable narrator, but I'll try to be as objective as possible and will note flat out sarcasm/bias where applicable. On to the argument.
You guys remember the Dixie Chicks!? Yeah, I figured. For those who are unaware, The Dixie Chicks are a country band from Texas. They formed in 1989 as a quartet bluegrass/country outfit and took their name from ANOTHER country album, "the Dixie Chicken." So the "Chicks" in "The Dixie Chicks" stands for "Chickens" and not the sexist label for women, This is important, at least to me, you'll see, hang in there. in the mid 00s they were of the few country acts to openly oppose U.S intervention in the Middle East and during one concert.... I believe in London they went as far as to say they were ashamed they hailed from the same state as President Bush. That... killed their career. Soon after they... disappeared. It was essentially career suicide.
So I'm scrolling through facebook and the above mentioned friend posted an article from Variety (but other outlets have reported it as well) that they were changing their name to "The Chicks." I comment,
"Wow, so considering they are no longer politically or musically relevant, who cares?" She replies, "What do you mean?"
"Well, after they disappeared from their whole, 'we're ashamed' episode, why does it matter?" Note I'm asking about the relevance of the name change and the big press a band that hasn't done crap in 16 years is receiving. This is where she takes it:
"So retreating from public life due to death threats isn't valid?" unfortunately... I take the bait.
"They're celebrities, comes with the territory. Whether their isolation was self-imposed or not, they haven't been in the public eye... Public figures deal with this on the daily, Mala got shot in the face and she didn't disappear, she doubled down, wrote a book and recently graduated from Oxford University, so how is this (the article) relevant?"
"OH, so you're invalidating them and victim blaming."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are, by saying OTHERS responded differently you're invalidating their response to TRAUMA and DEATH THREATS and victim blaming."
"Again, I'm not. Criticism, no matter how tame or severe, comes with the territory of being in the public eye. If every public figure shied away from it we wouldn't have politicians, musicians or youtubers. If they chose to walk away from the spotlight, that's fine, point is, they've been away, that time away has rendered them irrelevant."
You get the picture. She kept misquoting me and putting words in my mouth. A good example would be if I said, BLM! and she coming back with, Oh, so you're saying no one else matters. Nope, didn't say that. That's basically what happened.
At this point a friend of hers chimed in. Can't recall exactly what he said, but he was always polite and fair. He called me out on a couple of things, I stood my ground saying that I've been misinterpreted from the word GO and I simply asked.... WHY IS THIS RELEVANT. He got it and finally said, "They're changing their name because of all the current hoopla, the same way Lady Antebellum changed their name." There it was, the answer I was lookig for. I thanked him for answering my question and keeping me honest with constructive criticism. At that point my friend replies too, "They changed it, because not doing so would have looked like tacit approval." Again, I said, "Excellent, thank you, much clearer now."
What does she say next? "REALLY!? Your entire argument was gaslit, misleading, etc. etc." For those of you unfamiliar with the term, "Gaslighting" is when you pursposefully manipulate and twist another person's reality to make them think they are the ones who are wrong, crazy, etc for the whole purpose of creating dependance. It is based on the Title of a 1940s movie called "Gaslight" in which a husband manipulates the houses gaslights to convience his wife she's going crazy.
I never did that. I merely stood my ground by saying, "I never said that, you're misquoting/misterpreting/twisting what I said." Going back to the BLM example, If I say, "Black lives matter." and she responds with, "So you're saying no one else matters." And I respond with, "I didn't say that." Then she would show me a screen shot of my quote, "Black lives matter, so you didn't say that?" Yes... I said that. "OH! You blatantly admit it!" "Well, yes... I said THAT which doesn't mean what you're saying it means."
Knowing I had to treadcarefully I said, "I'm sorry you see it that way, it was not my intention, but if that's how it came across, I'm sorry."
"IF it came across that way? "IF" is a shit apology."
SIGH
"Well, yes, "if" as in, it wasn't intentional, had I done it intentionally i would apologize for actually doing it, since it wasn't intentional if that's how it came across I AM sorry.".... couldnl't post it, that it had been "deleted."
In short, damn if I do damn if I don't. I noticed this is a huge problem from the left in the U.S they preach tolerance and understanding, as long as you fall in line EXACTLY where they tell you, otherwise you are "dismissing, devaluing, manipulative, etc. etc." She went down a whole road of how I was being insulting to people with mental health issues. I just said THAT was insulting considering I HAVE mental health issues AND I have professional experience in the field, that doesn't mean I'll become a "Yes man."
This is particularly irksome, because she has boasted about being muted/kicked out of trans support groups for doing EXACTLY what I did. Saying something not offensive, being misinterpreted, standing your ground on your point and the other person still not getting it.
Remember how I said "Chicks" deriving from "Chicken" was important? You remove the "Dixie" from your name, to disassociate yourself from the Dixie south, Dixie Line, yada yada, but you retain.... "Chicks" Something only farmers can equate to chickens. You are an ALL FEMALE BAND.... and you expect people to say, "Oh yeah, chicks, like chickens! Clever!" Yeah, not really.
You guys remember the Dixie Chicks!? Yeah, I figured. For those who are unaware, The Dixie Chicks are a country band from Texas. They formed in 1989 as a quartet bluegrass/country outfit and took their name from ANOTHER country album, "the Dixie Chicken." So the "Chicks" in "The Dixie Chicks" stands for "Chickens" and not the sexist label for women, This is important, at least to me, you'll see, hang in there. in the mid 00s they were of the few country acts to openly oppose U.S intervention in the Middle East and during one concert.... I believe in London they went as far as to say they were ashamed they hailed from the same state as President Bush. That... killed their career. Soon after they... disappeared. It was essentially career suicide.
So I'm scrolling through facebook and the above mentioned friend posted an article from Variety (but other outlets have reported it as well) that they were changing their name to "The Chicks." I comment,
"Wow, so considering they are no longer politically or musically relevant, who cares?" She replies, "What do you mean?"
"Well, after they disappeared from their whole, 'we're ashamed' episode, why does it matter?" Note I'm asking about the relevance of the name change and the big press a band that hasn't done crap in 16 years is receiving. This is where she takes it:
"So retreating from public life due to death threats isn't valid?" unfortunately... I take the bait.
"They're celebrities, comes with the territory. Whether their isolation was self-imposed or not, they haven't been in the public eye... Public figures deal with this on the daily, Mala got shot in the face and she didn't disappear, she doubled down, wrote a book and recently graduated from Oxford University, so how is this (the article) relevant?"
"OH, so you're invalidating them and victim blaming."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are, by saying OTHERS responded differently you're invalidating their response to TRAUMA and DEATH THREATS and victim blaming."
"Again, I'm not. Criticism, no matter how tame or severe, comes with the territory of being in the public eye. If every public figure shied away from it we wouldn't have politicians, musicians or youtubers. If they chose to walk away from the spotlight, that's fine, point is, they've been away, that time away has rendered them irrelevant."
You get the picture. She kept misquoting me and putting words in my mouth. A good example would be if I said, BLM! and she coming back with, Oh, so you're saying no one else matters. Nope, didn't say that. That's basically what happened.
At this point a friend of hers chimed in. Can't recall exactly what he said, but he was always polite and fair. He called me out on a couple of things, I stood my ground saying that I've been misinterpreted from the word GO and I simply asked.... WHY IS THIS RELEVANT. He got it and finally said, "They're changing their name because of all the current hoopla, the same way Lady Antebellum changed their name." There it was, the answer I was lookig for. I thanked him for answering my question and keeping me honest with constructive criticism. At that point my friend replies too, "They changed it, because not doing so would have looked like tacit approval." Again, I said, "Excellent, thank you, much clearer now."
What does she say next? "REALLY!? Your entire argument was gaslit, misleading, etc. etc." For those of you unfamiliar with the term, "Gaslighting" is when you pursposefully manipulate and twist another person's reality to make them think they are the ones who are wrong, crazy, etc for the whole purpose of creating dependance. It is based on the Title of a 1940s movie called "Gaslight" in which a husband manipulates the houses gaslights to convience his wife she's going crazy.
I never did that. I merely stood my ground by saying, "I never said that, you're misquoting/misterpreting/twisting what I said." Going back to the BLM example, If I say, "Black lives matter." and she responds with, "So you're saying no one else matters." And I respond with, "I didn't say that." Then she would show me a screen shot of my quote, "Black lives matter, so you didn't say that?" Yes... I said that. "OH! You blatantly admit it!" "Well, yes... I said THAT which doesn't mean what you're saying it means."
Knowing I had to treadcarefully I said, "I'm sorry you see it that way, it was not my intention, but if that's how it came across, I'm sorry."
"IF it came across that way? "IF" is a shit apology."
SIGH
"Well, yes, "if" as in, it wasn't intentional, had I done it intentionally i would apologize for actually doing it, since it wasn't intentional if that's how it came across I AM sorry.".... couldnl't post it, that it had been "deleted."
In short, damn if I do damn if I don't. I noticed this is a huge problem from the left in the U.S they preach tolerance and understanding, as long as you fall in line EXACTLY where they tell you, otherwise you are "dismissing, devaluing, manipulative, etc. etc." She went down a whole road of how I was being insulting to people with mental health issues. I just said THAT was insulting considering I HAVE mental health issues AND I have professional experience in the field, that doesn't mean I'll become a "Yes man."
This is particularly irksome, because she has boasted about being muted/kicked out of trans support groups for doing EXACTLY what I did. Saying something not offensive, being misinterpreted, standing your ground on your point and the other person still not getting it.
Remember how I said "Chicks" deriving from "Chicken" was important? You remove the "Dixie" from your name, to disassociate yourself from the Dixie south, Dixie Line, yada yada, but you retain.... "Chicks" Something only farmers can equate to chickens. You are an ALL FEMALE BAND.... and you expect people to say, "Oh yeah, chicks, like chickens! Clever!" Yeah, not really.
JudasMyGuide
Ancient Mariner
At first I didn't understand your point as well (I don't think they chose to walk away from the public eye per se, if that was insinuated), but I absolutely didn't get any kind of logic behind the reasoning of the other person, so there.
But yeah, my experience with many people from the left is similar - we actually have a professor who's very well known and gets quoted in newspapers and whatever.
And he likes to think of himself as the "new" Catholic, that is, he's progressive, stresses out the importance of tolerance, dialogue, democracy, open-mindness ... well, as long as you agree with him. If you - no, not even disagree - if you cast doubt on something or actually propose something he disapproves of, he totally flips... his... shit. My classmate actually suggested that luxurious lifestyle and having all needs met might not be really good for a person in a spiritual way and that luxury might not be all that beneficial for people in general... and he gone completely crazy, first sarcastically asking whether she would wish some kind of plague on us and then, monologing, through various logical leaps ended up in the place where he said she's obviously the type who would support some authoritative, despotic regime, like Putin or Franco or something. I was completely flabbergasted, to say the least.
I think I kinda miss the pre-post-modernistic meaning of "tolerance" - now it's supposed to be all "I don't think anything about anything and especially about you", but just now I'm reading a historian who's making fun of this (despite being very progressive himself) that in the late 19th century it still used to mean "I am actually very sure about what I think about this and that and you, but I can tolerate you and your different opinions and thoughts".
But yeah, my experience with many people from the left is similar - we actually have a professor who's very well known and gets quoted in newspapers and whatever.
And he likes to think of himself as the "new" Catholic, that is, he's progressive, stresses out the importance of tolerance, dialogue, democracy, open-mindness ... well, as long as you agree with him. If you - no, not even disagree - if you cast doubt on something or actually propose something he disapproves of, he totally flips... his... shit. My classmate actually suggested that luxurious lifestyle and having all needs met might not be really good for a person in a spiritual way and that luxury might not be all that beneficial for people in general... and he gone completely crazy, first sarcastically asking whether she would wish some kind of plague on us and then, monologing, through various logical leaps ended up in the place where he said she's obviously the type who would support some authoritative, despotic regime, like Putin or Franco or something. I was completely flabbergasted, to say the least.
I think I kinda miss the pre-post-modernistic meaning of "tolerance" - now it's supposed to be all "I don't think anything about anything and especially about you", but just now I'm reading a historian who's making fun of this (despite being very progressive himself) that in the late 19th century it still used to mean "I am actually very sure about what I think about this and that and you, but I can tolerate you and your different opinions and thoughts".
Onhell
Infinite Dreamer
Whether it was by choice or not wasn't the issue, the FACT is they've been out of the public eye for 17 years! Sinead O'Conner has also been relegated to obscurity for an act, that in hindsght... she was right to a great degree. The Catholic Church is incredibly corrupt, the sex scandals whether molesting kids or seducing young seminarians is.... very bad to put it mildly. Her timing though... as bad as that of The Chicks. Which makes your next statement even more important.
That is a needle I try to thead as a professor myself. It's ok if a student disagrees with me and I try to engage in dialogue. Unless they're factually incorrect, then I stand my ground. But if it is a social issue, no right answer, only general consensus, then let's talk.
Topics have ranged from domestic violence to racism and representation. I'll use a tame example. Remember when Disney announced Their live action Little Mermaid would be a black actress? The internet lost their shit. HUGE backlash with many people saying the original was a redhead and white and yada yada. I overheard my students discussing it. I played them a clip on youtube of The Hollywood Round table. This particular chat was with minority actors and directors and the idea of representation. One of the guests was Denzel Washington, he said he got into acting by accident and never aspired to be a hollywood actor as he didn't see other black people in movies, he wasn't being represented.
After the clip I asked my students to look around the room and tell me how many "white" people they saw. They laughed and I said, "I'm serious, hou many?" The answer, "2." Everyone else was some sort of shade of brown. Then I ask, "So why do you care if the little mermaid is white OR black, neither color represents you. Look at our local TV. Our biggest industry is the Telenovela and most of the actors, specially protagonists, are white. I want you to write an essay on Representation. Is it important? Yes, No, who cares?." Most cared, but I had a couple who still said, "It's a stupid movie, who cares." And I told them, "that's valid too. You have now made an informed decision on the matter and didn't talk out of your ass based on facebook debates."
giratina
Educated Fool
To me he looks like a nice guy.
Saapanael
Ancient Mariner
10 seconds of hearing him speak would convince you otherwise.
Use Firefox for browsing on your phone as it supports extensions, and there's uBlock origin there too.
Shmoolikipod
Stranger to the Light
I'm sweating and it's hot like hell here in bed.
I turn on the air conditioner.
It's 03:29.
I put the remote away.
The AC automatically shuts down because it's 03:30.
#FirstWorldProblems
I turn on the air conditioner.
It's 03:29.
I put the remote away.
The AC automatically shuts down because it's 03:30.
#FirstWorldProblems
Onhell
Infinite Dreamer
Considering how often people talk about/react to the weather, it really bothers me when TV shows don't address it. Like in Dexter or Jane the Virgin. They both take place in Miami and NOT ONE WORD about how fucking humid it is, clothes aren't clinging to people's bodies drench in sweat, hair always in place. Fuck that.I'm sweating and it's hot like hell here in bed.
I turn on the air conditioner.
It's 03:29.
I put the remote away.
The AC automatically shuts down because it's 03:30.
giratina
Educated Fool
Where do you live ?I'm sweating and it's hot like hell here in bed.
I turn on the air conditioner.
It's 03:29.
I put the remote away.
The AC automatically shuts down because it's 03:30.
Shmoolikipod
Stranger to the Light
Haifa
giratina
Educated Fool
Ah the Middle East, it must be hot, but still first world problems.
Abas
Jester with no tears
Look up Blokada as well.
Lamia020281
Educated Fool
Really hate making new usernames & passwords for all kinds of services!!! I've made three new ones THIS WEEK! University instructions and web pages are complicated as hell, and the instructions were from 1990s or something. And today I had to make a new username to be able to log on a page to be able to cancel an email address I never even knew I had, but which I would have had to start paying 3 euros/month to keep. Damn it!
University instructions and web pages are complicated as hell, and the instructions were from 1990s or something. And today I had to make a new username to be able to log on a page to be able to cancel an email address I never even knew I had, but which I would have had to start paying 3 euros/month to keep. Damn it!
Abas
Jester with no tears
Really hate making new usernames & passwords for all kinds of services!!! I've made three new ones THIS WEEK!
Here's some advice you never asked for: Use 1Password, LastPass etc. for username and password management if you'd like to create an overview for yourself. If not, another suggestion is if you'd use a concept or a ritual for them. For instance, I never have the same password anywhere and I still remember them. My passwords are all Moth3rfuck1n[insert service here].
Facebook? Moth3rfuck1nFacebook
Snapchat? Moth3rfuck1nSnapchat
Gmail? Moth3rfuck1nGmail
etc. etc.
mtmccox
Ancient Mariner
I use similar unique system as Abas, but unfortunately my formula started only with lowercase letters. Then I was forced ot add uppercase, and numbers, and special symbols - so now even know I know my password for every service, from time to time I still have to guess which variation is it. Shit sucks man.