Mental Health Thread

Do you fear death, dying, etc.?

  • Yes

    Votes: 12 23.5%

  • No

    Votes: 20 39.2%

  • Trying my best to not think about it

    Votes: 15 29.4%

  • Never really thought about it and I'm unable to come up with an answer on a spot

    Votes: 4 7.8%
  • Total voters
    51
I’m so out of touch with this world. I thought I got some valuable long-lasting life lessons being away from home for two months but everything seems to have gone back to the way it was before. I’m barely able to relax anymore because every contact with strangers makes me self-conscious. I feel like the world is out to get me on every step of the way. You have to constantly promote the coolest, smartest, most beautiful, most successful version of yourself to be worth anything in the eyes of others who do the same. There is so much bad shit in the world and most of it is invisible to us. Every time you go out you have to prepare yourself for the series of blows you’re gonna receive. That is why I don’t get in contact with old “friends”. I know I’m just going to get hurt again, fuck that. Loneliness is better than putting up with toxic people, but every now and then it makes you boil over and go crazy. Like when you want to simply enjoy the sun on top of a hill but you constantly get distracted by groups of friends who seem to be having a good time together. And you wonder why it’s the hundredth time you’re on that hill alone and jealous of other people’s company. That’s when you know you’ve seriously fucked something up, that you don’t belong here. It’s all in your head, it’s all in your over-thinking confidence-lacking brain and no one else cares that you’re unable to connect with people. It’s animal kingdom and only the toughest survive. Perhaps people like me are meant to succumb to natural selection. I’m not disadvantaged in any way, I’m not physically disabled, but more and more I agree with what professor Farnsworth once said: “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
I often find myself thinking about being a little kid, taking the world as it is without being influenced by emotions on every step. All I can do is make sure that my child turns out healthier than me. Am I ready to have a child? Of course not, but I wish I would. It’s the only thing worth looking forward to, as I see currently.
 
I'll vote once there's an 'All of the above' option.

I'm actually coming up on the three year anniversary of a massive heart attack (6/3/17)

They tell me they lost me twice in the ambulance, had the paddles out.

But honestly, I can't recall any instance when I 'knew I was gone'. Even though my eyes were closed and I wasn't moving, I heard the paramedics talking the entire time.

I also don't recall feeling scared, or happy, or anything, really.

If there is a Heaven like in the Bible, I'd like to get there just to see my Mom & Grammom.
 
Onhell said:
Why do you think that?

I've always found it the other way around. Family and some friends tend to be judgemental, while strangers will either not care or sympathize with a similar experience.
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It was something very heavy for me. I didn't talk about it with my close ones either because it's so personal, and it's past anyways, but I guess you're right saying it's easier with someone who doesn't know you as well... But I swear when the interviewer actually asked about it I almost had a heart attack. I was very nervous about it being mentioned in the interview beforehand.
 
Shmoolikipod said:
It was something very heavy for me. I didn't talk about it with my close ones either because it's so personal, and it's past anyways, but I guess you're right saying it's easier with someone who doesn't know you as well... But I swear when the interviewer actually asked about it I almost had a heart attack. I was very nervous about it being mentioned in the interview beforehand.
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Oooh, didn't realize it was during an interview... that changes things. I've been asked stuff during interviews that were fairly personal. In one case it was appropriate, in the second I'm sure it was illegal.
 
Thanks @Perun. Obviously it was a shock because I wasn't informed until the day before that she was ill. My main concern is for my sister and brother - I can't afford to go to pieces just yet. And I'm so fortunate that my boyfriend is such a rock of support.
 
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