Ariana
Black-and-white leopard
Fine, you get extra points/pints for that.
Let's try and get 1,000,000 replies to this post
- Thread starter The Ancient Mariner
- Start date
You wouldn't want to go to Budapest unprepared. It's a beautiful city, but you don't want to go there unprepared. Unless you avoid any sort of Ottoman architecture. Then you're safe, I guess.
Ariana
Black-and-white leopard
Well, I guess "Southern" is a matter of perspective.
Forostar
Ancient Mariner
*memories return of Perun and Nush making loud noises with cans of beer at the risk of getting thrown out*Bah. We got around that easily!
Forostar
Ancient Mariner
Er yeah, indeed. I forgot how TomTom does this. I think Portugal is too for from Hungary to be in one and the same sets of maps.
Forostar
Ancient Mariner
Err no, but I admit that I was concerned about it.And did we get thrown out?
Gotta go asleep now.... long day tomorrow!
Have a good night!
bearfan
Ancient Mariner
That seems odd, I had a GPS several years ago (I think a Garmin) that I was able to have the entire US on it ... even Hawaii in case I wanted to drive there ... and I was able to add Europe onto an SD card (covered France to the Russian going West to East ... not sure if the UK was included or not)
... and I was able to add Europe onto an SD card (covered France to the Russian going West to East ... not sure if the UK was included or not)
Travis The Dragon
AFTERGLOW!!!
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you three thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you three thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney.
'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could
come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
CriedWhenBrucieLeft
Meme Only Account
I wonder where Tarantino originally heard this joke i.e. if it's a real oldey.