Let's try and get 1,000,000 replies to this post

Cheers, Cornfed. I read all the time, try to develop my style by looking up to great writers. I'm a huge George Orwell fan, actually. But the most important thing here is, that I was skeptical of my story (and not the actual story but the language/style I used) in the first place, the reason why I posted it here. I'm not experienced in writing in English, just Turkish. I truly believe I'm a very good writer in Turkish (and I do use less words with big expressions, I wrote a poem last week which was only consisted of six quadrants, but my explanation for the poem took six-seven pages, etc.) , can't say the same about English, though. Just an attempt.
 
SixesAlltheway said:
I don't know about that. Possibly. I read it as a tongue-in-cheek remark about the nature of the story, particularly the ending :D
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Yup.

I probably was too harsh on the "poorly written" bit, and for that I apologize to Flash. But, my advice is honest and genuine, and bear in mind that I deliberately followed up my criticism with a compliment about the style of writing in the second story, which was indeed much better -- even if you feel the story itself was not.
 
If you want to get more seriously into writing, you should work on your style and phrasing in particular but there is a much more important thing. You need to define who your audience is, who you are writing to and plan from there. Once you identify your niche, you won't have to write 20 pages of explanations. ;)

Also, I don't know how you proceed with writing in English but try to avoid mother tongue interferences as much as possible. Shape the idea in English and think about the most natural way a native would phrase it.
 
Ariana said:
Also, I don't know how you proceed with writing in English but try to avoid mother tongue interferences as much as possible. Shape the idea in English and think about the most natural way a native would phrase it.
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Exactly. That's why I recommended to write in Turkish first then translate it, if you want to make it seem like someone else wrote it. It's the easiest way to write shitty.

In other news, I just learned that more people in Germany speak Russian as their first language than Turkish. I didn't know that. It makes a lot of sense, though.
 
Ariana said:
If you want to get more seriously into writing, you should work on your style and phrasing in particular but there is a much more important thing. You need to define who your audience is, who you are writing to and plan from there. Once you identify your niche, you won't have to write 20 pages of explanations. ;)

Also, I don't know how you proceed with writing in English but try to avoid mother tongue interferences as much as possible. Shape the idea in English and think about the most natural way a native would phrase it.
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About first point : I'm working on them and I actually have a unique style at the moment (if my Turkish teachers hasn't been lying to me). Since I mostly write for myself at the moment defining the audience part seems off for now. Though as long as the critical articles go, I know where I stand.

About second point : I don't plan to work on my writing in English, to be honest. I would certainly run away from translations, though, tried it in the past and they all sucked, Perun is right.

By the way, today (25th) is the last day of the first term of the school here, so I'm going on a two week break. I'm not particularly happy about it, considering I spent the first term sitting on my ass in front of my laptop and not studying (also not going to school a lot, 19,5 unexcused and 13 excused absences in the first term). Bound to change.
 
Three things you may want to consider Flash:
1) Cornfed and Ariana make their living with words; that doesn't instantly make them right, but it should add a significant level of credibility to their comments.
2) If you ask for feedback, you should be prepared to consider it.
3) The audience is more important than the writer. Unless it's for your personal diary, the point of any kind of writing is to communicate. To do that effectively, you have to understand your audience and engage it in a manner they can understand.

You're smart enough to keep up with the old folks, but your age and your certainty about things tends to draw some of us older posters into the trap of big-brother-knows-best commentary. We remember being that confident and how often life proved us wrong. But from where I sit, it's pretty clear we're just trying to be helpful. I think you get that, but I just wanted to remind you.

That's my two cents. Hope it is useful.
 
My only thought here is, regardless of how good or bad the story you wrote was (certainly different to something I would write at least, but I haven't written since school either) - "He won't pass if he doesn't write one, but he doesn't want to". Then he shouldn't pass, simple as.
 
Walking through the city
Looking oh so pretty
I've just got to find my way...
 
No, just singing along to a classic tune.

Tears for remembrance
And tears for joy
Tears for somebody
For this lonely boy


I'm in a surprisingly good mood for having been woken up by dog barking.
 
I didn't have a particularly good sleep. Woke up every half hour or so. That's mean, even by my standards. But I still feel oddly good. All for the better, I've got another long day ahead.
 
So, here's a run-down of the front page of the country's biggest news website:

Headline picture: Veiled women in Egypt facing soldiers
An article about sexual harassment in Egypt.
An article about violence in Libya.
An article about fears for a Taleban return in Afghanistan after NATO withdrawal.
An article about a trial related to the Islamist terror attack in Mumbai in 2008.
An article about Pakistan being a Taleban haven.


On days like these, I can't help but feel that we're being mentally prepared for something.
 
Hmm, this must be in Germany only. The headlined I'm looking at only feature the expected protests in Egypt of those you have listed.
But I also have Mali, the Palestine vs Israel and the UN.
 
It's probably that website only, but still. It's not the first time I've noticed this.
 
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