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The Flash said:
Thanks guys, I appreciate your help. I've come to the conclusion of a long thinking period and decided to go ahead and tell her what I feel. Again, thanks.
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Wait, what? What EXACTLY do you mean by "tell her what I feel"? This needs to be handled right. I'm serious as a heart attack here. You absolutely cannot go up to her and freak her out by pouring your heart out to her. You have to play it cool and just ask her out. Or, if you've known each other too well for such an approach to be anything but awkward, you can be a bit self-deprecating and casual say, "look, I know this may seem like it's coming out of the blue [or whatever Turkish idiom fits the situation], but I've actually been into you for a while and would love to take you out to ___." Projecting confidence is the most important thing at the outset. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough. Confidence can work miracles. Later, if and when the first date or two go well, you can confide in her how long you had been pining for her and agonizing over asking her out -- at that point it will be endearing. But, under no circumstances should you get into that right out of the gate.

I do agree strongly with the advice of the others that you should absolutely ask her out, and soon. I had a similar situation with a girl when I was in high school. I was crazy about her and we hung out a lot, but she always had some boyfriend or another. Then I later found out she had a huge crush on me too and was just waiting for me to ask. You can guess how that felt. Were it not for the fact that I was in a good relationship myself when I found out, I might have been borderline suicidal. So, definitely ask. (Maybe that's why she's cooled to you lately, she thought you'd pounce after she broke up with the other guy, but you haven't done so yet.)

Take it from your elders, you'll only regret it if you don't ask, you'll never regret it if you do, especially if you handle it the way I advise. You do need, however, to be prepared for the "I only think of you as a friend" response, which is indeed a bit of a gut-punch. But, the thing is, if she does happen to reject you, there is a good chance that you'll soon realize she's not the ideal object of your affections that you now think she is. Sounds like you've resolved to ask her out, which is good, but again, how you handle it is critical.
 
Cornfed is right. When I said, ask her out, that is what I meant. Push that stuff about how you feel about her back... way back. Ditch all that "deep conversation" or "looking into each other's soul" crap. Just try to think of something fun to do and ask her if she wants to come along. Don't stutter while doing so.
 
Man that's a long post, I appreciate your help :D

I actually am not going to ask her out. I'm just going to tell what I feel. I'm %99 sure that she knows that I'm into her but what I fear is that she doesn't know what I actually feel about her (the degree, if you will), that it's not just a crush or anything. That's a girl that I know lots of boys has been following and admiring. I don't know if you're into astrology (majority of it is bullshit anyway) but she's a leo, this tells some things about her, I'm sure.

This is the key to this subject, I believe. That she actually knows that I'm into her (not that anyone has ever told her but I really can't hide it), but she doesn't know how I feel exactly.

I can't express all the stuff I've felt anyway, that'd take hours, maybe even days.
 
Flash, I'm fucking terrible with girls, and all of them I screwed (not literally) just because I came with the seriousness too quickly. You need to play it cool, as suggested, and at times even kinda pretend not to be interested. It just makes them more wanting. After you are sure she's yours you can pull out all the true shit, but before it's just playing. I hate this fact, I can't really work by these rules, but I'm sure they are true and proved to me quite a few times..
 
Fucking youth is wasted on the young. I fear you are going to handle this all wrong. You can't tell her the "degree" of your feelings now. You just can't. This can only go badly. Plus, say tell her you're into her, then what? What is she supposed to do? Jump your bones right there? You have to give her the opportunity to say, "yes, I'd love to go to _____ with you," or even "sure, what the hell?" Even if she expresses skepticism or drops the "just friends" line, if you ask her out, you can still follow it up with the line, "what have you got to lose?" You've got to give her an opportunity to try out the notion of you as a romantic suitor. Use the quote I typed above: "look, I know this may seem like it's coming out of the blue [or whatever Turkish idiom fits the situation], but I've actually been into you for a while and would love to take you out to ___." That's IT. Anything more will just freak her out. She's a 16-year-old girl, for chrissakes, she doesn't want a stalker. Ariana, where are you? Please talk some sense into this boy.
 
Bad idea. Do NOT just go and tell her how you feel. I repeat: DO NOT! If you are actually serious about this girl, you are going to do the following: Try to find out what all the other guys who, as you say, are following and admiring her, do if they want to attract her attention, and DO NOT do it. I'm serious. Do not do it, even if it has been known to work. There is a very simple reason why: She's not an angel, even if you see her that way (and if you're anything like I was in your age, you do). She's a kid just like you. She wants to have fun. She wants to do stupid stuff. She wants something different from the same old. I bet everybody has invited her to go have an ice cream or watch a movie. Do something different. As I said, ditch all that crap about being "deep", if you really want to wow her, show her that she can have a great time with you. You can always have "the talk" later.
 
The thinking process of "what" do was lengthy and tough. But the thinking process of "how" and "when" to do seems to have the possibility of being even tougher. I literally couldn't sleep last night thinking about scenarios. That's who I am, sadly. I'm always serious, I'm always a planner, I'm always calm. I'm the exact opposite of people who just want to go-go-go. I want to stay-stay-stay and that has been a huge problem for me.

I still have days to think though, I hope I'll work the kinks out eventually.

@ Perun : You've said that "she wants to stupid stuff". I know. And that is exactly why I think there's no possibility on this. I'm far from doing stupid stuff and she isn't.
 
The Flash said:
The thinking process of "what" do was lengthy and tough. But the thinking process of "how" and "when" to do seems to have the possibility of being even tougher. I literally couldn't sleep last night thinking about scenarios. That's who I am, sadly. I'm always serious, I'm always a planner, I'm always calm. I'm the exact opposite of people who just want to go-go-go. I want to stay-stay-stay and that has been a huge problem for me.
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I'm similar in many, if not all ways. I didn't do what guys suggested, always thought that revealing my true position will magically make her fall for me. That's probably the reason I'm single now. I say do as Hick and Perun advise you, seriously.
 
And you think you're the first person ever to have a sleepless night thinking about a girl? This is the chance to get over yourself. You can of course waste your time getting involved with what-if scenarios (and trust me, you wouldn't be the first one), or you can just go out and see what happens. Honestly.

Look: You can keep on telling yourself that what you describe above is the way you are and that you hate it that you are that way. You will never, ever find confidence that way, however. If you find the courage to actually do something, you will feel better about yourself, even if you don't reach the desired goal. And if you feel good about yourself, you will automatically become more attractive to women.
 
Flash, take it from a girl - DO NOT tell her how serious you are! She is going to freak out, even if she does fancy you, such an approach is just not cool. And under no circumstances let her know that you have spent the last three years of your life dreaming of her.

You should take things slow and give her the chance to think a bit. If you just go there and spit it all out, her (initial) reaction would be to back off. Just ask her out, talk about casual things, make her laugh (that's the key!) and send her home, without talking feelings. Leave that for later.
 
The Flash said:
@ Perun : You've said that "she wants to stupid stuff". I know. And that is exactly why I think there's no possibility on this. I'm far from doing stupid stuff and she isn't.
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Maybe you should start doing some stupid stuff, then. Doing stupid stuff is fun. And you'll never get away with doing it as easily as now. Besides, afterwards you can talk to her about how stupid it actually was. You couldn't do that if you never did it in the first place.
 
Cornfed Hick said:
But, the thing is, if she does happen to reject you, there is a good chance that you'll soon realize she's not the ideal object of your affections that you now think she is.
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In the end, that's what it's all about. A rejection might be bad but afterwards things are more clear.
 
Of course not, it's not even my first time, I've had those sleepless nights countless times. All of your points make sense guys, I'm not arguing. And it really makes sense to talk in a basic kind of way.

I've told my feelings to the first girl I've ever liked right away because I was confident. Not face-to-face though, on the net. Pathetic, I know but it was my first time. It was the only time I've ever felt confident about myself. I don't know why this feeling has swept away in the next two years which is the past two years for right now.

You're right, I should be basic. I've always sucked in being basic and acting cool when I'm actually nervous. People always call me cool but meh, that's more about my level of knowledge mixed up with my antisocialness. :bigsmile:
 
Here's the good news: you don't have to plan scenarios. I just gave you the scenario. First week of school, walk right up to her, preferably when she's alone, and drop the line I just typed. She'll either be excited or skeptical. If skeptical, you drop the "what have you got to lose" line. Keep a smile on your face the whole time. Then the ball is in her court. A very confident, bold move that both lets her know how you feel (but without freaking her out) and forces her to make a decision. Simple.

Your job is simply to figure out what you want to do with her on your first date. And you MUST have a plan for a first date. Shows initiative. So, plan away. I don't know her or you, so you're probably on your own on this one. But keep it simple to start. Agree it shouldn't be a movie -- not enough conversation. Dinner is always a good bet, because it forces her to sit there and talk to you for a couple hours. Maybe have her come over and you can make dinner together, that can be fun. Or, do something active. It doesn't really matter: Anything that lets her have fun and learn your personality. (Important caveat: If she's really good at a game like bowling or golf, and you're not, do NOT do that on the first date.)

By god, I'm making it my mission to get you a date with this gal.
 
See, that's the next thing. People often have a different perspective on you than you do yourself. If people tell you you're cool, then obviously you are cool. Therefore, don't change that. Just make sure you don't burst out in sweat and stutter when you talk to her. Everything should be fine.
 
Pouring your heart out at the first opportunity is selfish, you know. Because you are not taking into account how she might feel, you don't give her the chance to get used to what is happening and because this approach is leaving her with just two options - to get out of it immediately, or to take things as they are - in all seriousness and commitment. It is kind of antisocial, in that respect.
 
Ok guys I really appreciate your help. The words I want to say have just appeared on my head, thanks to you. She's never alone at school so that'd be a problem. Maybe I'd walk up to her and say "can we talk for a moment" or something. Though I don't know anywhere to take somebody so that'd be another stage of thinking.

I'm %100 sure that I won't burst out in sweat or stuffer when I'm talking, I've always been nervous when I'm talking to her but I also always knew how to act cool. Why not now ?

I gonna fucking nail this thing. Yeah. :bigsmile:
 
Do you get on with her friends? Do you know what they think of you? Because girls are typically heavily influenced by their best friends. If they like you and think you're cool, it's very likely that she thinks so too.
 
Ariana said:
Do you get on with her friends? Do you know what they think of you? Because girls are typically heavily influenced by their best friends. If they like you and think you're cool, it's very likely that she thinks so too.
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A close friend of her is the reason why I got to know her back in the 8th grade when we weren't in the same school. My best friend was in the same class with her in their training center.

I've seen her best friend couple of times but I don't know what she thinks about me. She probably thinks nothing about me :p
 
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