Black Bart
Ancient Mariner
Correct!Judas be my Guide
Clue #1: busy judge media < simply an anagram of "Judas Be My Guide"
Clue #2: Van Halen went to Lady Di's burial as an NRA supporter < this one was a bit far-fetched: this enigmatic sentence refers to the lines
"I'm a devil on the run
A six gun lover
A candle in the wind"
from Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory" // "Fight wars/ Die in a blaze of glory"
Clue #3: Status Seeker < the chorus of this Dream Theater song also starts with "Nothing is sacred" (to such an extent some bootleggers called the song "Nothing is sacred" instead of "Status Seeker"
Clue #4:
< this is the most pleasant thing I had found in Google Images when I typed "meat in a plastic sack" (as you can see, it is supposed to contain "meat & rice"!)
Clue #5: Our Donald Who Art In Business < "we pray to god for a better deal"
A UFO was on its way ("Lights out") but it proved unnecessary.