Dream Killing Game

Your license is valid for driving a snowplough in downtown Tehran between November and February only.
 
It snows Christmas morning in the Middle East. Delighted, you race down to the garage to fire up your plough.
Only to discover that a newly-Christian Iran has declared it a national holiday, forbidding all activity that does not involve mangers, donkeys and/or Cliff Richard.
 
I deleted it, because Perun beat me to it and no point in killing a dream twice, specially when they've moved on. But I'll take this as the wish.

My post went to post purgatory, because it was not so bad. See, good posts go to post heaven, bad post go to post hell where they are eternally berated and criticized by Forostar, Perun, LC and Maverick. Yes, Maverick is still there, in fact he runs post hell. But my post was neither good nor bad. It was a decision by Post Pope Postus II that post that are not so bad can purge their bad grammar and spelling in post purgatory. This one looks like it is destined to the post "showers." *rim shot.*

I wish I could sleep more than 4 hours a night.
 
Oh, you can. You take a sleeping aid, not meds, but listening to hours of Rush Limbaugh radio without adverts. It puts you into a deep sleep and you are out for weeks. However, it feels like years in your strange dream addled state. And, unfortunately, your dreams suck you into post hell, where Maverick and SMX make you copy the dictionary 1000 times and make fun of you for not spelling correctly or knowing some of the words. After that, they make you write your public urination story over and over again, while deleting it as soon as you post it.

I want a brand new house on an episode of cribs.
 
You don't have a brand new house on an episode of cribs. Instead you have a bathroom that you can play baseball in.

I want a better internet provider.
 
You get your better internet provider! It's fast, unlimited up/download, Gigabit connection speed, and 100% uptime.

Your new company is NSA.

I want to take a vacation in Cabo San Lucas.
 
You get that vacation in Cabo San Lucas, but the airline loses all of your luggage on the way to Mexico. You stop in a local store to buy new clothes, but you are robbed by a gang of local children. Now a beggar in the streets of a foreign country, you are forced to make jewelry out of dead bugs and sell them to tourists so you can save up for a plane ticket home.

I want this heatwave to end so that I can stop paying for air conditioning.
 
You want to have better headphones, but you can't have them, because your mom said so. Only because you can't have them doesn't mean you stop wanting them. The want eats you from the inside out leaving an unrecognizable blob in the basement where you were crying yourself at ease listening to 5 finger death punch on your shitty headphones. Good thing you never got the good ones to realize how god-awful that band really is.

I wish I was the host of The Last Word on MSNBC...
 
You become the host of The Last Word. At the same time someone on the network makes another story about Alex Jones being a terrorist or some weird thing, and a follower of his gets angry and fire bombs the building. You escape the building with 3rd degree burns.

I want Geoff Tate to retire
 
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Geoff Tate retires and moves in next door to you. He spends his days blasting "Jet City Woman" and "Silent Lucidity" while practicing Kegel exercises in his garage (with the door open). He shows up every morning to deliver your newspaper (from your mailbox) and spends twenty minutes discussing his vocal recording process, but when he's done speaking, you haven't learned a thing. At nights, your new neighbor Geoff Tate throws pool parties in his back yard that no attends. Around 1 AM one night you are awoken by the quiet sounds of new Queensryche material and crying. As you peak through the window, you see Geoff building a sacrificial pyre. He burns all of his Queensryche memorabilia, setting his own house on fire in the process. When you run outside to help, you notice that the fire has spread to your yard, and Geoff is distracting the firefighters by following them around and asking their opinions on music, while simultaneously telling them that their opinions are wrong.

I want my trip to the DMV to take less than one hour.
 
That's a dream that kills itself. Considering every movie Sandler has made in the last decade has been atrocious and nothing more than a vehicle to make him more money and give his loser gang of friends (minus Chris Rock) continued work I'd hate to see a sequel to one of his three good movies.

There's a good wish, I want Adam Sandler to stop making movies.
 
Adam Sandler stops making movies, and starts making music! He releases an album every six months, and buys up tons of radio airplay with all of the money he's made from his crappy movies. He also starts a string of Broadway musicals, written by and starring himself! Adam Sandler makes so much money with his music, that he pays for the rights to have his music pre-loaded onto every iPod, MP3 player, internet streaming service, and the front page of YouTube, Google, and Facebook. He also puts his music in virtually every commercial for the next twenty years, guaranteeing that every human being will hear him and see jpegs of his face, no matter how hard they try not to.

I want to not wake up every day an hour before my alarm goes off.
 
@Onhell you do have a good point there.

You wake up an hour after your alarm goes off, you quickly head to work and your boss decides to fire you. You then go home and go to sleep and you continue to wake up 1 hour after your alarm goes off every day. You also try to find a job. Many days later and many times waking up after your alarm goes off, you get a job. Your now the janitor at McDonald's and you continue to work there for eternity cleaning the urinals, and waking up 1 hour after your alarm goes off.

I want September 12, 2013 to come sooner
 
September 12, 2013 does come sooner. A man from the future uses a time machine to bring you forward to September 11, 2013. However, you then sleep for the next week and miss the September 12 date.

I want a time machine that can take me to any point in time.

Onhell said:
That's a dream that kills itself. Considering every movie Sandler has made in the last decade has been atrocious and nothing more than a vehicle to make him more money and give his loser gang of friends (minus Chris Rock) continued work I'd hate to see a sequel to one of his three good movies.
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@Onhell, I'm curious as to what the other 2 movies are (I'd say Happy Gilmore is easily his best movie though).
 
Happy Gilmore, The Waterboy and Billy Madison IMO. Little Nicky also wasn't too bad.
 
Mosh said:
Happy Gilmore, The Waterboy and Billy Madison IMO. Little Nicky also wasn't too bad.
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Yeah those ones are probably the ones I liked most. I'd say Big Daddy and Wedding Singer were half decent as well, and I actually liked The Longest Yard and Funny People as well. But yeah of course he's had a huge number of stinkers.
 
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