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That Braveride is so, so bad it's not even funny. I couldn't go through the whole thing.
CHEESEVIVÖR: The Book of Metal: ALL HAIL VICTORIUS!
- Thread starter Perun
- Start date
Diesel 11
As you scream into the web of silence...
First pair: Silent Knight - Power Metal Supreme
I'm doing a first here - instead of voting for the song I like better, I'm voting for the one I think would be better as a contender for the crown. Before it was fairly easy because most of my favorite songs were fairly cheesy anyway. Dragonrider, though, I really enjoyed, a lot more than Silent Knight... but any song called "Power Metal Supreme" has enough cheese to send it to the finals. If I didn't have pizza last night I might think of ordering one today. Or Taco Bell.
Second pair: Yuri Fulone - In The Steel You Can Trust
The Masterplan thing was okay, but this song is definitely better. Not much too add... I was singing along by the end of it though.
I'm doing a first here - instead of voting for the song I like better, I'm voting for the one I think would be better as a contender for the crown. Before it was fairly easy because most of my favorite songs were fairly cheesy anyway. Dragonrider, though, I really enjoyed, a lot more than Silent Knight... but any song called "Power Metal Supreme" has enough cheese to send it to the finals. If I didn't have pizza last night I might think of ordering one today. Or Taco Bell.
Second pair: Yuri Fulone - In The Steel You Can Trust
The Masterplan thing was okay, but this song is definitely better. Not much too add... I was singing along by the end of it though.
I guessed, even before reading anything, that Braveride were Greek. I think this might answer Foro's earlier question about where Perun finds such a supply of cheesevivor contenders. I didn't mind Silent Knight, long may Perth's traditional power metal scene live. Got to go for Braveride, and assume that the intended drama got lost somewhere in translation. The BF says "rubbish!" but enjoyed reading the commentary relating to Gaugamela.
Masterplan are okay imo, if leaning towards tame and excessively polished. Quite enjoyed Yuri Fulone. Going to vote for him for pursuing the perilous path of classic heroic cheese glory like a true warrior.
Masterplan are okay imo, if leaning towards tame and excessively polished. Quite enjoyed Yuri Fulone. Going to vote for him for pursuing the perilous path of classic heroic cheese glory like a true warrior.
MrKnickerbocker
clap hands
Silent Knight in the first, because I could actually listen to it and it was supremely lame. Braveride is just terrible.
Yuri Fulone wins by a mile in the second pair. Slightly less polished but so full of cheese.
Yuri Fulone wins by a mile in the second pair. Slightly less polished but so full of cheese.
It's neck and neck in the first match. Gripping stuff!
Ariana
Black-and-white leopard
Apologies for being late again.
Silent Knight was surprisingly enjoyable and sounded way more professional. Dra! Gon! Ri! Der! was undoubtedly cheesier, but was also utterly ridiculous. I'm sorry, but in this pair I'm just going for the better song.
Masterplan is very nondescript, whereas Yuri (or Yuai, as the cover says) oozes all sorts of ripe dairy derivatives.
Silent Knight was surprisingly enjoyable and sounded way more professional. Dra! Gon! Ri! Der! was undoubtedly cheesier, but was also utterly ridiculous. I'm sorry, but in this pair I'm just going for the better song.
Masterplan is very nondescript, whereas Yuri (or Yuai, as the cover says) oozes all sorts of ripe dairy derivatives.
Volume I, Chapter 15: UNBREAKABLE BATTALION BATTLE 2: Thobbe Englund vs Claymorean
Thobbe Englund - Illuminati
Sweden's answer to Jon Schaffer left Sabaton to warn the world of the dangers of the Illuminati. This prompted me to skim his surprisingly extensive solo back catalogue and found that it is a veritable cheese shop. Or maybe I'm also just lying here?
Claymorean - The Final Journey
I had to do some research to find out what the band name is supposed to mean. Apparently, a claymore is 15th century sword type from Scotland that also lent its name to a common land mine that was used worldwide until 1992. Until 2003, the band was called "Claymore". They are from Serbia. I leave you to connect the dots.
Volume I, Chapter 16: IMMORTAL BATTALION BATTLE 2: Domine vs Freternia
Domine - Excalibur
Allegedly, this band was founded in 1983, but it took them until 1997 to release their debut album. Yet, they claim to be one of the most successful bands of the Italian metal scene. I have my doubts...
Freternia - Dragonsong
According to two former members of this band who re-recorded it in 2016, this song is a classic masterpiece that was only marred by a poor production. I will play the re-recording to you if you let the creators of this classic masterpiece advance to the next round.
Sweden's answer to Jon Schaffer left Sabaton to warn the world of the dangers of the Illuminati. This prompted me to skim his surprisingly extensive solo back catalogue and found that it is a veritable cheese shop. Or maybe I'm also just lying here?
I had to do some research to find out what the band name is supposed to mean. Apparently, a claymore is 15th century sword type from Scotland that also lent its name to a common land mine that was used worldwide until 1992. Until 2003, the band was called "Claymore". They are from Serbia. I leave you to connect the dots.
Volume I, Chapter 16: IMMORTAL BATTALION BATTLE 2: Domine vs Freternia
Allegedly, this band was founded in 1983, but it took them until 1997 to release their debut album. Yet, they claim to be one of the most successful bands of the Italian metal scene. I have my doubts...
According to two former members of this band who re-recorded it in 2016, this song is a classic masterpiece that was only marred by a poor production. I will play the re-recording to you if you let the creators of this classic masterpiece advance to the next round.
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Once again, as I listen to the previous ones, the cheese is updated. My votes for previous would have been for Silent Knight and Yuri as well, if the Cheesemäster feels generous.
Also, I'm modifying the rules a bit for the upcoming rounds. Since we're through with all the bands, in the next rounds, each two battles will be from the same battalion and votes will not be publicly visible to keep some tension in the game.
For Thobbe Englund, you can see why he left Sabaton. That is definitely different from the Swedish masters themselves. Whoever is singing can't, and "While fingers to the bone" isn't a thing people say. It's pretty funny! Claymorean has a giant leap up though, considering they start with such a horrifically cheesy band name, and they live up to it with an epically long intro and just...nonsense, nonsense lyrics. Claymorean.
Domine have an absolutely bold plan of trying to make an epic song. And some of it is epic cheese, but making a 13 minute long cheese fest is a challenge not to be lightly undertaken. There is signs of brilliance here, but I worry that they have bitten off more than they can chew. Freternia starts off strong with an unnecessary piano, but I think it slips down through the vocal sections, though the more glammish middle instrumental is decent. Still, I am going to vote for Domine.
Domine have an absolutely bold plan of trying to make an epic song. And some of it is epic cheese, but making a 13 minute long cheese fest is a challenge not to be lightly undertaken. There is signs of brilliance here, but I worry that they have bitten off more than they can chew. Freternia starts off strong with an unnecessary piano, but I think it slips down through the vocal sections, though the more glammish middle instrumental is decent. Still, I am going to vote for Domine.
Has to be Claymorean, they have all the ingredients plus some, and I don't have a clue what they're singing about. I'm not sure they do, either. Poor Thorbjörn. I can't hear Sabaton, or indeed all these other bands, in this weak effort.
Slightly saddened that Domine nicked a speech from one of my favourite films to introduce something ever so slightly so underwhelming. I do quite like how the song picked up later on, though, the instrumental was quite nice. Oh Jesus, Freternia are impossible to beat here. Twee tinkly keyboard, dragons, borderline tuneless vocal melody. I bet anything the singer has an open shirt and a hairy chest. The instrumental was uncharacteristically decent, wish it had been used in something else.
Slightly saddened that Domine nicked a speech from one of my favourite films to introduce something ever so slightly so underwhelming. I do quite like how the song picked up later on, though, the instrumental was quite nice. Oh Jesus, Freternia are impossible to beat here. Twee tinkly keyboard, dragons, borderline tuneless vocal melody. I bet anything the singer has an open shirt and a hairy chest. The instrumental was uncharacteristically decent, wish it had been used in something else.
Diesel 11
As you scream into the web of silence...
First pair: Thobbe Englund - Illuminati
I genuinely want Thobbe to win this entire thing. Claymorean is decent, but I don't think I've ever heard another singer as badly suited to metal as she is. I'd listen to her more if she did a pop record or something. Had some good high notes and props to her for the attempt, but yeah. No. Thobbe for the win.
Second pair: Freternia - Dragonsong
I have no clue why I listened to all of that Excalibur thing because... there are great songs around 13 minutes long - Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Keeper of the Seven Keys, The Sermon - but this isn't one of them. The good moments are few and far between. Freternia, though - that's what I fucking wanna hear from a track called "Dragonsong". The production wasn't as bad as it could've been, and I came close to a few tears. Emotional in a cheesy way is still emotional.
If Thobbe and Freternia went up against each other I dunno who I'd pick. Both could make it to the top.
I genuinely want Thobbe to win this entire thing. Claymorean is decent, but I don't think I've ever heard another singer as badly suited to metal as she is. I'd listen to her more if she did a pop record or something. Had some good high notes and props to her for the attempt, but yeah. No. Thobbe for the win.
Second pair: Freternia - Dragonsong
I have no clue why I listened to all of that Excalibur thing because... there are great songs around 13 minutes long - Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Keeper of the Seven Keys, The Sermon - but this isn't one of them. The good moments are few and far between. Freternia, though - that's what I fucking wanna hear from a track called "Dragonsong". The production wasn't as bad as it could've been, and I came close to a few tears. Emotional in a cheesy way is still emotional.
If Thobbe and Freternia went up against each other I dunno who I'd pick. Both could make it to the top.
Forostar
Ancient Mariner
*sigh*
Duh. This Farternia song is also much more inferior to at least 100 other ballads I've heard. And 99,9999% of all music is inferior to Rime.
For the record: Last time I checked, Diesel, the Domine song is not competing against Rime or Keeper. It competes against an utterly inferior shit ballad with an offkey vocalist (@2:48-: get the earcheese out of your ears!!)). How can you praise that, bunch of def leppards.
Duh. This Farternia song is also much more inferior to at least 100 other ballads I've heard. And 99,9999% of all music is inferior to Rime.
For the record: Last time I checked, Diesel, the Domine song is not competing against Rime or Keeper. It competes against an utterly inferior shit ballad with an offkey vocalist (@2:48-: get the earcheese out of your ears!!)). How can you praise that, bunch of def leppards.
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I'm not saying it's competing against them, I'm just using them as a base of comparison.