Diesel 11
As you scream into the web of silence...
Slayer, maybe?
CHEESEVIVÖR: The Book of Metal: ALL HAIL VICTORIUS!
- Thread starter Perun
- Start date
Ravensire have plenty of cheese credentials, but can't compete with ValSans' slightly forced take on Norse mythological epicness, matched only by an even more contrived and abrupt attempt to liken the glorious battles of mythology and the Viking age to modern-day struggles against fascism. Maybe their mums told them off for sounding too Nazi, so they had to tack a bit onto the end to explain themselves.
I have to give the second one to Victorius for glorious/glorius posturing, hamming it up melodically, and also rocking out 'neath the blazing glow of Ikea lighting. Halloween have their charm, but are unexceptional.
I have to give the second one to Victorius for glorious/glorius posturing, hamming it up melodically, and also rocking out 'neath the blazing glow of Ikea lighting. Halloween have their charm, but are unexceptional.
MrKnickerbocker
clap hands
The first two songs are exceptionally bad. Like, the guitarists in both bands sound like they've maybe learned one song before trying to record. The solos are so awful. However, I'm giving the edge to ValSans for being both terrible at their instruments and horribly terrible at songwriting. That jump to the reich really got me.
Victorius is the only band here with a solid recording and good playing. The song is terribly lame, but not as cheesy as most of the cheese here. The main riff actually kinda sounds like old Kamelot and the solo is pretty good (at least in technique). Halloween sounds like it was recorded in a basement using an old B-movie studio set.
Victorius is the only band here with a solid recording and good playing. The song is terribly lame, but not as cheesy as most of the cheese here. The main riff actually kinda sounds like old Kamelot and the solo is pretty good (at least in technique). Halloween sounds like it was recorded in a basement using an old B-movie studio set.
Lampwick 43
Barstool Warrior
Well it looks like I missed the last two rounds, but for the record I just went back and listened to everything I missed out on. In a row. Right now I feel fully prepared to go out and battle a dragon or something.
In this round, my votes are going to Ravensire and Victorius.
In this round, my votes are going to Ravensire and Victorius.
Ariana
Black-and-white leopard
Honestly, I didn't like either in the first pair. Mjolnir was just dull, with or without the Third Reich, and even though Ravensire wasn't much better, it felt more engaging somehow. Overall, two forgettable songs.
Halloween is just annoying. Not a type of cheese I would go back to. Victorius is all that the Cheesevivor is supposed to be about, so this pair was a no-brainer.
Halloween is just annoying. Not a type of cheese I would go back to. Victorius is all that the Cheesevivor is supposed to be about, so this pair was a no-brainer.
Volume I, Chapter 11: GLORIOUS BATTALION, Battle 2: Marius Danielsen vs Liege Lord
Marius Danielsen - The Battle of Bargor-Zun
I stated before that one of the best things about the CHEESEVIVÖR for me is when I do the research and just sit there in shock at what I hear. Well, I'll say it like it is. Former Norwegian Idol contestant Marius Danielsen left me in complete awe. He has created nothing short of a masterpiece with "Legend of Valley Doom". This is Cheese Metal Perfection. Not only does it exploit, nay, celebrate every conceivable cliché with flaming passion, but it creates new ones that are worth being carried on for many generations to come. I almost wanted to leave this out of the competition, because there is just nothing that can top it; every song, every moment on this album is a golden landscape painting of what the CHEESEVIVÖR is about in its very heart and soul.
Liege Lord - Wielding Iron Fists
One of the big names of 1980s US Metal. Apart from being about as 80s as the 80s could get, you just have to marvel at their lyrical eloquence in lines such as Iron fists it's terror twists you've yet to feel it's gleam insist/So join the lines to keep in time it's iron wields from armoured wrists... I can't help but think that this is brilliant in a way.
Volume I, Chapter 12: POWERFUL BATTALION, Battle 2: Dreamtale vs Stormwitch
Dreamtale - Yesterday's News
Just listen to the first lines of this song. Talk about a band with an attitude. Ouch Dreamtale, words can really hurt.
Stormwitch - Beauty and the Beast
Before Helloween and Running Wild inspired billions of German power metal bands to work their hardest to eliminate any shred of originality in their sound, the self-proclaimed "Masters of Black Romantic" roamed the stages of the Old Republic to give people a taste of what it's like to be a pirate, a wizard or a beauty.
I stated before that one of the best things about the CHEESEVIVÖR for me is when I do the research and just sit there in shock at what I hear. Well, I'll say it like it is. Former Norwegian Idol contestant Marius Danielsen left me in complete awe. He has created nothing short of a masterpiece with "Legend of Valley Doom". This is Cheese Metal Perfection. Not only does it exploit, nay, celebrate every conceivable cliché with flaming passion, but it creates new ones that are worth being carried on for many generations to come. I almost wanted to leave this out of the competition, because there is just nothing that can top it; every song, every moment on this album is a golden landscape painting of what the CHEESEVIVÖR is about in its very heart and soul.
One of the big names of 1980s US Metal. Apart from being about as 80s as the 80s could get, you just have to marvel at their lyrical eloquence in lines such as Iron fists it's terror twists you've yet to feel it's gleam insist/So join the lines to keep in time it's iron wields from armoured wrists... I can't help but think that this is brilliant in a way.
Volume I, Chapter 12: POWERFUL BATTALION, Battle 2: Dreamtale vs Stormwitch
Just listen to the first lines of this song. Talk about a band with an attitude. Ouch Dreamtale, words can really hurt.
Before Helloween and Running Wild inspired billions of German power metal bands to work their hardest to eliminate any shred of originality in their sound, the self-proclaimed "Masters of Black Romantic" roamed the stages of the Old Republic to give people a taste of what it's like to be a pirate, a wizard or a beauty.
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Wow, Marius. The chorus is so, so glorious. "Like a phoenix we fly high"...and the spoken word in the middle? Superb, like I just opened a fresh wheel of brie or something similar. Cheese enthusiasts all over could sample this with delight and love. Oh, I just got to the solo, that's so bad. It's so good. Liege Lord reminds me of a few other bands of their era. It was prime cheese in its day, but we've learned so much more about how to make cheese and how to make cheese palatable. Marius Danielsen, welcome to the contender's table.
Dreamtale...I started the song and then barely noticed anything about it. Hardly seems cheesy at all, though it's not exactly good. Nothing special here. Stormwitch has some fun stuff though, the chorus is good, the random woman signing poorly along, ooohyes. Let's go with Stormwitch.
Dreamtale...I started the song and then barely noticed anything about it. Hardly seems cheesy at all, though it's not exactly good. Nothing special here. Stormwitch has some fun stuff though, the chorus is good, the random woman signing poorly along, ooohyes. Let's go with Stormwitch.
Sorry, Liege Lord, it'll take a lot more than singing in an echoey cardboard box to outcheese Marius Danielsen, who simply ticks every Cheesevivor box imaginable.
Dreamtale aren't too stand-out, while Stormwitch sound like The Human League going through a metal phase. They deserve a vote for that at the very least.
Dreamtale aren't too stand-out, while Stormwitch sound like The Human League going through a metal phase. They deserve a vote for that at the very least.
Diesel 11
As you scream into the web of silence...
First pair: Liege Lord - Wielding Iron Fists
Once again I'm at odds with the majority. I was expecting something truly epic after reading the other comments on Marius and all I got was... nothing special. Any chorus with the word "phoenix" in it needs to be as epic as that bird, and this wasn't. I did notice his voice sounds like 21st century Bruce, but it doesn't fit this song. It also sounds too much like Keeper of the Seven Keys without being as much of a stand-out as that track. By comparison, Liege Lord isn't exactly the bee's knees either, but they're far cooler to listen to. Bonus points for Maiden-esque solo.
Second pair: Dreamtale - Yesterday's News
Again, I'm voting against you guys. This round was much closer, I enjoyed both songs. I thought I'd heard pop metal before today - turns out, nah. Stormwitch takes that concept and brings it to a whole 'nother level entirely. '80s pop + '80s metal = wow. Still, I think I enjoyed Dreamtale a bit more. This song's lyrics are something lots of people wanna tell the old hot shots of high school or wherever they were when they met them. Even to those "wash-ups" still trying to act, sing, y'know. It's says stuff I bet everyone finds themselves thinking at one point or other. Not that I encourage being so blunt IRL, but y'know what I mean. Bonus points because this song probably describes this band that no one will ever hear of unless you take part in a glorious Cheesevivor.
Once again I'm at odds with the majority. I was expecting something truly epic after reading the other comments on Marius and all I got was... nothing special. Any chorus with the word "phoenix" in it needs to be as epic as that bird, and this wasn't. I did notice his voice sounds like 21st century Bruce, but it doesn't fit this song. It also sounds too much like Keeper of the Seven Keys without being as much of a stand-out as that track. By comparison, Liege Lord isn't exactly the bee's knees either, but they're far cooler to listen to. Bonus points for Maiden-esque solo.
Second pair: Dreamtale - Yesterday's News
Again, I'm voting against you guys. This round was much closer, I enjoyed both songs. I thought I'd heard pop metal before today - turns out, nah. Stormwitch takes that concept and brings it to a whole 'nother level entirely. '80s pop + '80s metal = wow. Still, I think I enjoyed Dreamtale a bit more. This song's lyrics are something lots of people wanna tell the old hot shots of high school or wherever they were when they met them. Even to those "wash-ups" still trying to act, sing, y'know. It's says stuff I bet everyone finds themselves thinking at one point or other. Not that I encourage being so blunt IRL, but y'know what I mean. Bonus points because this song probably describes this band that no one will ever hear of unless you take part in a glorious Cheesevivor.
Forostar
Ancient Mariner
Sorry but.... I like these songs! How did you discover these bands? It isn't just a matter of googling for cheese, is it?
Hard to choose between the 2nd pair. Perhaps I go for Dreamtale. The first is going to be Liege Lord. Less epic, but catchy, rough riffing. Reminds me a bit of early Helloween.
Hard to choose between the 2nd pair. Perhaps I go for Dreamtale. The first is going to be Liege Lord. Less epic, but catchy, rough riffing. Reminds me a bit of early Helloween.
MrKnickerbocker
clap hands
That Marius track does absolutely everything cheese, whether it's good or not - and thus gets the vote.
Neither song in the second battle is ludicrously cheesy, but I'm going with Stormwitch simply for variety. It's an aged style of cheese we've yet to chew on.
Neither song in the second battle is ludicrously cheesy, but I'm going with Stormwitch simply for variety. It's an aged style of cheese we've yet to chew on.
Ariana
Black-and-white leopard
I'm a bit late, but I hope I can still vote. Marius's intro makes me think of Christmas. The overall cheese level of that track is beyond belief, so naturally I have to vote for him.
Am I the only one who can hear Sabaton in Dreamtale? They also have a unicorn on the album cover, and I love the "You're so lame" part, so I'm sold.
Am I the only one who can hear Sabaton in Dreamtale? They also have a unicorn on the album cover, and I love the "You're so lame" part, so I'm sold.
D
Deleted member 7164
Guest
Ah I missed voting.
It would be Marius and Stormwitch. That Liege Lord song isn't even that cheesy music wise, it's more of a plain heavy metal. Dreamtale is cheese but nothing compared to soft and stinky cheese that's Stormwitch, the combination of bad female vocals, major keys, that synth patch straight out of Casios $10 model, the meek guitar and bad accent, this is a proper Stinking Bishop.
It would be Marius and Stormwitch. That Liege Lord song isn't even that cheesy music wise, it's more of a plain heavy metal. Dreamtale is cheese but nothing compared to soft and stinky cheese that's Stormwitch, the combination of bad female vocals, major keys, that synth patch straight out of Casios $10 model, the meek guitar and bad accent, this is a proper Stinking Bishop.
Lampwick 43
Barstool Warrior
If votes are still being accepted, count me for Marius Danielsen, which was actually a pretty cool song, and Stormwitch, the most 80s-sounding song I've ever heard in my entire life.
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
D
Deleted member 7164
Guest
Cheese plz.
Volume I, Chapter 13: MIGHTY BATTALION BATTLE 2: Braveride vs Silent Knight
Braveride - Dragonrider
They say that one of the key factors in understanding historic battles is that for the most part, nobody fighting there had any clue of what was going on. The Persians lost to Alexander at Gaugamela because there was dust everywhere, nobody could see their outstretched hand, and the progress of battle was not even visible to the commanders; that's why such a small army of Macedon spearmen could defeat an overwhelming juggernaught of Iranian cavalry. If Braveride get one thing right, it's transferring the chaos of battle to their lyrics - I have no fucking clue what's supposed to be going on in the lines that Alex Koromilas is singing. Bug or feature?
Silent Knight - Power Metal Supreme
According to their Facebook page, "Perth’s traditional power metal experts (...) are breathing new life into a stagnant and saturated genre (...)", with their recent album "(...) injecting fresh air and excitement into an over saturated scene." I have nothing to add.
Volume I, Chapter 14: AUGUST BATTALION BATTLE 2: Masterplan vs Yuri Fulone
Masterplan- Time to be King
Masterplan are a band formed of Helloween leftovers, and there apparently is some sort of grudge because some of their members got shafted in the Pumpkins United thing, so they released PumpKings, a compilation of re-recordings of songs that didn't make the reunion cut. Whatever, we are here focusing on their original material, which is fine, if a bit old-fashioned Cheese Metal. So perfect for the CHEESEVIVÖR? You decide!
Yuri Fulone - In the Steel You Can Trust
If you think there is a problem with this song's title, consider that it is directly citing the father of Conan the Cimmerian, in an age undreamt of. Philologically speaking, languages that are more archaic are also by rule more complex, so that in Conan's time, people would have spoken in a much more complicated grammatical manner. They may well have put definite articles where today we wouldn't find them anymore. Well played, Yuri.
They say that one of the key factors in understanding historic battles is that for the most part, nobody fighting there had any clue of what was going on. The Persians lost to Alexander at Gaugamela because there was dust everywhere, nobody could see their outstretched hand, and the progress of battle was not even visible to the commanders; that's why such a small army of Macedon spearmen could defeat an overwhelming juggernaught of Iranian cavalry. If Braveride get one thing right, it's transferring the chaos of battle to their lyrics - I have no fucking clue what's supposed to be going on in the lines that Alex Koromilas is singing. Bug or feature?
According to their Facebook page, "Perth’s traditional power metal experts (...) are breathing new life into a stagnant and saturated genre (...)", with their recent album "(...) injecting fresh air and excitement into an over saturated scene." I have nothing to add.
Volume I, Chapter 14: AUGUST BATTALION BATTLE 2: Masterplan vs Yuri Fulone
Masterplan are a band formed of Helloween leftovers, and there apparently is some sort of grudge because some of their members got shafted in the Pumpkins United thing, so they released PumpKings, a compilation of re-recordings of songs that didn't make the reunion cut. Whatever, we are here focusing on their original material, which is fine, if a bit old-fashioned Cheese Metal. So perfect for the CHEESEVIVÖR? You decide!
If you think there is a problem with this song's title, consider that it is directly citing the father of Conan the Cimmerian, in an age undreamt of. Philologically speaking, languages that are more archaic are also by rule more complex, so that in Conan's time, people would have spoken in a much more complicated grammatical manner. They may well have put definite articles where today we wouldn't find them anymore. Well played, Yuri.