CHEESEVIVÖR: The Book of Metal: ALL HAIL VICTORIUS!

THE LAST BATTLE


  • Total voters
    9
  • Poll closed .
Gotta be Masterplan, that's one cheesy chorus. It's not the finest example of cheese we've seen yet, but certainly up there.

As for the battle of the beasts, I was a little iffy on Virgin Steele, worried they'd lost their touch. Then I got to that keyboard solo. Ye cheese gods. Might be the single biggest piece of Gouda we've seen yet.
 
Masterplan's chorus is awesome and the singer is much more listenable than Wolf's. Virgin Steele sounded good until the horrendous proggy keyboard part that made my ears bleed, so Yuri gets my vote despite the mediocre song.
 
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VOLUME I, Chapter 43 :UNBREAKABLE BATTALION BATTLE 5: Omen vs Thobbe Englund

Omen - Warning of Danger
Do what you want but think about the omen, a vishn in your mind will lead your way, doo-dee-doo-dee

Thobbe Englund - I Am
Questions to not ask Thobbe Englund:
1. Who runs the world?
2. What will happen when we run out of oil?
3. Who are you?

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VOLUME I, Chapter 44 :UNBREAKABLE BATTALION BATTLE 5: Rhapsody vs Claymorean

Rhapsody - Dawn of Victory
It would be a bit cocky for Luca Turilli and his warriors to claim they are at the dawn of victory just yet, the fight in the Unbreakable Battalion is still fully open.

Claymorean - Glory is Calling Me
Remember this is from the time when the band was just called "Claymore". I'm also wondering if this song was the victim of a "True Metal Lyrics" generator. And if no such thing exists, it is something the world needs.
 
Omen gets my vote in the first lot. Thobbe, you should've stayed in Sabaton . . .

Rhapsody edges Claymorean (who knew violin metal works so well?), though the latter gets some kudos for including latin lyrics
 
Thobbe is delightful. Meaningless lyrics, unwatchable videos, mediocre songwriting... Still gets my vote.
I wouldn't really say Rhapsody grabbed me, but Claymorean decided to sign up a screaming girl, so Rhapsody it is.
 
My inner seven-year-old metal fan approves of Omen. I'm not the mountain, the river, snow, desert, gold, moonlight, wolf, the spider, and definitely not your mother, father or soul. Sorry, Thobbe, I just got bored with that.

Rhapsody are utilising classic speed cheese formula here, but Claymorean's excessive LOTRsy-heroism-meets-Nightwish has to claim victory here.
 
I think Omen goes over Thobbe - but it's a battle of forgettable songs. The second battle, however.

After two listens, I believe that Claymorean is the superior cheese, though this is one of the hardest of all battles.
 
I've got to give it to Thobbe in the first match for being both more boring and lamer.

Second match is tough, both use so many cheese tactic, but in the end I think Claymorean ups the gouda with the lyrics, ludicrous different soundscapes, and somehow managing to be more musically engaging.
 
Apart from that maggoty stuff. I don't care how much of a delicacy it is, there's no way I'm eating maggoty cheese.
 
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