❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

[Cat Milk Supreme]

I never said it was a bad shift lol. I don't think it "lowered" the tone, just changed it. For better or worse depends on the reader, I guess. These are things I've considered and been curious about. A friend of mine used to participate in the swinging scene decades ago and when I told him I considered going to a club here in town he said, "At least your old and mature enough so as it doesn't scar you for life" LOL. I think it's evident other things have done that already, but I'm still on the fence about it.

Scarred for life. Wow. That's not exactly a shining recommendation haha. It's also not a common reaction, in my experience.

 

[JudasMyGuide]

Well, my life's observation tells me that people who are desperate and look for help with a hooker don't exactly get a boost of self-esteem or confidence with women, I actually think it is very bad advice to give, and I'm kind of surprised that a different consensus is building here. But what do I know.

Indeed, this thread turning to actually pretty much recommending prostitution to someone who has repeatedly demonstrated mental health issues, low self-esteem and concerning ideations etc. is disgusting to a degree I have never seen on this forum and I'd genuinely propose a mod action here.

I mean, if the other guys want to debase themselves, that's one thing, if they want to flaunt it in public, well, it's their honor and dignity.

But the point is - every time a man has to pay for sex, he admits he can't get it without paying. How much money did you have to pay for a woman to touch your dick where everyone else is getting their sucked for completely free?

Especially if you're in a mentally unsound place, when the post-nut clarity hits, it can worsen your issues to a significant, even dangerous degree.

This is a dating advice thread, take your coke and whores elsewhere, for fuck's sake.

 

[Spaldy]

 

[Cat Milk Supreme]

I mean, if the other guys want to debase themselves, that's one thing, if they want to flaunt it in public, well, it's their honor and dignity.

Sex work is work too, bro. You consider sex workers as debasing individuals? How lovely. Honour and dignity? Oh my, this whole sentence is so riddled with repression, holier-than-thou judgement, utter toxicity.

And a mod response? For a different kind of advice to a guy who A - suggested it himself and B - had failed with several other tactics? Maybe it was close to the line but the mods didn't intervene, not something that can be said about many of your rants in other threads.

Maybe is wasn't great advice but that's in the eye of the receiver, its a personal thing.

I'm not gonna go back over the thread but I'm pretty sure that the language used was nowhere near as crude as your own in the above post.

Dating and sex are intertwined. Not everybody who visits a sex worker suffers mental degredation because of it. So how about you take your judgement and your high horse and fuck off back to the politics thread and await your next mod intervention.

 

[Vaenyr]

Dating and sex are intertwined. Not everybody who visits a sex worker suffers mental degredation because of it. So how about you take your judgement and your high horse and fuck off back to the politics thread and await your next mod intervention.

To add to your point, not everyone who visits a sex worker does so for sex either. I've read many accounts of people going to sex workers to simply have some kind of human connection. Someone to talk with. Someone to cuddle. Stuff like that.

"Debasing", holy shit. And I thought leftists like me had the monopoly on high horses lol

 

[Cat Milk Supreme]

To add to your point, not everyone who visits a sex worker does so for sex either. I've read many accounts of people going to sex workers to simply have some kind of human connection. Someone to talk with. Someone to cuddle. Stuff like that.

Definitely true, I seen it in one of the Young Guns films

 

[LooseCannon]

So, here's an interesting conundrum.

The Maidenfans rules don't mention anything about the law, with the exception of copyright law. We've long considered copyright law as the single most serious threat to the forum. It is not currently against the rules to encourage someone to break the law, and that's partially because "which law should count?"

Seriously. Should we go by the laws in Mexico? Estonia? Czechia? UK? Canada? USA? Saudi Arabia? Singapore? Which jurisdiction in those countries? We've long tolerated discussions of drug use and other similar things that are broadly, but not universally illegal, as long as it doesn't violate the rest of the rules. I certainly consider employing a sex worker to be within this area of tolerance. I see nothing wrong nor immoral with the employment of sex workers within safe and consensual environments.

While it is true that, depending on region, traditional methodologies of employing a sex worker are rife with crime and violence, this is also not universally true. I would have preferred to see more emphasis on ensuring the ethical nature of such employment, but, in general, I find nothing within that aspect that requires moderation.

Similarly, I see very little that is actionable about the post-sex work part of the conversation. Some members have said things I find morally reprehensible, but I'm not here to tell people how to view the world, only what is appropriate to post here - and to remove them if they are unable to obey the rules.

However, I do think the diversion from the main conversation is significant, and we should all try to return to the actual discussion rather than a side tangent on swinging or on the morality of sex work.

I will remind everyone, however, that:

Forum members will ensure they post in a respectful fashion towards their fellow members. This includes avoiding insults, escalating arguments, and attacking new forum members for being ignorant of rules (written or unwritten). Forum members will follow moderator guidance when arguments are deemed to no longer be in good faith or otherwise become detrimental to the community experience. Forum members will be cautious when discussing sensitive material. Spoiler tags and content warnings are encouraged when reasonably required.

With that in mind, I think it's time to return to the original discussion, and to avoid personal attacks, be they coded or direct.

 

[Saapanael]

I went to my hairdresser, whom I haven’t seen for half a year because she was abroad. I was planning to ask her out because I’ve always liked her a lot, but was quite sure I’d shit my pants and not do it. We got a good conversation going, though, and that gave me the confidence to ask her out. Unfortunately, the timing didn’t work out for her. I’m glad I asked and a bit disappointed it didn’t happen, but man, I feel like she’s so right for me. She’s so friendly, warm, stylish and beautiful with some very unique traits in her look, just what I look for in women. She’s going abroad again soon, I’ll probably see her next time in June. I almost had the chance to exchange contacts with her today but I felt like going for that would’ve been just a bit too much. I could be wrong, I don’t know. All I know is I want to get to know her better, but she’s keen on moving to another country in the future, and she’s in the hair salon increasingly rarely. Any advice on how to approach this the next time I meet her?

 

[Onhell]

That definitely bodes well, congrats! Is the timing because she is going abroad again? Looks like you have the impression it wasn't a hard "no," and just a "not right now." Correct? If that's the case looks like June will be a good time to exchange contacts and try again.

 

[Saapanael]

That definitely bodes well, congrats! Is the timing because she is going abroad again? Looks like you have the impression it wasn't a hard "no," and just a "not right now." Correct? If that's the case looks like June will be a good time to exchange contacts and try again.

I asked her to a specific event (a theatre play, because I have a part-time job at a theatre) but she happened to be working exactly then. Sunday evening, of all times. She mentioned she’s spending the week at home and then working Saturday-Sunday. I don’t know if that was a hint that she’s available on other days but I couldn’t come up with anything on the spot and I don’t want to kill myself with all the “what-ifs” anyway. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a hard no, didn’t sound like that at least. I’m thinking maybe next time I can approach her more like “I would like to talk more about these topics sometime” because we really had a lot to talk about. And the way she behaves, I think she sees me as a decent conversation partner, but realistically, the romantic feelings are probably one-sided.
I’ve been cursed with a babyface, which makes me look up to 10 years younger than I am, and the inability to grow a beard. Women are not usually into men who look younger than them all I can do is work out and build a stronger body.

I will definitely try to exchange contacts next time. Today was the first time we’ve actually talked more, and it gave me what I needed to know to pursue this further. I haven’t met anyone as good as her in a long time (perhaps ever), most potentially “available” women that I’ve met pale in comparison, so I need to do something about it.

 

[Onhell]

That definitely sounds like a good possibility and I agree next time you could ask her out to chat. I have no idea how it works in Europe, but I always tell my students to go out for coffee on a first date, no alcohol, no food (like dinner), that way no risk on making a fool of yourself by getting too drunk or embarrassed by something getting stuck in your teeth. It's during the day, open area which is a more inviting atmosphere than a dark bar at night. Best of luck!

 

[Saapanael]

That definitely sounds like a good possibility and I agree next time you could ask her out to chat. I have no idea how it works in Europe, but I always tell my students to go out for coffee on a first date, no alcohol, no food (like dinner), that way no risk on making a fool of yourself by getting too drunk or embarrassed by something getting stuck in your teeth. It's during the day, open area which is a more inviting atmosphere than a dark bar at night. Best of luck!

Yup, definitely some daytime activity, like coffee. God, you know when somebody seems absolutely perfect but very approachable at the same time, not like some out-of-reach deity? That’s her.

 

[____no5]

I went to my hairdresser, whom I haven’t seen for half a year because she was abroad. I was planning to ask her out because I’ve always liked her a lot, but was quite sure I’d shit my pants and not do it. We got a good conversation going, though, and that gave me the confidence to ask her out. Unfortunately, the timing didn’t work out for her. I’m glad I asked and a bit disappointed it didn’t happen, but man, I feel like she’s so right for me. She’s so friendly, warm, stylish and beautiful with some very unique traits in her look, just what I look for in women.

I am immensely proud of you... wow!

 

[Edington]

Unfortunately, the timing didn’t work out for her. I’m glad I asked and a bit disappointed it didn’t happen, but man, I feel like she’s so right for me.

This struck me as I was in the same situation with a girl year before last. We were on good terms, not particularly close but friendly, I hadn't met anyone I felt that way about for a while, I had it in my head we were a perfect fit for each other so I decided to ask her out. I don't wanna rain on your parade, your case does sound more positive than mine (you've at least had some good conversation and seem closer than this girl and I were, we didn't talk too much. I thought it was because she was shy, I was wrong, she just knew I was interested and didn't feel the same way), but I'll tell you a few things I'd tell myself back then..

I asked her to a specific event (a theatre play, because I have a part-time job at a theatre) but she happened to be working exactly then. Sunday evening, of all times. She mentioned she’s spending the week at home and then working Saturday-Sunday. I don’t know if that was a hint that she’s available on other days but I couldn’t come up with anything on the spot and I don’t want to kill myself with all the “what-ifs” anyway. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a hard no, didn’t sound like that at least.

Ditto. She told me she was busy with work and an exam she was studying for (true, she told me before that she worked late shifts, and about her studies) but that we'd see each other at the open mic night we met at and went to every week. Kind of saying "I don't want to go out with you, but we'll see each other again, it's not gonna be awkward", letting me down gently.

And the way she behaves, I think she sees me as a decent conversation partner, but realistically, the romantic feelings are probably one-sided. I’ve been cursed with a babyface, which makes me look up to 10 years younger than I am, and the inability to grow a beard. Women are not usually into men who look younger than them

Ever heard of Thomas Brodie-Sangster? You might've seen him in some things, he's an actor. 34 years old, has barely aged a day since he was a teenager but is married to a woman who looks older than him*. Don't put yourself down, lots of guys don't look their age and it doesn't affect how women view them.

*Well, she is older than him, but still.

She’s so friendly, warm, stylish and beautiful with some very unique traits in her look, just what I look for in women.

I mean, she's a hairdresser, it could be that she's just great with customer service.

I haven’t met anyone as good as her in a long time (perhaps ever), most potentially “available” women that I’ve met pale in comparison, so I need to do something about it.

God, you know when somebody seems absolutely perfect but very approachable at the same time, not like some out-of-reach deity? That’s her.

Stop putting her on a pedestal, it's only gonna hurt more if it doesn't work out. Things do still sound positive, just calm down a little, read the room when you see her again and don't let it get to you too much if she doesn't feel the same.