❤ Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread ❤

Saapanael said:
Aren’t swingers’ clubs a whole separate thing? I was recently in Austria and was looking for information on adult clubs and based on their websites, I thought they’re places where you hang out, have some drinks, and if you’re lucky you might get to go to a private room with a woman. Didn’t exactly give me a “swingers club” vibe reading those descriptions. I didn’t have time to go to one anyway, maybe in the future.


Yeah, Per. I’m going to visit Germany for the first time next August.
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Adult club, sex club, swinger club, maybe all the same thing. Different clubs have different vibes (kinky, vanilla, public, members only etc) but generally there's bar/dance floor/hangout areas, bigger rooms for group shenanigans/voyeurism and more private booths.

I'm also goin to Berlin next August for the first time, Maiden night 2. I'm stayin with a friend who recently moved there, she will know the good places to go come next August, I'm sure.
 
Perun said:
I don't even know what to say to what I'm reading here.
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"Thank you guys for sharing thoughts and info which, while not necessarily useful to me, might be really important to someone else, and isn't this the whole point of this forum, thank you once again" ?
 
Magnus said:
"Thank you guys for sharing thoughts and info which, while not necessarily useful to me, might be really important to someone else, and isn't this the whole point of this forum, thank you once again" ?
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Well, my life's observation tells me that people who are desperate and look for help with a hooker don't exactly get a boost of self-esteem or confidence with women, I actually think it is very bad advice to give, and I'm kind of surprised that a different consensus is building here. But what do I know.
 
Perun said:
Well, my life's observation tells me that people who are desperate and look for help with a hooker don't exactly get a boost of self-esteem or confidence with women, I actually think it is very bad advice to give, and I'm kind of surprised that a different consensus is building here. But what do I know.
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Took the words right out of my mouth, sir.

@Saapanael I obviously don't know your full story but what you've said in this thread and the Mental Health one suggests that visiting a sex worker is absolutely not the right call, it's not gonna help you the way you think it will, or need it to. I don't know what the answer is, I'm far from the most worldly person here and I'm genuinely sorry that I can't tell you something that will give you the boost you need, aside from slightly cliché advice and my own personal experience, which isn't the most helpful story.

I think you should reconsider the whole sex worker thing until you're in a better frame of mind, I think that also will help you see whether this is really the decision you wanna make.
 
I’m not that serious about the sex worker thing anyway, just curious, let’s put it like that. What I really want is what almost everybody in this world wants: real human warmth and connection.
 
Saapanael said:
I’m not that serious about the sex worker thing anyway, just curious, let’s put it like that. What I really want is what almost everybody in this world wants: real human warmth and connection.
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Probably shouldn't meet me in a Berlin dungeon either then :innocent:

I've been involved in swingy capers for about 3yrs now and I've made genuine friends, regular partners and found real human warmth and connection, its just not monogamous or committed outside the moment.

Granted its not as deep as monogamous relationships I've had but it suits me well just now.
 
Cat Milk Supreme said:
I've been involved in swingy capers for about 3yrs now and I've made genuine friends, regular partners and found real human warmth and connection, its just not monogamous or committed outside the moment.
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3 years in swinging? You certainly have some energy there! I was involved with a serial swinger once, interesting person and there was genuine passion and tenderness but as you said, the commitment faded away quickly. Not my thing. I used to be “sex at the first night” hunter which could end being one night stand or many nights /weeks etc stands. Many partners but without mixing each other and not in public or sharing. Some minor sharing did happen but organically and very seldomly.
Those things require a certain energy which in my case lasted about 5 years and I was 20+ years younger. Not to mention I’m in a very happy relationship. So these things seem so far from me now, like many life-times away, not that I am a different person, way more than that!
Anyway, good for you!
 
Haha obviously, by energy I didn’t mean anything physical; it’s that even maintaining the mindset to pursue this way of life for so long, also demands energy in a big way.
 
____no5 said:
Haha obviously, by energy I didn’t mean anything physical; it’s that even maintaining the mindset to pursue this way of life for so long, also demands energy in a big way.
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That was certainly true at the start, the novelty and the difficulties in trying to 'crack the scene' but its a much more casual endeavour these days, less energy required.
 
Looks like I missed a few pages but when did we shift from "hopeless metal nerd too shy to look at a female human"? :D
 
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mtmccox said:
Looks like I missed a few pages but when did we shift from "hopeless metal nerd too shy to look at a female human"? :D
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I think it's partly my fault as I noticed the shift after my comment about going to a pro, he said my life's a bore and to quit my whining cuz it was bringing him down. After that it went on to sex clubs and swinging soooo.... my bad I guess.

Since I'm here though, a bit of an update. I think I've found a decent arrangement. One of the women I met on my journey through Acacia Avenue, decided to retire as she was recognized at her daughter's school. She wasn't outed, thank god, but it was enough for her to call it quits. Just in time to as she (like many others) was saving money to start her own business. On our last meeting she told me her plans and how she was done. Then she said, "A friend asked me if there was anyone I was willing to make an exception for and I told her there was this one guy, but he hasn't asked about it..." She left it hanging in the air and I was about to say, "Oh, you mean, me?" When she says, "It's you silly!" We had a laugh about it and well, it kinda took care of that. She calls me up when she's in the mood or vice versa and I don't have to seek other girls out, complicate things with people I otherwise wouldn't want anything else, don't have to go out on dates or get flowers, etc. So can't complain.
 
____no5 said:
It’s great. You might end up not paying at all and be friends with benefits. Very clean and humanly relations.
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We'll see. I much prefer this arrangement as it keeps a clear boundary. It is still a business first and foremost. Like, your barista, mechanic, hair stylist, etc. can be friendly with you, but it doesn't mean you're friends. That's how I see this, we have physical chemistry, we talk about what's going on in each other's lives, but we are not friends, we're friendly... very friendly lol.
 
Onhell said:
I think it's partly my fault as I noticed the shift after my comment about going to a pro, he said my life's a bore and to quit my whining cuz it was bringing him down. After that it went on to sex clubs and swinging soooo.... my bad I guess.
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And what exactly is wrong with sex clubs and swinging?!

Na, I jest, of course. I see how such chat could be considered as lowering the tone. But also fuck it, its my version of 'dating.'

Note - I would have inserted an smiley/funny/laughing type emoji at the end but it was such hard work I abandoned the process so take the above with a smile at the end.
 
Cat Milk Supreme said:
And what exactly is wrong with sex clubs and swinging?!

Na, I jest, of course. I see how such chat could be considered as lowering the tone. But also fuck it, its my version of 'dating.'

Note - I would have inserted an smiley/funny/laughing type emoji at the end but it was such hard work I abandoned the process so take the above with a smile at the end.
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I never said it was a bad shift lol. I don't think it "lowered" the tone, just changed it. For better or worse depends on the reader, I guess. These are things I've considered and been curious about. A friend of mine used to participate in the swinging scene decades ago and when I told him I considered going to a club here in town he said, "At least your old and mature enough so as it doesn't scar you for life" LOL. I think it's evident other things have done that already, but I'm still on the fence about it.
 
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