Mental Health Thread

Do you fear death, dying, etc.?

  • Yes

    Votes: 12 23.1%

  • No

    Votes: 21 40.4%

  • Trying my best to not think about it

    Votes: 15 28.8%

  • Never really thought about it and I'm unable to come up with an answer on a spot

    Votes: 4 7.7%
  • Total voters
    52
Diesel 11 said:
I do have a fear of death, and it’s come about for two reasons, both stemming from my brain. It’s the worst sort of brain to have - the one that thinks too much. All the little things bother me. I think about discographies and think about how such and such isn’t a perfect discography, not because there are bad songs in it, because the songs aren’t... songs? Huh? I don’t know. That’s just one instance of my brain acting up. To get on the actual subject:

The first reason isn’t so much a fear of death as it is a fear of Hell. I don’t believe in Heaven, I don’t believe in a God, I don’t believe in any sort of afterlife or powerful being. I think that, at the end of the day, we’re all just flesh, blood, and bones walking right off the edge of a cliff. But this carcass to be - myself - keeps thinking about how it would not like to burn in a lake of fire forever just because it thought the wrong shit. I don’t like pain, I don’t like suffering, and I certainly wouldn’t want all the torment ramped to the max. The knowing that the beyond is open and we the living know not what it is we’ll find in the pits of our graves scares me. I don’t think there is a Hell, but if there is... fuck. Worst of all is that the whole “fire insurance” Christianity is the worst kind of religious person to be. I don’t believe in it, so even if I do some level of dedication to a religion, I’m not gonna be “saved” if there is a pit of perpetual torment. It’s a no-win situation for me.

The second reason I fear death goes two ways: I don’t like the thought of eternity, and I don’t want to stop living. The first one hit me across the head even when I was still a Christian. The idea of a never ending life is just... scary. My mortal mind can’t comprehend it and that’s what makes me so nerve-racked when even trying to think of it. But at the same time, I don’t want this life to end. I don’t want to just stop existing, I want to live and make some sort of mark on the world. The last thing I’d wanna be is just another human in a world full of other humans dying away without any significance whatsoever. And then I start thinking of all the other people who do live like that. And then I start shaking again because I realize that I only have one life to live and if I fuck it up, that’s it. Which also pisses me off when other people try to control other people, but that’s a separate story.

One of my problems is that I seem to have a break from reality. I go throw life not really feeling that it’s real. Right now I know I’m typing up a post, but... it just doesn’t seem real. It feel like I’m living in a 2D world, so to speak. Time goes by fast and I know that soon enough I’m just gonna drop dead. For some this shit would lead them to suicide; to me it makes me want immortality more so I wouldn’t have to worry about all this crap. And then of course the possibilities of other people fucking up and killing me - or worse, paralyzing me or shit like that - it just... fucks with my mind.

Long story short, I’m basically fucked no matter how this bomb explodes.
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Fantastic, I make this post and then out of the blue I end up in a funk where I don't care if I live or die. Great.
 
Not that I know of, no. If anything, posting about the music I like on here helps me steer clear of the nasty thoughts I have from time to time, so thanks for that.
 
I do like to take walks and that helps a lot, so maybe kicking things up a notch isn't a bad idea.
 
Diesel 11 said:
I do like to take walks and that helps a lot, so maybe kicking things up a notch isn't a bad idea.
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Only you know what works for you. We're here for you, but ultimately you are already taking the right steps to ride it out by posting here and taking walks to either dwell on it, mull it over, clear your head or all of the above. My favorite place is the shower lol. the sound of the water, the way it hits the back of my neck.... something therapeutic about it where I can just disappear in my thoughts.

The only thing I will say is, don't isolate yourself, keep posting, reach out to anyone close IRL. Hang in there.
 
Diesel 11 said:
I definitely don't think I could ever go through with suicide, as an aside. No matter how one does it, it's gonna be painful.
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That's always good to hear, but even so, isolation only makes whatever it is you are going through worse. I don't work out, but then again I walk over 10 hours a day, so that covers the natural seratonin and dopamine release. The few times I have felt down in the past few months, my brother, few close friends I have here and of course the girlfriend have helped, even if it is just listening. Counting your blessings works as well. I go down a list: I'm alive, that's always good. I don't go hungry, aside from my depression, no serious illnesses, somehow I've managed to convince a group of people that I'm cool and they choose to be my friends, etc. If life has taught me one thing is, things can always be worse, so I don't worry about how bad things are and instead enjoy how good it currently is.
 
Socialization is key as well. And I don't mean socialization on the internet.

Gen Z has far bigger numbers of anxiety and depression compared to previous generations. We are simply stuck on our computers and phones and don't know how to balance things out properly.

Look up Stephen Ilardi's TedTalk, Depression Is a Disease of Civilization. Pretty good insights there.
 
I'm sorry to hear you're suffering, Diesel. :( I hope you'll feel better as soon as possible. It's good to hear you still enjoy music, and if you enjoy some other hobbies as well, it might be a good idea to do those as well. Sometimes I fall in a black hole, and think I'm all alone in this world, but please be smarter than me and remember you're not alone! :)
 
I may come across as totally insensitive with what I'm about to say, but I still think I should. I think too much introspection and over thinking stuff can actually worsen depression and anxiety. Take life as it is and don't spend too much time worrying about yourself or others.

Also, keep in mind that vitamin D deficiency can contribute to depression and dark thoughts, so it's very common to feel low around the end of the winter. So go out in the sun and take in as much vitamin D as possible.
 
Ariana said:
I think too much introspection and over thinking stuff can actually worsen depression and anxiety.
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No offense, but I think that is a redundant statement. Inability to stop introspection and overthinking is what depression and anxiety is. It's extended fight-or-flight response. Telling depressed or anxious people to stop overthinking offers no help whatsoever.

Ariana said:
Also, keep in mind that vitamin D deficiency can contribute to depression and dark thoughts, so it's very common to feel low around the end of the winter. So go out in the sun and take in as much vitamin D as possible.
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This, on the other hand, is helpful advice.
 
By the way, it may be a good idea to convert this thread to a Mental Help thread entirely, as it already seems to be heading in that direction.
 
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