Wasted CLV said:
Everything confuses me. So I just shrug and turn up the music.
Whats going on today around the world of Maiden fans?
I translated this from Norwegian:
METAL FAIRY TALES!
Scenario:
A princess is held captive in a castle by a Dragon.
POWER METAL:
The Hero comes riding in on a unicorn, sneaking past the dragon, rescues the princess and makes love with her in the Magical Forest...
TRASH METAL:
The Hero comes, fights the dragon, fucks the princess.
HEAVY METAL:
The Hero comes riding in on a Harley, Kills the dragon, drink a couple of beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL:
The Hero comes with a lot of friends, playing flutes and a whole bunch of wacky instruments. The dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing), everyone goes home without the princess.
VIKING METAL:
The Hero comes in a viking ship, and slays the dragon with an Axe, skins it and eats it. He then rapes the princess, pillage and burns the castle before sailing home.
DEATH METAL:
The Hero comes, kills the dragon, kills the princess, goes home.
BLACK METAL:
The Hero comes at midnight, kills the dragon and crucify it in front of the castle. He then rapes and kills the princess, drink her blood, before crucifying her next to the dragon and walking away.
GORE METAL:
The Hero comes, kills the dragon and tosses the intestines around. He then fucks the princess and kills her. her then fucks her again, light her corps on fire and fucks her a third time.
DOOM METAL:
The Hero comes, sees the dragon and says "Fuck... I can't beat that", becomes depressed and commit suicide. The dragon eats the Hero and the princess.
GRUNGE METAL:
The hero comes, makes the dragon depressed, and OD's in the princesses chamber after three days.
LOVE METAL:
The Hero comes riding in on a white horse, singing "Myyyyyyyyy Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove". the dragon flees. The Hero rescues the princess and lights a cigarette, but dies on the way home from a broken heart.
PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The Hero comes and play a 26 minutes long guitar solo. the dragon kills himself out of boredom. The Hero enters the princesses chamber and plays another 26 minutes guitar solo. The princess runs away in search of the Heavy Metal Hero.
GLAM METAL:
The Hero comes. The dragon drops over from laughter upon seeing his outfit and make-up, and simply lets him walk on by. the Hero enters the princesses chamber, steals her make-up, before painting the castle pink with nail polish.
NU METAL:
The Hero comes in a car. He fights the dragon, but dies when he gets tangled up in those ridiculously wide clothes he's wearing. The princess takes part in a reality show.
...AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER...
