Fuck Cats
We have 2 Dogs (one passed away a month or so ago and we recently got a new dog). we have a cat, as I call it the fucking cat, because she wakes me up about 3 times a week pretty early. The cat came with my wife, I honestly thought it would be dead by now.
We have been in this house for about 10 years and have a dog door, we crate the dogs at night.
Last night, my wife was staying at her Mom's house (she is having some problems, my wife and her sisters are rotating staying over there).
So, I go to bed after an evening of watching baseball, hockey, and some fine adult entertainment.
Around 2:30AM, I hear a bunch of noise in the living room, then a bunch of animal running in the bedroom. Half asleep and blind without my glasses I see a large orange blur knock over a table, a lamp, crash into the window and take the blinds half way down.
Scared the fuck out of me. I got my glasses on, ran in another room and closed whatever it was in. I grabbed a 3-Wood, opened the door and started lobbing some shoes over the bed and saw a fucking cat run around and get under the bed. I tried getting it out with the golf club, then I heard all kinds of hissing. Not wanting the fucker to bite me, I turned on the robot vacuum and sent it under the bed and the cat ran into the living room and out the back door. I put the dog door blocker in and went back to sleep, which was not easy.
The good news is that it started pouring ass rain shortly after, hope the fucker drowned. I had hopes our cat was outside, but she was hiding in the closet when all this went on. I kinda pieced together that the cats met up outside, the strange cat chased our cat around and she led him/her into the house.
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Other great moments in cat history
Coming in at 3 AM with a bird in her mouth that was screaming its head off
Bringing a fucking rat in the house that took forever to kill, after it chewed through a bunch of crap
Finding a barely alive bunny in the back yard, with it's guts clawed out
A slew of dead lizards
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The only time something like this happened with the dogs
I was working at home and walked out of the office to grab some water. I looked in the living room and saw our two dogs plus a third dog. Looks like he dug a hole under our fence and came in through the dog door, made two new friends and was just hanging out with them on the couch.
He did not have tags, called animal control and they came and got him.
Incredibly friendly dog, we tried to adopt it, but they found his family.
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Cats=dead animals and waking up to animal screams
Dogs= making friends and chilling on the couch