Let's try and get 1,000,000 replies to this post

[Perun]

Not me, at least. But given the painful demise almost every plant under my supervision has suffered, I don't know if I want to do that to the poor lettuce.

 

[Ariana]

Poor lettuce? The one you've been plotting to chop and eat?

 

[Perun]

It'll probably have starved before that happens. I'm botany-Hitler.

 

[Ariana]

Trust me, it's hard to kill a lettuce. Unless you really want to prove you're capable of that.

 

[Perun]

I've had cacti die of thirst.

 

[Ariana]

I've had cacti die of thirst.

Hehe! Me too. I don't know if it was of thirst or it just committed suicide, unable to bear the neglect.

 

[Perun]

If I was to tend a vulture, it would probably starve on a battlefield.

 

[Ariana]

Aren't vultures supposed to find their own food?

 

[Perun]

I think so. But that's beside the point.

 

[Ariana]

Alright, go on. Elaborate.

 

[Perun]

I think it could be used for a poetic statement that I would even make something die that feeds on death. Which you could interpret to mean that I am the embodiment of a strange aeon, with which even death may die.

 

[Ariana]

Of starvation?

 

[Perun]

When it comes down to it, the reason for death is always the same: Your heart stops beating.

 

[Perun]

But yeah, if there's anyone who could make death starve, it's me.

 

[Ariana]

But Death looks a bit starved indeed.
Edit: Sorry, I screwed up my posts.

 

[Perun]

The good thing is that I've stopped worrying about which book to read on the tube now. I'm going for my Lovecraft anthology. Later!

 

[Ariana]

I've always thought Lovecraft sounds like a name from a Renaissance comedy.

 

[Perun]

Pretty ironic if you consider that it couldn't be further from it.

 

[Ariana]

Exactly.

 

[Perun]

How delightfully absurd!