Kids

C

Christopher Baines

Educated Fool
Does anyone else wonder why the hell people want kids. I have 2 step children, granted they are not mine, but i have parented them since they were 9 and 4. They are now 17 and 13. I see no redeming features of having them. Theyre untidy, the drain your bank balance, you get no peace with them, not a minute to yourself, theyre always whinging, they are weak, they cant take anything anymore, they think the smallest adversity scars them for life, they think they are so hard done to, theyre lazy. I could go on lol. Mine arent even that bad compared to others i see but i just dont see why most of us would want that in our lives.

And another thing, those that say family is everything clearly havent met mine. I have a big family but i cant stand 90% of them. You can choose your friends but you cant your family and most of mine are arseholes who i wouldnt piss on if they were on fire. People say 'yes but they are blood' so what!

Anyone else feel the same?
 
Christopher Baines said:
Theyre untidy, the drain your bank balance, you get no peace with them, not a minute to yourself, theyre always whinging, they are weak, they cant take anything anymore, they think the smallest adversity scars them for life, they think they are so hard done to, theyre lazy. I could go on lol. Mine arent even that bad compared to others i see but i just dont see why most of us would want that in our lives.

Anyone else feel the same?
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www.bbc.com

People have always whinged about young adults. Here's proof

Older people love to gripe about the entitled, lazy millennial generation. But it's nothing new – by delving into the archives, we found plenty of parallels stretching back 2,000 years
www.bbc.com www.bbc.com
 
I have almost a 3 year old son, he is brilliant. I consider that we won the lottery with this one, so I got a vasectomy 2 years ago. Will see how it goes in future.
It is definitely taxing, for me maybe the biggest thing is the loss of freedom, flexibility. I completely understand why would someone not want to have kids at all - if I didn't have mine, I would be perfectly fine and happy. But I love him too much and would not take it back. Anyway to each his own, I guess.
 
I have a 9 year old daughter and could not be happier. My life is completely different to how it was before (as @mtmccox has pointed out), but I do not have any regrets. Furthermore, I really like how kids from her generation are so aware of things like climate change, racism or discrimination and do not hesitate to challenge dubious adults' behaviour. I am somewhat sad about the state of the planet they are inheriting though (that was one of the reasons why I did not have kids until I was in my late 30s).
 
GhostofCain said:
I have a 9 year old daughter and could not be happier. My life is completely different to how it was before (as @mtmccox has pointed out), but I do not have any regrets. Furthermore, I really like how kids from her generation are so aware of things like climate change, racism or discrimination and do not hesitate to challenge dubious adults' behaviour. I am somewhat sad about the state of the planet they are inheriting though (that was one of the reasons why I did not have kids until I was in my late 30s).
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Thats great and most parents feel the same, i just cant stand them lol
 
Christopher Baines said:
Thats great and most parents feel the same, i just cant stand them lol
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You are a Philip Larkin fan, aren’t you? :D

This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
 
GhostofCain said:
You are a Philip Larkin fan, aren’t you? :D

This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
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Never that but i like it lol. Im actually very good to them. I dont want them to be treated like i was. Doesnt mean i like them thougj
 
I grew up in a weird family situation, with a lying mother and (step)father who claimed to be my father all my childhood, and still claims so. A few halv siblings and step brother. I love my mother, but I can never trust her. I never wanted kids myself and never be married due to all this, but life happens. I met my current wife who come from a big family, so no kids were never a option for her. We got two beautiful kids, one of them is chronically ill for the rest of his life and will need our support for many years after he is an adult.

So the "I will never have any kids" ended up with lots of extra work in form of chronic sick child. And I don’t regret it one bit. But the most important thing is; if you are not ready for kids, simply don’t make them. They need parents who are 110 percent committed to them.
 
Sth2112 said:
I grew up in a weird family situation, with a lying mother and (step)father who claimed to be my father all my childhood, and still claims so. A few halv siblings and step brother. I love my mother, but I can never trust her. I never wanted kids myself and never be married due to all this, but life happens. I met my current wife who come from a big family, so no kids were never a option for her. We got two beautiful kids, one of them is chronically ill for the rest of his life and will need our support for many years after he is an adult.

So the "I will never have any kids" ended up with lots of extra work in form of chronic sick child. And I don’t regret it one bit. But the most important thing is; if you are not ready for kids, simply don’t make them. They need parents who are 110 percent committed to them.
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Yep thats what i didnt have any of mine. Its not that im not ready, i just never want them.

Sounds like a lot of hard work for you bud but hope your coping ok
 
I've never wanted children and now I'm pretty sure I couldn't have one anymore. However, my relative's young kids are very important to me. When other people tell about their kids, I often tell about them. I thought I wouldn't have any relationship with them, but it turned out to be completely opposite, I even babysit them a lot when they were toddlers. This is actually brilliant because I feel I can experience the positives about children without having to commit to them entirely, and many of the unpleasant things are taken care of by the parents. :p
 
Lamia020281 said:
I've never wanted children and now I'm pretty sure I couldn't have one anymore. However, my relative's young kids are very important to me. When other people tell about their kids, I often tell about them. I thought I wouldn't have any relationship with them, but it turned out to be completely opposite, I even babysit them a lot when they were toddlers. This is actually brilliant because I feel I can experience the positives about children without having to commit to them entirely, and many of the unpleasant things are taken care of by the parents. :p
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Theres no positives i can see
 
I have a 15-year old stepdaughter. She's been in my life for ten years now, she's my daughter in all but name, and my world is better for it. I don't want a life without her in it. If you love your child, biological or not, the rest doesn't matter.
If your partner however has some crotch goblins that you don't care for and just tolerate for your partner's sake, it won't make you happy.

For some reason, I always ended up working with children in educational contexts. I never actively aimed for it, but I've become good at it and am okay with having it as part of my professional life. But I don't 'need' it per se, if I ever get a permanent position I like that doesn't involve work with kids, I'd be okay with that too.
 
I'm approaching thirty, starting to think a lot about my future and I like the idea of having a partner (not sure about marriage) and children someday. Then I hear stuff like this, plus I've met a lot of new people in my new job, mostly blokes, who do the typical blokey thing of complaining about their wives and children, advising me to "stay that way" when I tell them I'm single. I just think it's a bit of a "grass is greener" situation. Men who have a wife and kids seem to want nothing more than to get away from them, then there's me hoping for them.
 
I've never had much interest in kids, which probably wasn't helped by being told time and time again it was inevitable and I would get "broody' at some point because hormones. I guess my experience is different being a woman.

I got pulled into helping out at a playgroup when I was younger and really didn't enjoy being around the din, screaming, crying, fighting, farting, vomiting and general chaos, which the adults involved seem to think was wonderful and magical.

Add to that living in an area where kids are aggressive delinquent little shits who are destructive, mean and abusive (probably because that's how their families also act) and I've never liked them much.

It's a bit different now, and I can see eye to eye with girls in particular, and generally have time for them. There are quite a few in a hobby I'm involved in, and it's great to see them enjoying taking part, wanting to learn, and wanting to talk to everyone, both adults and other children. Their outlook is so simplistic and refreshing. I can see exactly where I was at that age and understand them

It's a big difference when they're brought up without an us and them attitude rubbing off on them from family or peers.
 
Perun said:
I have a 15-year old stepdaughter. She's been in my life for ten years now, she's my daughter in all but name, and my world is better for it. I don't want a life without her in it. If you love your child, biological or not, the rest doesn't matter.
If your partner however has some crotch goblins that you don't care for and just tolerate for your partner's sake, it won't make you happy.

For some reason, I always ended up working with children in educational contexts. I never actively aimed for it, but I've become good at it and am okay with having it as part of my professional life. But I don't 'need' it per se, if I ever get a permanent position I like that doesn't involve work with kids, I'd be okay with that too.
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Yeah ive had my step kids for 8 years now and they dont feel like mine at all. Maybe thats my fault or maybe its cos they have a dad, although he only sees them once a week but i feel no connection with them at all, in fact i cant stand them. However i treat them well and with respect, i just get nothing in return.
 
Christopher Baines said:
i feel no connection with them at all, in fact i cant stand them. However i treat them well and with respect, i just get nothing in return.
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It’s a possibility that they notice you can’t stand them, don’t have a connection and that they don’t feel well treated or respected, despite any intentions. Children are extremely proficient in sensing vibes, attitudes and noticing things you try to keep from them. The latter was plainly demonstrated by my soon-to-be four year old half an hour ago.

Not saying it is the case here, but kids pick up on stuff.
 
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Edington said:
I'm approaching thirty, starting to think a lot about my future and I like the idea of having a partner (not sure about marriage) and children someday. Then I hear stuff like this, plus I've met a lot of new people in my new job, mostly blokes, who do the typical blokey thing of complaining about their wives and children, advising me to "stay that way" when I tell them I'm single. I just think it's a bit of a "grass is greener" situation. Men who have a wife and kids seem to want nothing more than to get away from them, then there's me hoping for them.
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Yep my advice is definetly stay single. Youll have so much more fun lol
 
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