The worst songs yet need to come. They aren't on this album.
Boy, you weren't kidding.
Turbo (1986)
Turbo Lover – Immediately I hate what I’m hearing. This doesn’t sound like Judas Priest, it certainly doesn’t like heavy metal. Is this Priest’s
Somewhere In Time? No, because SIT never pandered to a pop sound this much, even with the synthesizers. It’s drenched in synth and keyboards and there’s virtually no guitar in the mix. When the guitars come in the song actually gets decent but it’s mired by a boring mix of chords that follow the (rather mundane) verse melody. I really hate the boom-bap drums and I really hope this whole album won’t be another drum and bass mid-tempo slog like
Point of Entry, but something tells me I’ll be disappointed. The chorus is catchy and Glenn’s lead is cool, though I wish the first bit was surrounded with less synth. The second half (with the atonal flourishes) is really great. The lyrics are actually decent for this kind of material, color me shocked. I do like Rob’s voice the most in this mid-range belt tone. It’s a pretty decent tune when all is said and done, but the production worries me.
8/10
Locked In – This one starts off like a true Priest song and that stupid buzzsaw synth kills the vibe. I think there are cool bass fills throughout this song, but the pop production buries it. Pretty neat riff in the pre-chorus, too. I just…I really don’t like the vibe. It’s like I’m driving a convertible in California in 1986 with a bad perm (oh wait, that’s exactly what it is). Glenn’s solos are cool, KK’s synth leads are stupid. I feel like I’m flying a fighter jet in an 8-bit video game after the solo. God, this is cheesy sounding. Rob sounds good again, but the lyrics are significantly stupider than the first song. I’ll give this one an extra point because if you speed it up 10bpm and get rid of the synths, it’s a pretty rocking Priest song.
7/10
Private Property – More annoying synths, more boom-bap drums, more sighing from this guy. This song starts out alright despite those shortcomings. I really like the catchy melody in the pre-chorus, but the chorus is just annoying. Everything about the chorus and post-chorus music is pure 80’s hair metal cheese. It’s overly poppy, overly produced, and annoying. I feel like I’m listening to Twisted Sister produced by The Cars. Lame. I’ll probably never actively listen to this again because of its sheer lame mediocrity.
4/10
Parental Guidance – Cool, well this sounds like Bryan Adams. What is this album? Why are they doing this? This sounds like every lame band from the 80s
except Judas Priest. Gross. The chorus, again, is awful and it’s equal parts due to the lyrics and the garbage backing vocals. “You’re just Mister Dull,” Christ. Did I press play on a Poison song by accident? Even worse than the previous song. The pandering attempt at recalling You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’ is just cringeworthy. We’re on a downward spiral, I think.
1/10
Rock You All Around the World – Holy shit, a cool (simple) riff! Is this a metal so…..NOPE. The music isn’t terrible, there’s some cool leads, but the lyrics and backing vocals are awful again. Nice singing from Rob, but he can’t save this song from my biggest pet peeve, “rock lyrics about rocking”. To make matters worse, we’ve got choreographed gang vocals singing about “the rock!” Shoot me. I prefer to just be rocked with great songs, not told I’m being rocked with bad songs. This gets an extra point just for some decent guitar work.
2/10
Out in the Cold – The intro is a tug-of-war of my opinion: at first I hate it, then the mood draws me in sounding a bit like late 80’s Dio, then that off-time drum mixing makes me hate everything all over again. I dig it once the band kicks in and so far it’s the most legitimately powerful track on the album. It’s still over-produced and could probably be sung by Pat Benatar, but for some reason this song draws me in. The lyrics are numbingly simplistic, but Rob’s performance is great and I love the melody pattern of the verse. The solo section is really nice and moody, even with the synths. The riff under KK’s solo has some great movement. Out in the Cold is one of only two songs on this album to which I’ll ever actively return.
8/10
Wild Nights, Hot & Crazy Days – More Poison? Maybe some Van Halen? More boom-bap? More Dire Straits synth guitars? AC/DC vocals? Horrible, garbage, pointless lyrics? Face palm. This makes me long for the likes of Take on All the World, United, or Heavy Duty.
1/10
Hot for Love – Bad synth, cool riff(!!!), oh wait, more boring riffs and boom-bap. More insipid lyrics. Once again, the pre-chorus is very catchy and lame pop metal chorus ruins it. The bridge and solos redeem this track a bit, but not enough to matter. That harmonized unison is truly great and deserves placement in a better composition.
4/10
Reckless – A very promising start with some great guitar work, but Rob’s vocals are a little stretched in the verses. The chorus actually flows nicely and
doesn’t feature gang vocals! This is a good tune and definitely the only Priest-sounding track on the entire album. The guitars are great throughout and there’s another very nice, slightly manic Glenn solo. So far in the discography, I think this is Priest’s strongest closer and the only time where the closing track is also the strongest.
9/10
Album rating – 4.8/10
Turbo is hands down the weakest Priest album so far. I have no doubt that without synth, with some slight tempo changes, and a second pass on the lyrics this album would have been far superior. The guys clearly know what they’re doing in these songs – the stuff I hate is clearly intentional. I simply disagree with all of the production decisions.
I did listen to the 5 songs that missed the cut (and aren’t on
Ram It Down), but none are great. Prisoner of Your Eyes is really cool and definitely better than most tracks on this album (if not all). It sounds like the kind of song that Dio would have sung the hell out of. All Fired Up is also solid. Turn On Your Light and Heart of a Lion are both alright but neither feel like fully realized tracks to me. Red, White & Blue is trash of the United variety.
What is your audio source
@MrKnickerbocker The only full album I see on YouTube sounds like shit.
I have acquired them all at 320kpbs and with original mixes through some friends