I gots a conspiracy theory!!

Deano said:
I know, Albie really needs to succumb to the strain of peer pressure. You know, he's really been like this his whole life. I remember, gosh, he must've been 7, maybe 8, and we were all out at the mall. So in a fit of boredom we all decide to start licking this car bumper, keep in mind, this was a long time ago.... it was a chrome bumper on a '79 Ford Thunderbird, not like the bumpers of today, no, not at all. Man! and it was summer too, so that chrome was so hot but, I mean, we were all doing it; all of us that is except Albie. We're like, "Come on Albie! This is really quite pleasant.", but HE JUST WOULD NOT DO IT. Talk about being difficult! This girl, I can't remember her name; she's like "Albie! What about Pluto?" and he's like "Yeah, what about it?" So she says, "One day you're going to take your IPOD and not shuffle it and that MF is going to come straight here and blow us to hell man!" By this time we're all looking at her, cause we're all poor and all, and just have cassette players and we're thinking, "This snotty little Bitch! All this time we're fast forwarding and rewinding trying to hit the beginning of songs exactly and she's been holding out on us with technology from the next millennium!" Well Albie is having none of this; he says, "You know, up until now I WAS going to shuffle my songs on my IPOD but you ruined it, you ruined it! I hope Pluto does come and blow us to hell!" I'm just this stupid kid thinking IPOD? What does pancakes have to do with this? And what are they talking about Mickey's dog coming and blowing the hell out of us for? That's not right! Since my mind is so preoccupied with all this nonsense I don't understand, I fail to take my tongue of the bumper of the car and now I have this horrible burn scar there and can't taste a damned thing. Thanks a lot Albie!
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You, sir, just made my day :D
 
Onhell said:
That's until it blows us up because Albie refuses to shuffle his iPod :p
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Let it blow up. I will never shuffle. I point blank refuse.

@Deano: Peer pressure? Remember when you was licking the chrome from that '79 T'bird, I was in my teens. I was not going to let some little urchin tell me what I should do. :D


I pity those that shuffle.
 
Albie said:
Let it blow up. I will never shuffle. I point blank refuse.

@Deano: Peer pressure? Remember when you was licking the chrome from that '79 T'bird, I was in my teens. I was not going to let some little urchin tell me what I should do. :D


I pity those that shuffle.
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And they pity you right back. Pity all around and all this Pity makes me think of P. Diddy and how similar sounding it is and I wonder who Pitys P. Diddy? Those who shuffle or those who don't or both? And if it is both can we not come together against a common enemy and not pity each other, but instead together, united, as one, like a fist, made of many individual fingers, but together they make one mighty blow, one might blow of pity towards P. Diddy as we hold hands and sing Kumba Ya as some of us shuffle and some of us... Don't. *sniff*
 
If I had ever doubted the depth of madness on this forum, I now have an assurance that the depth is endless.  This is like a black hole of madness, with Deano and Onhell piloting our space ship into it.
 
Deano and Onhell clones now piloting the Pluto Death Star. The end is near..... resistance is futile.
 
Deano said:
Deano and Onhell clones now piloting the Pluto Death Star. The end is near..... resistance is futile.
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Wait, is it a Borg powered Pluto Death Star?
 
In late 1999, I got a job at a tech startup. I was the 8th person to join the company. The guy in charge of email gave us all Borg-email addresses. For a time, you could have reached me at 8of8@elinear.com.

Yes, the above was entirely irrelevant to this "discussion".

But I gotta say I freakin' love shuffle. I have my Winamp on shuffle most of the time. Just consider the variety you can get when your library is large enough. My last 4 artists have been Frank Zappa, Rhapsody, Motley Crue and Voivod. How can a person possibly fail to dig that?

Alright, I suppose you can fail to dig Rhapsody. I don't like 'em. If I ever run out of hard drive space, they'll be among the first to get deleted.

But if you fail to dig Voivod, terrible things will happen. All your hair will fall out, and your cat will make strange noises. (This applies whether or not you actually have a cat. I don't. (It's not that I don't like cats - I just prefer dogs. Dogs have more personality. (The shuffle has now moved on to Aerosmith. Three cheers for musical diversity!) Dogs are social, cats are not. And I don't like antisocial beings. (Unless it's me. I am sometimes antisocial.) So maybe it's no big deal if your cat makes strange noises.) If you don't have a cat, get one. And then give it to some poor sap who doesn't mind strange noises.) The tire store will overcharge you for your next set of tires. You may accidentally burn the next grilled cheese sandwich you cook. (Although they're sometimes better that way, unless you're also adding tomato to the sandwich. Burnt tomato is nasty. (I heard that if you eat way too many tomatoes, it turns your skin bright red. I've been thinking that I might try that. (The other night, I thought that it would be weird if somebody tried to make a tomato-flavored cola. Like carbonated V8. Maybe I should invent that. You never know. It might turn out all right and make me rich.) Having bright red skin would be fun. Nobody would be able to tell if you're sunburned. (Or should that word be sunburnt?) (And now the shuffle is on Kiss. A great band.) Maybe with my bright red skin I could attend a Washington Redskins game. And then go streaking on the field and get arrested. I haven't been in jail for 15 years; maybe it's time I went back for another taste. (Now on to Audioslave. I love the bass sound on their records. Every note has a distinct BOING to it.) Nah, that's just dumb. Jail sucks. I've been there twice, I should be able to remember that.) But a burnt grilled cheese sandwich would be good if there was bacon on it, so long as the bacon isn't too far gone.) (Now a Mozart string quartet.) To avoid these events, listen to Voivod. And make your friends listen to Voivod. And pretend you're from some civil rights group, then get an appointment to see the mayor of your city, and when you get into his office, go right up to him and scream in his face: "VOIVOD!". Then tap dance out of there.
 
Onhell, your ass has been thouroughly kicked by SMX in the rambling, barely coherent, pin ball thought process.
 
I don't know about that... I definitely give it a 9/10, I'm concerned that actually made sense to me... But I agree, three cheers to musical diversity, but if you don't dig Rhapsody you don't belong this side of Mordor...
 
Puh-leez. Rhapsody is just a bunch of wankers who wish they were elves, occasionally hanging out with Christopher Lee - who in turn should have stuck with playing vampires.
 
As requested: more conspiracies straight from Mordor:

Mexicans will never be out of work. They are secretly being brought here by George W. Bush to work on a top secret space program that will colonize and build up the moon. Phase one has been completed: there is a fully functional Home Depot in place under the surface as we speak. Phase two is building W's throne room. Phase three is a Taco Rico/ El Pollo Loco next to the Home Depot. Georgie will continue his presidency from this base by osmosis and mind control. Phase four is a 500 X 500 Kilometer neon Starbucks sign that will be constructed on the Dark Side of the Moon, the purpose of this is to advertise to those who may be coming to see us. George will be expecting visitors, oh yes he will. Is that purple?
 
Dunno about 'purlple', but if it doesn't emit any greenhouse gasses on the Earth, does that make the moon 'green'?
 
Huh.  Well, that makes me think of blue cheese, and I like having that on a blackened burger, not blackened by fire, but nice and spicy, those burgers are great, and I like to have my blue cheese on them, which reminds me of the fact that there used to be a blue cheese factory in the town that I grew up in, and it really stunk bad, all that cheese coming out of there, and I used to think that I no one could eat that cheese, but i guess it was a big deal, cause some kid and his dog found moldy cheese in a cave in my town 150+ years ago, and it became blue cheese here, and everyone is really proud of it, and a catholic priest brought some grape vines at the same time, and they make a lot of wine here, so the town is known for its wine and cheese, and its funny cause the cheese factory is just across the street from the catholic church, but what is really funny is that the wine sucks and the cheese factory is gone and demolished and is now owned by the Mormons in the town, but each year, there is a celebration of the wine and the cheese, of which the major draw is the beer tent, but this year, i think the attendence will be down cause of the price of gas and the fact that beer prices are on the rise cause of fuel and the fact that the hop harvest was low last year, which kinda bums me out, cause my two favorite things to do are drive and drink beer, and now, since I can't do either of those, cause of the economy, i think i'm gonna have to take up online gambling, cause i can do that at home on my computer, or maybe online porn, which would be cheaper, except for replacing the keyboard on occasion, but I am thinking of getting a new computer soon anyway, cause the one I have is pretty slow and doesn't download stuff fast enough for me, so I mite take LC's recomendation and pick up a good Apple-- speaking of which, (red apples came to mind, which is the same color as tomatoes) did you hear there is a salmonala poisoning bit going around, so you can't get tomatoes on your  burgers now?  What a drag.
 
wasted155 said:
did you hear there is a salmonala poisoning bit going around, so you can't get tomatoes on your  burgers now?  What a drag.
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Yes, that epidemic has brought production of my tomato-flavored cola to a standstill.
I've been forced to divert my energies to plan B: carrot cola.
 
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